Sunday, February 21, 2010

A Surprisingly Fun Weekend. (aka do they like me or not?)

Lamb whores- I bet you thought I was kidnapped by the interweb perverts, didn't you??


Well I wasn't.

(YAY!!)

But I did have a surprisingly busy but fun weekend that was kind of confusing. On Friday my brother and I took my kids out for lunch, he got them new movies while I bought the new John Mayer cd (stop rolling your fucking eyes and judging me) at Best Buy. We decided that we were going to go shopping just him and I on Saturday.
So Saturday comes and usually Travis flakes out on me or something but this time he actually came and we left for the mall. I bought really super duper cute shoes (two pairs..but Matt only knows about the one. SSSSHHHH) but of the two my brand new black/gray plaid VANS are the best. They are so cool. I will try to take a picture sometime for ya. But Travis bought a few things and after about 2 hours we decided we're hungry. Since our mall has gone ghetto we no longer have a decent food court. Everything up in there will make you spend quality time with a toilet later and since I had plans for Saturday night (rare, exciting..yee haw) that just couldn't happen. There is a restaurant near the mall called Grizzly's which I actually like and it's usually the lunch spot my pal Lisa & I meet when we do out monthly lunch dates.
But the waitress hated me. I am convinced she hated me. I was super polite when she came to our table, used my manners, etc but that fucking bitch hated me. I had ordered a cheeseburger (super well done) with fries but I wanted my salad (containing lettuce only) first. Travis ordered some weird thing I'd never eat with an appetizer. He got his appetizer but I didn't get my salad. So I thought, "Well I'm obviously going to get it with my meal which will fuck up the fung shui of my meal, but whatevs."
No. Bitch never brought my salad out. And since I absolutely hate, hate, hate correcting waitresses because I know from working at Dairy Queen that they will screw with your food- I say nothing. Finally after Travis got his refill while my Pepsi had been gone for a good 10 minutes, she takes my glass to get me a refill. But it isn't Pepsi and to be honest, I have no idea what was up in there. But I didn't drink any more than the one sip.
So our bill comes and on the receipt (and I'm sorry the picture was blurry so I didn't post) it clearly says "Don't Make" under the charge for my salad. What the fuck?? But I'm still getting charged the $3.99 for it. Nice. She comes back asking if we need change and my brother just says, "Um no- we need a new bill" and talks about my salad.
I heart Travis.
So we get the new bill, with the salad taken off. But here's what we left her for tip:
(turn your head to the right to read it...sorry) Bitch got no tip.
So then on the way home we also stopped at Target where Travis impulsively bought a 32 inch LCD tv. Thank god I drove because it fit in the back of my van (which is sweet because I can fit a LOT back there and now that I know how much stuff I can buy in one trip and carry home--I will always have a large vehicle. So handy.) I got to see the house him and his friend Phil is renting. Travis informed me they are pretty sure they have a dead animal in the dryer which kind of explains the weird smell over on that side of the place. But it's really nice for two guys living there. They also have no food. It looks like I need to stock them up on oatmeal pies and the 5pound bucket of cheese balls since those are their favorites and they are out.
On the way back to my house so Trav could get his car- we were behind this asshole. Something actually flew out of his open trunk. How do you not know you have shit flying out of your car?
Fun fact- Travis works at this Tires Plus, too. :)
So after I got home I decided I wasn't cooking. Shopping for things you don't need is really hard work. Matt, me and the kids went out for dinner and then when we got home it was time for them to go to bed and time for me to get ready for my friend Jennie's birthday party.
I got a ride with Jennie and Scott since I can't drive in downtown Duluth to save my fucking life even though I've lived here since I was 14 or so. Don't judge me. But I also can't parallel park and am scared of parking ramps (more on that in a future post) so I just need to ride with people. So we (Jennie, Scott, me, Debbie, Darren, Kelly and Jesse) (and I know these people, but have never actually hung out with them because they are Jennie's friends) wento Dubhlinn's Pub which was really nice. I had never been there before but they do a comedy night so we were going to the 9pm one so I was looking forward to that.
I did think it was weird that I didn't get carded. But whatevs. The bar was PACKED. I was a little worried when yeah- they had country music on. Now before you starting throwing your haterade at me- I don't HATE country. I'm just not a fan of jamming out to it at a bar. I actually felt really good despite being tired and I knew I wasn't going to be drinking so it was fine.
I will say that I am not going to put all that happened during my night out for a few reasons, so sorry- but deal.
So here is (left to right) Debbie, Kelly, ME, Jennie waiting for the comedians to start.
The comedians were blah. The first guy sucked pretty bad. He was probably drunk already. The second guy was ok but his skit was basically about being high. The third guy was the best even though he talked about sex and penis stuff the whole time. So after the comedians were done, we headed out back into the bar areas and waited for a few of the guys to finish their drinks. When we walked out I spotted a really cute guy just chilling, at the table next to ours. He kept staring at me and if I looked at him he'd turn away. We sat at the table for about 20 or 30 minutes and he literally stared at me the whole time. Kind of flattering.

