Friday, February 27, 2015

Weekend Warrior, pre-planning

I keep forgetting to consult my planner when making plans and that is terrible. You'd think after screwing myself over several times, I would give more time in that practice. But as it turns out, you'd be wrong.

Because I have once again over extended myself this weekend. Oy vey.

So tomorrow Jackson starts his first class in archery! He used to be really excited about this, but after I said I signed him up, his enthusiasm wasn't totally there. I am hoping that once he gets started and realizes he gets to shoot things he'll get more excited. After that, he gets to go to a birthday party for his classmate, and it's camping themed at a children's museum, so that'll be fun for him. And THEN we get to hustle home, get cleaned up, and then get him to his very first Blue & Gold Banquet for Boy Scouts. He's a Tiger Scout, and a super cute one no less, so we aren't sure what happens at these banquets, but he's hoping he gets some badges for his uniform. The nice thing is that now that we've been doing Boy Scouts for a few months, he's getting more eager to go each week. On Sunday Olivia gets to go to a roller skating birthday party for her friend.

In between all of this, I am going to finish getting Penelope's room ready. I'm so close! I have another cool picture to hang up on her wall that I got at my shower, and some organizing.

I also have to really buckle down and make some final lists on what I would like to have done and ready for when Penelope comes. I am starting to feel really overwhelmed with things I need to get done and it's dumb. It's totally pointless because none of it really matters yet I feel this overwhelming urge to get it all done.

Today we had a fun visit from my sister in law and my baby niece Adriana, who is so big and has the biggest cheeks. So adorable. She was a little fussy today and I think her crying scared Jackson a little bit. Olivia wasn't phased at all. But it also was kind of scary because though I've done this twice now, I'm kind of scared. I don't know that I feel ready for Penelope to come at all. I hate feeling like I'm not ready. I hate feeling like I'm walking into something blind.


My other tasks this weekend include reading two books for review AND working on my hypnobirthing. It's not going well. I don't feel relaxed at all while I'm doing it and I'm starting to feel like it's a useless cause. I wish I could have afforded an actual class versus doing it on my own, but that wasn't in the budget. So it's frustrating and a little nerve wracking. More on that soon.

What are YOUR plans for this weekend?

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Baby Shower!

You guys, I can't even tell you how great my baby shower. It was THAT great. To be honest, I went in thinking not many people were going to end up coming and I'd walk out with a couple of cute outfits. What I did not anticipate was my friends blowing me away and leaving there with a mini van full to the top (literally) of things resulting in several loads of goodies going up to Penelope's room.

I'm so used to not expecting much so I don't end up disappointed, and it was overwhelming to say the least.

Isn't this banner super cute? It looks just like the invite did. My friend Amy, the lead hostess, ordered it from VistaPrint. SUPER cute. I'm going to use part of it in a shadowbox for Penelope's room.
I got a ton of super cute clothes for Penelope. Oh, and Olivia was my gift note taker. She said she wanted a job to do and this was right up her alley. Granted, she phonetically spelled the gifts so writing thank you's was interesting. HA!

I had forgotten how tiny baby stuff was. I've purchased baby things for Penelope as well as my niece Adriana, but still. It's very overwhelming to realize a very tiny human is going to be here soon. 

Oh! And my friend Connie is a Scentsy consultant and she got Penelope a Lulu Lamb, who is incredibly SOFT and easily the sweetest thing ever. She has a little newborn satchel that goes in her so it'll (hopefully) induce Penelope into a peaceful sleep. AND Connie got me my own hard cover copy of Just Go The F*** To Sleep. That right there tells you that you have good friends. 

And my diaper cake! Which was displayed all pretty in Penelope's room for two whole days before Jackson could not help himself and unwrapped it. Then tried to tell me he totally was not the one who did it, it was definitely a cat. Unfortunately for him, he had tissue paper stuck to his sock and that's all the evidence I needed. SO, the cake itself is not standing, but the diapers are put away and the flowers are in a vase on her dresser.

Overall it was amazing. I got a TON of stuff. Afterwards I had gotten a few more things in the mail, a few friends are bringing me things they don't need/use anymore and are just giving it to me, and it's just really overwhelming. I keep using that word because I can't think of anything else that really sums up how I feel right now. I am so lucky to have such awesome friends and family that go out of their way and put a dent in their household budgets to get me a gift and to spoil Penelope.

And it wouldn't have happened had it not been for Amy, Tammy and Andrea. They all just worked so hard behind the scenes, kept me mostly in the dark, and did such a fantastic job. I'm a very lucky mama, that's for sure.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Week 30. Still kicking. Literally.

