Sunday, June 28, 2009
I also have been really sick with some ridiculous version of a summer flu; however, the not eating for a week has really jump started my diet. Yay! I also have close to nothing for an appetite even still so we'll see if we can keep that. I guess that's the bonus for puking, huh? Oh- sorry for the person who lives on the corner of 58th and Banks- I am the one who puked in your lilac bush. Sorry- it was that or puke on myself and I didn't want to ruin my khakis shorts that FINALLY fit. Think of it as fertilizer.
More is coming- stay tuned!
I will start by saying this was not as hilarious as "Such A Pretty Fat" was for me, but I did like it and I did laugh out loud. Matt is truly sick of my reading at this point. This is basically about life in the big city and even though I live in little po'dunk Superior, Wisconsin- I can certainly understands her plights. My neighbors are also of varying degrees of crazy and I often think that you need to apply for some kind of license to own a home because I tell you- the people buying homes around me are idiots. Who paints their house bright ass blue with black trim? Who decorates their yard with numerous handmade lawn ornaments? And really- who told you it was a good idea to mount gigantic, unrealistic, creepy as shit butterflies to the side of your house?? It makes it look like the neighborhood is being swarmed by some freak bugs or something. Anyways- this is a fun summer read. :)
Bitter Is The New Black
OK- now this is her first book (I read them out of sequence and it didn't seem to matter) and it was hilarious. I laughed my ass off on this one. Now you know how much I love Jen, but in this book- she seemed more bitchy to me. Like maybe not as fun. I don't know. But I still love her and know that we could be a hilarious duo. Anywho- this is about how she went from living the high life to living in the ghetto with the Russian Construction crew "working" next door. It's her quest for a new job and learning the hard lessons of frivoulous spending, which I have yet to learn. This is a must read especially in these economic times because if you happen to be unemployed- it's uplifting to know that everyone is having a hard time finding a job. :)
Monday, June 22, 2009
You absolutely must read this book. It's basically the story of a group of women all from different backgrounds and at different points in their lives that somehow form the Friday Night Knitting Club. At the center is Georgia Walker and her daughter Dakota that run the store and Georgia is a reluctant member of the club. Her mentor, Anita, kind of guides Georgia into the club and basically is winds from there. I must tell you two things: A). I had a hard time getting into it, but I'm glad I stuck with it. and B.) I cried like a mother fucking baby at the end. I am so serious- I cried, had to locate a box of Klennex and blow my nose like I had a sinus infection. I scared my cat, I blubbered to Matt like these were real people and of course he didn't give a damn. You really need to read this because it's such a great story about women and how important it is to just have a group of ladies to have there, even if you aren't great friends or close in any way. It also is a great story about forgiveness and how to put things into perspective. And guess what??? I see there is the sequel coming out in November. WOOT!!! You know I'm all about sequels. :) HAHA!!
Stayed tuned for my review of "Bright Lights, Big Ass" and "Bitter Is The New Black" by Jen Lancaster as well as the True Blood DVD series one set which Target has finally gotten in. Thank you rain check for allowing me to purchase it at 51% off now that their sale is over.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I would like to think I'm going to be somewhere in the middle. I'm only 27 (although I feel 30 already) and as I look back over the 7 years I've spent in my 20's I realize what a loser I am. Do you realize that I was married when I was 22? I had my first baby at 23? Yeah- so I never got to do the "get drunk and make an ass out of myself" phase. I also never got to do that "do stupid stuff to get it out of my system" phase either. Not that I want to do those things, mind you. But I have been kind of developing this list for awhile, but it isn't completed. Some things I have actually done knowing they were on my list so yay me- I'm ahead! But here's what I have so far:
1. Kayaking (DONE!!!)
3. Write a Book
4. Learn to Play Piano
5. Go on a girls only road trip far away
6. Snorkle without drowning (I've tried before and almost died in 3 feet of water- embarrassing)
7. Take my kids to Disney in Florida
OK, so that's lame but that's all I have. Any suggestions? need them!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
It was supposed to be a fun, relaxing trip for Matt and I. We don't spend much time together and I really hoped this would help us connect again, celebrate 5 years of marriage, and remember why we fell in love. None of that happened. Instead, we screamed at each other in a kayak with strangers laughing their asses off at us. There's a reason these are nicknamed the "divorce boats". Seriously. It started innocently enough. We woke up so fucking early after going to bed way to damn late. We met Tammy & Chad at Perkins for breakfast. Here's us leaving our house:
the view from the Trek & Trail place
So we get to the beach and get in a circle to do the paddle lessons. It's pretty straight forward and we're told that we will get a rudder because it's easier for beginners than trying to learn all the strokes on how to turn your kayak. I'm all about easy. So we decide who's in front (Matt) and who's in back (me). I get to steer since I'm in back with these foot peddles (again, easy) but Matt sets the rowing pace since he's in front. I thought this was smart since he has more upper body strength than I do. My arms are pure decoration- they have no muscle mass. This turned out to be a VERY dumb decision on my part.
We were the second kayak to get pushed into the water. I'm watching how other people did it, and it seems easy. Nobody else struggled. Within minutes, Matt almost capsizes us four times and can't row. Seriously. He's a fucking idiot. I figure out very quickly several things:
At this point, we are very far away from the rest of the group, going further out into the open lake and Matt is paddling like a fucking retard. No rhythm, no real technique here. At this point, I loose it. I'm screaming at him the following things:
I have more, but for the sake of time I won't post them all. The caves are spectacular. I really do recommend doing this trip if you are in the Northern Wisconsin area because it's amazing. I just don't recommend going with your spouse.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
and here's a picture from the side so you can the dimension in the butterfly and paper:
Cross your fingers that I either win (which would be AWESOME) or I at least get to be a finalist (equally cool!!!). Thanks for looking!!
Monday, June 1, 2009
So I watched and I was so excited. Plus, the performances from Eminiem and Kings of Leon were really good too so that was just a bonus. After Robert and Cam Gigadet won the award for Best Fight- I literally lost my shit. OK, so I didn't poop everywhere but I was bouncing on my chair (which cost me $500 when I bought it two years ago) and it busted. Like I heard something snap. Matt was pissed when we took off the bottom and realized that not only were the springs ruined, but the board that is like the bottom of the chair snapped. Luckily, Matt has so much crap in the garage he was able to fix it... kind of. It's not as comfortable, but it works. So after breaking the chair I just had to have, Matt told me I had to sit on the floor. Well, that sucks because I feel like a kindergartner getting ready for Sesame Street, so I sat on my exercise ball. This was ingenious because I got a GREAT workout by bouncing like a lunatic everytime they won. It also reinforces the fact that I need to lose some weight. When you break furniture with your ass, that's never a good thing.
I also laughed hysterically when loser Kristen Stewart DROPPED HER AWARD after winning the female performance. How she won, I'll never know, because she sucks.
OH!!! And when Twilight won best movie- I swear Catherine Hardwicke (the Director) was totally drunk accepting the award. She slurred it and tried getting everyone to say "Stephanie Meyers" (the author) at the same time and only like two people did, and the rest looked really uncomfortable being up there with her and her crazy. And I'm sorry- but what the hell was she wearing? What the hell was KStew wearing? Really? A miniskirt with sneakers???We get it, you are punk rock and so much cooler than the rest of us. At least brush your damn hair.
So enough of my crazy ranting. Thought you'd enjoy a topless picture of Robert. Isn't her gorgeous? Seriously- I would hit that. :) LOL!!