Well not really. I am the furtherst thing from jet-setting but I AM flying out today to Florida. Yes, yes- be jealous. It's ok- I won't judge you.
(maybe a little)
But yes- it's my first vacation in FIVE YEARS and for those of you trying to think back on what I was doing five years ago...honeymoon. That's right- Matt and I were having a virtually sexless honeymoon in Madeira Beach, FL because our room was super nasty and gross. Luckily, I wasn't a virgin so I wasn't disappointed. Because the beach was RIGHT THERE and we were having a ton of fun doing beach stuff. Well, swimming wasn't one of them because it was sting-ray mating season and all, and they were EVERYWHERE in the water. So yeah- no swimming here, but I did get to like...look at the water. And lovely it was.
But this time we are going to be in the water, hurricanes or not, and we're going to Disney for one day, again, hurricanes or not. The kids are pumped. They have really no clue what's going on but they see luggage (well one piece people, because I? Am a mother fucking packing champion. EVERYTHING is in one suitcase. It's ok to bow down now..) and they know luggage=trips. It also means mommy calling daddy stupid because he's gotten us lost again, mommy having a nervous breakdown from all of the screaming and kids getting as much shit fed to them to get them to stop crying. All in all, it's a win-win for them.
Wait? Are you crying? Oh it's ok love- I won't leave you completely for 9 DAYS, I will periodically post pictures of our wacky travels. Because guess what? They are guaranteed to be insane with us arriving in Tampa at midnight and all. (Oh yea, at some point I will detail the retardedness that is our itinerary)
Anywho- let's fill you in on this week. Guess what? I'm 80% sure I have H1N1. Yes! It sucks. I'm on day 3, and can move without my skin hurting. I went to work for two of those days to finish up what I had to do, and went to bed at 7 each night loaded up with NyQuil. Coincidentally, NyQuil no longer makes me sleepy. I've noticed that since having Jackson I've required what amounts to horse tranquilizers to get me to get drowsy. Which is why my oral surgery after Jackson was a nightmare.
Also, I went to the doctor for my annoying wrist pain. Guess what? I have arthrites, tendonitis, AND carpal tunnel. In both wrists. Left is worse than right. Super fucking duper yall! So...I am *supposed* to wear these ridiculous braces on both wrists 24/7 if possible. Yah..not doing that. I'll wear my left one when it really hurts but I can't fucking function like that. You should see me trying to eat, go to the bathroom, or work with these on. Seriously, I become DD and feel like I should have a helper with me. Because god knows what would happen to me. It's terrible. And driving?? I had to get them off with my teeth while driving on the highway back to work from the doctor because I couldn't steer. At all. I had to use elbows, and let me tell you- driving at 90 mph (I know...the limit is 70..shut up.) with your elbows? Kind of makes me a road hazard. But oh well.
So that's it lambs. :) I'm checking out until my next post, with pictures, and you will all get to marvel at my $103.99 swimsuit. It's lovely, I promise. It's all retro and cute. PLUS, I don't look like a fat whale in it, which is always a bonus.