I know. I know I have been an absolutely slacker with blogging, but I swear, I have a good reason. Mostly exhaustion and nesting, and quite frankly, I feel like at week 30 I can use both of those and have it still be a legitimate excuse. Mostly because I all of a sudden feel this urge to get everything done. Literally, everything. Matt is getting really annoyed with it all but I firmly think if he just did the things I asked the first time (months ago), it wouldn't feel so rushed and stressful now.

But nooooooo, I'm just pregnant and hormonal, what do I know??

But week 30. Here we are.

Things about this week:

  • It really does feel like my vagina is angry because it hurts. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to lay down, it feels alright if I walk for a bit but then it hurts. No relief. It constantly feels like a bowling ball is trying to come out. Surprisingly, Penelope isn't low, she's clearly hanging out under my boobs and near my ribs. So that's kind of scary, because what if she's just a big baby? Maybe she can be in two places at once?! 
  • I'm only up 17 pounds this pregnancy, though I feel like that number should be around 50. Admittedly, with Olivia and Jackson I had only gained 15 pounds total with each of them, so Penelope is already breaking records. Again, that's scary. 
  • Did I mention I passed my glucose test?
  • Because that's important when I note that my love for Sweet Tart jelly beans is fierce and I love them so. 
  • I have nesting urges. It's not an all of the time feeling like with Olivia. I never had it with Jackson and maybe because I basically wasn't in any position to change anything and had gender neutral everything already so I felt ready. But with Penelope, I feel like I'm starting from scratch. But for most of the day, I feel fine. It's in the evening where I get this urge to start scrubbing something clean, folding her things, or I think whatever project we're working on needs to be done right NOW. 
  • I had my baby shower last weekend! It was amazing, I was totally spoiled and my friends did such a great job. I'll share more on that, and pictures, maybe tomorrow. 
  • So clearly I've been busy putting everything away and organizing. Then re-organizing. 
Overall? I feel really great. Sure I'm exhausted and my vagina hurts, but I really do feel great. I know it seems like I complain a lot, but I actually like being pregnant. I realize that the things I'm dealing with are minor and my body really is meant for birthing babies. It really doesn't need me to help it along, my girl parts collectively know what they are doing and just do it without me. 

With that being said, I'm debating when to start my maternity leave. Do I give myself to be home, alone, for a few weeks to get things done and feel OK once she comes? Or do I say screw it and just work until I go into labor? My doctor has been pretty non-committal though she is a fan of pregnant women relaxing as much as possible. So I don't know. I really do need to decide this week and just stick with it and get things in gear and I'm torn. 

As usual. 

But I've got 10 weeks left, 70 days, until my due date. Feels like a long time but I know in reality it's a blink of an eye. It'll go by very quickly. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

A Time to Leap

I am whipping through books lately and I don't want to jinx myself, but so far, they've all been pretty good!

A Time to Reap (The Legend of Carter Gabel #1)
A Time to Reap (The Legend of Carter Gabel, #1)
Pemberton Academy is not just a school, it’s a gathering place for the children of the future that are afflicted with Temporal Displacement and Telepathy; in short, time travelers and mind readers who have been diagnosed with this “disease.” The Academy is not all as it seems after an explosion nearly takes one of its classmates, but not before Carter Gabel rescues her by using an unknown symptom related to his described illness. An unsanctioned group called the Program begins taking notice as the two classmates exhibit stronger abilities when they are together. Carter's sense of reality begins to unwind as he learns more about his estranged father's involvement with it all. 

Carter will have to overcome the past of his father leaving, the present of an unknown adversary hunting him down and a future that seems to change with each decision he makes. He will have to learn who to trust out of the people in his life if he wants to conquer the looming notion that the government may be hunting him down because of his developing abilities.

I honestly didn't know what to expect with this book, but it's definitely a YA novel, set in the future, that keeps you hanging until the very last page. The really great thing is that even if you don't read any more of this series, you'd be OK. Sure, the book ends on a kind of cliff hanger, but it's not the kind where you're left screaming at the book, frantically looking for pages that aren't there and then cursing the author for making you wait god knows how long until the next book comes out. 

The book is about Carter, who knows he is a Leaper (in that he can leap to different times), but he's still trying to control his ability. Mainly so he doesn't keep leaping and ending up in his new time stark naked. What Carter doesn't realize is that he is far more powerful than his mother has led him to believe and all in a very short time he's expected to learn about his new abilities AND how to control them. Which isn't easy. Mostly because nobody fully knows what Carter is capable of. 

