Monday, February 15, 2010

Week One Weigh In/Progress Report AND...The Boots and The Dress

Lamb whores! Yay! So if you weren't paying attention earlier and are a member of 20somethingbloggers you need to vote for me. Because I'm cute, funny, and your lamb whore leader. Right?? Yes, of course.

But onto this evening's post. You'll recall that I have started a love-hate relationship with my fuckmill. Yes, of course you remember. And you'll remember from this post what my weight was not too far before that. So now you are caught up. But before I give you the number of my this week let's recap what activity I've had, shall we?

In 30 minutes a night I've gone (as far as distance)

Saturday 2/6: 1.5 miles
Sunday 2/7: 1.5 miles
Monday 2/8: 1.5 miles (even though my face felt like it was going to fall off from earlier dentist visit)
Tuesday: 1.576 miles
Wednesday: 0. I was a fat ass that day
Thursday: 1.567 miles (even though I went to the hospital to visit my friend and her new baby. Whom I've thought about stealing. He's THAT cute.)
Friday: 0. Again, I was a fat ass but I was on a date and didn't eat much all day. That counts.
Saturday: 1.753 (thought I was going to die walking at a 3.4 mph pace)
Sunday: 1.779 (thought I was having a heart attack because like an idiot I tried 3.8. Not good)


We also need to take into account my food this week. I ate like shit for lunch. As usual. But I also eat little the rest of the day. So today for instance. I had exactly 2 almonds for breakfast, water, 12 ounces of Pepsi, two slices of pizza, and more water. I'm starving. But I also realize I'm probably at a million calories because of my pizza. So I'm really hungry. I've been hungry all week.

So without further ado.. the number this week is: 174. What does this mean, lamb whores? It means since my last post about weight (January 23) have lost 5.2 pounds. And from where I started my first half ass attempt at doing anything I've lost 9.6 pounds. Um yay. I'm almost to my first goal of 15 pounds. Totally do-able.


I also notice I am STARVING after I exercise. Like I am dying for a mother fucking taco and some god damn potato oles but it just isn't happening. BECAUSE....


I BOUGHT MY FAT GIRL BOOTS! And a dress to match. You'll recall on my date I was on the quest for some hot boots but discovered I'm not skinny and my calves are apparently not skinny and then I almost had a breakdown in the shoe store?? Well I didn't mention that part. But it's true. I was sad for me and my apparent fat legs.

Well bow down bitches to my new boots!


You're jealous aren't you? You should be. I am going to be the mother effing hotness in these. AND I found a dress!

You may not realize this about me but I *adore* wearing skirts and dresses. I have a hard time finding ones that look cute because I'm short (I'm only 5'3 yall....and no--don't check my BMI. I already know. Thanks.) But this one I tried on and it's fabulous. Jennie tells me that this is supposed to be worn with leggins (which are awful, hideous and NOBODY should wear them. I don't care how skinny you are. You look like a Walmart Princess. I don't care how much you spent on them). But since I'm short it comes to just below my knees. It's cute. And my boobs look fabulous. I don't think we'll have any accidental pop-outs. Which is a bonus. AND I look like a skinny mini. To me at least. But I like it, and I look great.

But I can wear my new boots (Zappos assures me they are on their way..) or some heels. Versatile. Loves it.

So now that I have my boots I need a hot pair of jeans and a shirt I can rip up. Yes, I buy clothes at full price to often mutilate them. I am going to be the hottest chick in the balcony above the balcony behind the stage at the MUSE concert in Chicago. It'll make up for our shit-tastic tickets. Yay.

By far the hardest part of the weight loss is staying on the fuckmill the entire time, trying to go further and faster, and not eating a ton of pasta. Pasta is my weakness. (And let's be real- the crispy chicken sandwich with no mayo, large fry and coke from Wendy's is too.) Tomorrow we're having spaghetti (which I make killer spaghetti...) and so I have to limit myself to a small portion. (insert sad face here)

The other hard part is really no encouragement from the hubs. He really could care less. Except the fuckmill is loud (not my fault) and it interferes with his stupid john deere computer game.

I should say here that I am seeing progress. Some pants are already looser, some shirts are looser, I'm for sure a 36D bra (went down from sometimes a 38D depending on bra), and my thighs are firmer. So it my ass. My calves are the hotness. Progress is good. Even if I do feel like I'm going to puke all over my bed when I'm done.

17 comments:

Chicken said...

Wooo Wooo where is a fireman when you need him because you're on FIRE! You have given me a mean case of envy this evening. I envy your dress and I envy your Muse tickets...not to mention the weight loss. I was a total fat ass tonight and enjoyed a Russell Stover marshmellow chocolate heart...I hate myself.You've inspired me to get back to the gym tomorrow.

Lilly said...