Then on the way out Scott (who was behind me when we left) told me the bouncer guy was checking me out. Again, flattering. But before we left we decided to go to a bar in Superior to end out night. Now, the thing about Duluth is that there is no smoking allowed in any building. Nice. So you can be in the bar and it's not smoky and you don't feel like you are going to pass out from it all. In Superior...our smoking ban doesn't kick in until this summer. That kind of sucks.

The next bar? Well ladies and gents it was The Flame. Which you can assume from the name is a gay bar. Scott and Darren were hesitant at first but you know- birthday girl rules.

So here are the four girls in front of the really cheesy "water wall" that literally everybody who walked by had to touch.

The bar was kind of lame. I hate to say it but it was. It wasn't packed at all, there couldn't have been more than 40 or 50 people in there. But it was super smoky. The DJ was really awful. I mean I could have put on a better mix with my iPod than this chick. We had TLC's "No Scrubs" mixed in with Backstreet Boys, Michael Jackson, etc. I get it's a gay bar but shit. I literally felt like I was at a highschool dance from 9th or 10th grade.

Birthday girl and me. I am getting a bit tired at this point, it's almost midnight but I decided I was going to hold out. Plus hi--they were my ride. And even though I don't drink I had a lot of fun hanging out and listening to music. Even crappy music since I have been banned from rocking out at home by Matt who says he's sick of it. Whatevs, fucker.

Probably the funniest thing in the bar was the Michael Jackson picture. I mean really- that picture is the shit nightmares are made from. And I have a thing for bars. I like bars that are pretty. Like DubhLinn's was beautiful. Beautiful glass walls with bottles to the ceiling. I just think it's pretty. One time in Madeline Island, WI we went to a restaurant with a bar that was literally out of the 1940's. But this place?? My friend's basement looked better in high school.

But the highlight was this chick. No, not me. The red beast behind me. This girl has absolutely no fucking business wearing anything topless let alone this piece. (Sales people? When you see a really huge person buying a really too small piece of clothing- please say something. This shit ain't right). Anyhoodle. So this girl is also wearing some form of short leggings with a pair of heeled flip flops with her feet bulging out. And you remember my issues with feet, right? So yeah this girl and her assumed girlfriend (who was more butch than Matt could ever be) were literally grinding on the dancefloor.

Folks- it was traumatizing.

But in this picture she is of course, bitching her girlfriend about looking at someone. Or the water wall. Who knows. But when we left they were making out so I assumed it ended well.

It was a good night overall. I was texting a few people looking for laughs but then everyone ditched me for sleep. You bastards. ;) Just kidding, lambs! But it was fun to get out for a bit. Hopefully I get to do it again soon because I had a good time. Things I learned? My ass is still well liked by barwhores and my new boots got me stares from other jealous bitches. Whether they hurt my feet or not- the stares from jealous bitches makes it easier to ignore the piercing pain in my calves. :)

16 comments:

Steph said...

Ha! Sounds like you had a good night.

I like the beast!!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

UMM, yeah, that girl in red is ummm. Interesting.

Ok, so. From my years of waitressing, when you see don't make under something (i'm surprised that came out on the bill, usually just on the kitchen's ticket)it's because the server will do it herself and she doesn't want the kitchen to make a duplicate. Since you only wanted lettuce, it would have taken longer to modify in the computer than just doing it herself.

Sucks that she forgot it though. I would imagine it wasn't intentional and she wont forget to bring out a salad any time in the future after this!! LOL

Ok, so yeah, that's me being annoying about my waiting tables knowledge.

Fuegita said...

Sounds like an awesome day! That was really shitty of the waitress. Why would you put "don't make" on the ticket and still charge someone? "Yea I don't really want this salad but I wanna pay you for it anyway"
I used to have a friend like that girl in red, that was huge and wear stuff like that. They actually think they look good, while we are trying not to puke. Her aunt bought her clothes that actually fit once and wouldn't wear them.

Anonymous said...

Do you realize that servers, no matter how ppor they are don't even make min. wage. They usualy make about $2.50/hr and depend on tips to make up the rest. I understand that there is NO excuse for poor service, then tip only 5% instead of 15% or 20%. Sevrice is NEVER poor enough not the leave a tip.

Smart Ass Sara said...