Carter's mom has special abilities and it seems like she's hiding big things from him and he's not sure what to think of that. His dad is MIA and seemingly took off once he found out Carter was a Leaper. Carter then gets approached by a sketchy Lord Ray (nice name, right??) and that throws everything into motion. Carter befriends Mo, a girl at his school who is just as strange as he is, and they quickly realize that together they harness far more power than they do apart. Cue teenage love story. 

But everything basically goes to hell once it's learned that Carter is super powerful and everyone is essentially out to recruit him for The Program. Which is how the Government "learns" and controls people with the varying types of power that Carter and Mo possess. Mo is useful, but it's Carter they really want. 

Overall? I really liked the book. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get into it, but by page 20 I was all in and couldn't put it down. On my Nook it clocked in at 186 pages and I flew through those rather quickly. I believe in paperback it is about 250 pages, but you won't have any trouble getting through it. It's a really fascinating YA novel with time travel elements and it is just starting to touch on the moral implications of tracking and controlling people who are maybe a bit stronger than the regular ol' human race. The bonus to this book is that currently on Amazon, you can get the Kindle version for $.99, so it's definitely an interesting read without a huge investment. I'd recommend this to basically anyone who likes a good YA novel, but it would be OK for late middle school/high school ages as well. 

Under pressure.

So it's week 29! I feel like this last week has gone the fastest of all of the weeks so to me, that feels like it's all going to snowball to a triumphant finish now.

  • I have gained 20 pounds this pregnancy total. Which, to be honest, is a lot. At least for me. With Olivia and Jackson I gained 15 pounds each with them. I guess the blessing here is that it is literally all in my stomach. I can still wear my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans, I'm not puffy or swollen anywhere (like I was with Olivia), and my face hasn't spread. Which happened more with Olivia than with Jackson. I think my issues with Olivia is I was pregnant mostly during warm months and I just retained water. 
  • I can still tie my shoes and shave my legs! I'm going to keep documenting this because so many women say they can't and I feel like they are totally milking it. Sure, depending on the shoe I have to get creative but I'm still rocking cute shoes. 
  • Oooh... except I bought these really cute shoes from Maurices that are slip on. I have almost nothing to wear with them but they were on clearance and I love them so. 
  • The most notable thing is all of the pressure. At my 28 week appointment last week she checked my cervix and all is well, locked up tight. BUT, she said she could tell there is a little more room which makes her think most of what I'm feeling is just stuff moving to accommodate being able to birth a baby down a tiny little hole. It essentially feels like I have been kicked in the vagina all day every day. It's really kind of awful. I never had that with Olivia, but Jackson I did only because he was head down, ready to go from week 24 or so all the way to the end. Penelope is not head down ready to go, she's a fan of sitting on my bladder, bouncing on it, and trying to push up into my boobs as often as she can. 
  • I passed my glucose test! I have literally no idea how I did that, but I don't care because yay for not being diabetic! Bring on the cake!
  • I start going to the doctor every two weeks now, so my next appointment is actually next week for week 30. I feel like it's going to start happening so fast now. Which is very exciting. 
  • My baby shower is this weekend and I am so excited. I basically am itching to buy baby things and it is so hard to not just free for all while in a store. I did register for it (that was super fun) and according to the website, I have 79 days until my due date. EEP! 
Overall though, I'm feeling good even though I'm exhausted. I'm not getting a second wind at all, I'm just trying to plug through the things I need to do before Penelope comes. The kids are super helpful and are really excited about her coming soon. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Why you absolutely should not see Fifty Shades of Grey with your husband.

Valentine's Day this year was a bit of a dud. I won't go into it, but let's just say, I really prepped him to do something extra lovable and it didn't happen.

And I feel a little sad about it, but I'm not going to dwell on it.

Instead, I'm going to focus on the fact I had really good cheese curds at our lunch date and that we got to go to a grown up movie. Matt agreed to go see Fifty Shades of Grey with me, mostly because I was going to go with or without  him and he didn't have anything better going on. Now, he obviously didn't read the books. I did. I know people say it's terribly written, it's abusive, it's dumb, it's the worst of the worst and to all of that I say- you are lame and stop killing my enjoyment.

Because I liked it. Best writing ever? No. But to be honest, there aren't many books I consider to be well written anymore so I can't fault E. L. James for that. Is it abusive? I guess that depends on how you view abuse. Knowing what Christian Grey's issues in life are, I understand why he does what he does. To me, it's logical. Maybe not ideal or smart, but it's logical. I don't view Anastasia as a wilting flower like Bella in the Twilight Saga because she demonstrates she has brains and free will. If anything, I feel like she's really calling the shots over Christian, it just might not be so obvious. And again, I think people are highly judgmental about the BDSM lifestyle as a whole and just throw this into the "totally unacceptable, that's not love" category. I'm more of a believer that as long as it's two consenting adults, it might not be my cup of tea, but flog away you love birds.