Good for you! But yeah, I know, sometimes I am so hungry after working out I could eat a cow. With lots of french fries. But I learned something cool the other day- supposedly chocolate milk is a good post-exercise recovery aid. It replenishes your body with much needed carbs and vitamins. So it might not be a big fat steak or potatoes, but it's something that feels kinda like junk food, and half the battle is just training your mind. Here's the link if you are interested:

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/recipes/healthy-eating/superfoods/chocolate-milk-after-workout/

This made me really happy so I thought I would share.

FinnyKnits said...

Hot boots! A good reward for not barfing on the bed.

The Ashes said...

I got Reebok EasyTone sneakers for Christmas, thinking I'd tone up my butt and thighs with them... except I didn't take into consideration that I'd be student teaching and therefore wearing dress shoes and NOT my sneakers for the rest of my life.
Mega fail.
I need a treadmill!

Also, here's my blog address, because your comment commentary asks for it... www.justtheashes.com

Nyx said...

Go you! I need to start busting some of the poundage that's collected around the thigh...stomach...breast (ok, not too angry about that one)...areas.

We won't go into my arm-fat issues.

Oy. I like eating far too much to be skinny, apparently. I didn't want to spend the money on a fuckmill - I rationalized it by thinking "oh, I can just go outside to jog!"

...outside is now covered by three feet of snow. I don't have a winter coat, because (again...me being a cheap ass) I figured that I shouldn't spend the money on it because hey...it never snows all that much in DE! WRONG.

Anyways, congrats again!! WOO!! And that dress? Gorgeous. I have a similar one in a green/black floral (I know it sounds old lady, but it's not...more asian inspired than anything else). I'll have to see if I can dig out any pics of me in it :)

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Wtg!!

Valentine Devlieghere said...

You have a great blog!
Best of luck! ;)

Follow me if you want on http://ptitevalentine-be.blogspot.com/

x Valentine

Amber said...

Congrats on the weight loss! So awesome! Another thing you might consider doing is taking your measurements instead of just weight.( chest, waist, hips, thigh, bicep ) Sometimes you will see improvements with your measurements but not so much on the scale. Also, if you are looking of a way to track your food and workouts www.livestrong.com is amazing for that it's super easy. Keep up the good work!

Organic Meatbag said...

Fuck...with boots like those, I think you're about ready to join KISS!

Mr O said...

Please don't give up at ALL, I want to see this goal MET! It gives me motivation to get off my ass and do something.

And I hope if your husband has no encouragement, at least some of your friends do. Sometimes, I need that extra motivation.

I would plan ahead for the post mill workout. Grab some granola bars or something to that effect.

Good luck with this!

Smart Ass Sara said...

@Chicken--do you have any of the marshmallow heart left??

@Lilly-- I forgot to post on my picky eater list that I don't really *do* milk. I mean I can, but once I start remembering that it came from a cow and then I think "wow- this is like drinking cow ejaculate" even though it really isn't..yeah. GAG city.

@TheAshes- do those shoes for real work??

@Nyx & Julie- arm fat is the next step. Fat girls rejoice!

@Valentine-thanks@

@Amber-measurements are coming. Soon.

@Meatbag- ass kickers unite!

@MrO- someone told me granola bars are bad. If they aren't and I've been depriving myself of a Sweet & Salty Peanut Bar for 2 months I'm going to be PISSED. ;)

krymeariver said...

I need to get some fat girl boots. You go with your progress. I am in the same boat but I have a looong way to go. Good luck!

Morgan said...

Sara, you can pig out and lose weight! It works so well, I wonder why I don't do it again... (probably because i'm lazy)

Eat 5 - 6 times a day.
breakfast - egg whites with veggies, or grapefruit and some turkey bacon, oatmeal with fruit & nuts
Lunch - small portion of lean protein, huge portion of green veggies, and a small portion of carb - 3 oz chicken, 1-2 cups brocolli, and a small red potato
Dinner - same ratio to lunch
Snacks - 1-2 cups greens and 3 oz lean protein - spinach salad with turkey
After dinner option - berries

This is the basic menu for Michael Thurman's (sp?) 6-week Body Makeover. I lost 20 in less than 6 weeks with barely working out. The philosophy is lean protein, fresh veggies, no processed foods (i.e., if it didn't look that way when farmed or harvested, don't eat it), and stay away from cheese, creams, fatty dressings, and butter.

Try it for a week, you'll be surprised at how sick of food you can be! lol

Great job so far!!!!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

those boots are sexy, love 'em!

crazymaisey said...

Wow, that dress is just beyond cuteness. I love it. The boots are pretty hot too. I also have a problem fitting into "apparently normal" boots. It`s so frustrating when I spot a great pair of boots, only to discover they would only fit the calf of a yorkshire terrier!
I`m loving your blog. I`ll return in a while once I get the youngest 3 asleep.
Best wishes, Crazy xx

jprp said...

well done you! HOT boots missy! damn, youve made me jealous, Ive gotta get on the black boots today! xx

Christina Thomas said...

Hot dress!!

WAY TO GO ON THE WEIGHT LOSS! Keep it up!