@Steph- Yeah, it was fun!! :)

@Monique- Yup, I knew that too from knowing people who work at that restaurant. This chick hated me from the word go. I *suspect* it's a previous gf of my brother's that he doesn't remember. Scary.

@Anonymous- um, yah---it's not that hard to do your job. If you can't be nice to everyone and do your job...waitressing isn't your calling. Poor service = no tip. And usually I am a great tipper but if I ask for something, I want it.

@Fuegita- You know as a person who isn't a skinny mini I know what doesn't look good on me. I have friends that will say, "Sara you look like shit" and it's like yes! Thank you for not letting me go out and embarrass myself. With that, I also think I look good for not being a skinny mini but dang. You will not see me out in ho material. Ever.

Angela said...

I am terrified of bugging waiters/waitresses after watching "Waiting". All I can ever think about is what they might be doing to my food back there.
As for The Red Beast...there's always one of them when you're out, isn't there? They're the life of the party after all. Or at least, they make for good blog content.

xoxoKrysten said...

Generally I don't bother a waiter or waitress unless something is REALLY wrong. Not because I'm worried they'll mess with my food (I've been a waitress and I THINK most wait staff wouldn't do that) but because their job is hard enough.

However I AM glad you left the little note explaining why she got no tip. I've gotten stiffed a few times and it was always on tables where I thought, "What the heck did I do!?!?!?"

Chicken said...

I personally am insulted that I wasn't invited for the night out. I mean I would've flown on a red eye for the festivities. I've decided that the waitress was Chucky Wuolu's bride.

Jill said...

lol sounds like fun
I don't like to disclose a lot about my nights out either...weird stuff always seems to happen to my friends and I.

Mr O said...

I like the first song on your playlist, effing awesomeness.

I'm not sure whether or not I like your "tip" but I did laugh. So I guess that means a like.

And when I first saw the pic, first thing I noticed was the lady in red. What a story.

And to sum up comments from the last two posts, who the hell asks that kind of stuff? Some of that shit was just plain weird...

Smart Ass Sara said...

@Angela- I saw that video. That freaks me out.

@Krysten- I dig you. :)

@Chicken- Guuurrll...you have a permanent invitation!

@Jill- yeah- "interesting" stuff happens to me a lot. I'm kind of used to it now.

@MrO- have some faith in my musical tastes. :) It's my fav Anberlin song. And you should know by now I attract freaks who all now have my email. Dandy. Travis paid the bill (and non tip)...not me.

Juliana said...

Well your pictures are great even though the service SUCKED! That was really nice of you to leave a note. I am now following from 2Osb..hope you will follow back
Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog

Sam said...

The beast is so much fun looking! I love the things you see in gay bars. Titey Whitey night is at a gay bar here in Orlando and my boss(straight) and a bunch of his cronies(straight) go to the bar in their titey whiteys to get drinks cheap. These are the obese guys you heard about. Amazing the things people do in public.

Melissa Leah said...

haha that last pic with the girl is funny...I wonder everyday why people do not own a full length mirror to see that they like a hot damn mess

Super Girl said...

I just wanted to say that I agree with Annon, who said that there is NO excus for not tiping, and here with the evidence.

http://customsites.yahoo.com/financiallyfit/finance/article-108915-4280-1-when-to-tip----and-how-much?ywaad=ad0035

Restaurant Servers -- Suggested Tip: 15% of Pretax Bill
Restaurant workers are part of a unique group, in that their minimum wage is $2.13 per hour. The low wage has been set since 1991, with the reasoning that tips will help bring workers up to, or above, minimum wage. So, tips for servers are not additional pay, they're how these workers makes a living!
Assuming you've received adequate service, the standard tip for servers is 15%; outstanding service should be rewarded with a 20% tip. Contrary to popular belief, bad service is no excuse to completely skip the tip. Even when the level of service is poor, experts recommend leaving no less than 10%.

Smart Ass Sara said...

@Sam & Melissa Leah- I hope if I ever got to be that fat I'd have that kind of confidence. Not that I'd wear that, but still. Go her.

@Super Girl- I completely disagree. I don't care what kind of job you have, whether you are a waitress, work in an office (like me), or work at Walmart, if you can't do your job you should not be there. I know in my MANY years working at LOTS of food places that if I ever treated a customer like that- my ass would be fired. No tip would be the least of my worries. And you know what? I don't feel like I have to tip somebody who is rude, doesn't bring out half of what I ordered yet still tries to charge me for it, and serves me the wrong drink. DO.YOUR.JOB. Sure, during busy meal times it's easy to get mixed up/behind. Understandable. What isn't understandable is a server being too busy texting behind the counter to do their job. Sorry, no tip. She's lucky I didn't speak to a manager because I will totally do that.