So we went to see the movie. Unfortunately, the only theater that still had available seats during the matinee was the Omnimax theater. Even better, we got the last two seats in the SECOND ROW.

Now, I don't know if you have been to an Omnimax theater, but it's a huge screen, it's curved and made to make you feel like you are really right there as whatever on the screen is happening. Which, normally super fun. Not super fun during a movie based on an erotica novel. Let's put it this way, I can tell you with 100% certainty that Dakota Johnson does not shave her thighs. She also has man feet and maybe needs to wear some face cream because her complexion is uneven. By a lot.

So we're watching the movie. And through the entire thing, Matt has gas. Like, he is farting uncontrollably. And despite how loud the damn sound was, you could clearly hear it. I feel so terrible for the people directly in front of him, I'm sure their jackets had to be washed. Secondly, he's asking me questions the entire time. "Wait- why does he need cable ties?", "How is he attracted to her? Why doesn't she brush her hair?", "Her friend sucks if she doesn't tell her she looks like a mess.", "Oh PLEASE, that isn't realistic.", "Wait- do you want to be flogged? We should talk about this at home.".

It was mortifying. Mostly because I'm pretty sure the people around us heard. And then I get up at the end and am clearly pregnant, with a bladder so full I can barely see straight. Because of course there was no time to pee before the show and by the time I realized we were on the brink of a bladder explosion, it was where the kinkery was starting to happen and I didn't want to get up like I was too prudish to watch.

Because if I'm anything, I'm not a prude.

Overall, the movie was alright. The story was good, it followed the book closely and I loved the cliff hanger ending. The filming of it was terrible. It's really on par with the first Twilight movie where it looked like a high school kid did it with his mom's camcorder from 1990 and edited it with free movie maker software on a Windows 95 PC. I mean, it was bad. Some of the dialogue was too much. In the book when Christian says "laters, baby", it's endearing and kind of cute. When it happens in the movie, it's awful and cheesy and doesn't seem to fit at all. Their email and text exchanges in the book were amusing, and in the movie again, it was cheesy. Which is hard because I'm not sure how they could have done it any differently without it being weird, but it came off as weird.

Then of course we get to the car and it's dead silent. Matt isn't sure what to think, but you could tell he totally wanted to ask me something. Eventually he just casually said, "So, that was interesting. I mean, I don't know if I could beat you but you know, I mean, yeah." HA! Yeah, Matt. Yeah.

The lesson learned here is that for the next movie, I'll just go on my own. Or with a friend.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Monday Musings

I'm going to try really hard to get myself back on track for blogging. I feel like if I could just get myself back onto a schedule, I'll be ready to go. So here are some things I'm thinking about:

Everything Baby! I am really getting excited about Penelope's arrival. Is it weird I'm even excited about being in labor? And delivering? I feel like this time around I'm so much more prepared and knowledgeable what I'm in for so I'm excited. A little scared about pain, but I feel like that's reasonable, But I'm so excited to meet Penelope. I want to know what she looks like and just snuggle her up.

Crafting. I'm seriously considering making things for my Etsy shop again. I kind of left it hanging, I got into a crafting rut, but I'm getting the itch again.

Work from home. I'm trying to figure out what I can do from home to generate income. I'm not looking for a ton of income, I just feel like I'd feel better if I was able to bring something in once Penelope is born. Ideally, I'd like to go back to work in the fall. I don't know if I can and find a reasonable day care. I thought about maybe watching other kids while I watched her, but I think maybe that would be too stressful for me? I don't know yet.

Learning. I really want to learn how to use Photoshop and learn HTML. There are so many cute blog things out there I'd like to try, but because I have zero skills in either of these things, I feel frustrated any time I try to tinker with it on my own. So I'm keeping my eye open for a continuing education class for one or both of them.

Shower! I have my baby shower this week and I am SO excited. Like ridiculously excited. I get to see a bunch of friends, family, and open cute baby things. And then I get to organize it all! The kids are very excited to come and are debating their outfits already. Which is adorable. But I am so excited. Who doesn't love a fun party?!

I'm feeling pretty good about life in general. I am worried I'll have to deal with post-partum depression when Penelope is born, but I'm hoping just doing my best and resting as much as I can will be helpful.