Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dear...part one

Dear Lenny,
If you could stop eating Rosie's food and then puking it up in nice little surprise piles all over the place, that'd be super.

Thanks,
your mommy who yells at you daily for this.

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Dear Matt,
It would be really fantastic if you could put the kids' shoes and other outdoor gear all in one place. Let's be crazy and put it in the front porch where all the other outdoor stuff is. I'm really sick of searching for Jackson's lone shoe that can't be found. 20 minutes was wasted on this morning and he went to Grandma's with the snow boots he can barely walk in.

Sincerely,
The wife who thinks you are very lucky you aren't there in the morning because you may have died. Again.

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Dear Drivers,
I am not sure if you are aware that there are road laws put in place for a reason. I mean- green lights mean go. I expect you to go. And I realize you might be stumbling out of Jack's bar at 7am, but that's really no excuse for you to do 8 mph down a 35 mph stretch of road. SOME of us don't live off of welfare and disability. We have jobs. And we need to get there if you want us to continue to support you.

Sincerely,
The lady honking and screaming at you who is thankful her kids weren't in the car hearing what I was shouting.

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Dear laundry sink from the 1800's,

Your time is coming soon you big piece of shit. You need to start draining again and stop being a bitch because as soon as Christmas is over and the tax money comes- your lazy piece of shit ass is out of there.

Angrily,
Your master. Bow down.

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1 comment:

scrapperjen said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! I had one of those weeks last week - I COMPLETELY feel ya!
HUGS!