Sunday, March 14, 2010

Muse Concert and Chicago Slut

Lambs and Goats I have almost an entire week of Chicago related posts for you so get ready. And by the end of the week you too can be a Chicago slut. Just like me. For my Chicago cherry has been popped, I saw Muse, Chicago traffic is my bitch, I didn't kill anyone, met a midget who would not let me take her picture, ate fab pizza, and made friends with picketers. And cabbies who speaky no English.

A success if there ever was one.

So let's talk about the drive first, mmkay? We left Superior at 7 am, an hour later than I had planned. It's a 9 hour drive (according to MapQuest) from Superior to Chicago. (Look at a map to understand my struggle), with a stop in Chippewa Falls, WI to get Karl & Dena. (Karl is Matt's brother, Dena is his girlfriend). What would *normally* be a 2 1/2 hour drive was done in 1 1/2 hours.
That's right. I'm STILL the champion at driving to places in record speed.
Once we got in Chicago I was worried. Literally EVERYBODY was like, "Oh my god- you are so stupid...Chicago traffic is HORRIBLE." Well, yeah, it sucks because it's like five lanes going the same way and a lot of cars. But it's doable. Please know I was taught how to drive by an over the road truck driver with a totally clean driving record. It helps.

But you see the car on the left of this picture? With only the window brake light? I almost rear ended her a million times. Because the light would come on only after her brakes had been applied for a few seconds so driving behind her for 45 minutes in bumper to bumper is kind of a nightmare. But I want you to know Chicago traffic became my bitch when I successfully crossed 5 lanes of traffic without hitting anyone, without getting hit myself, no horns or fingers were used and I made my exit on time. That's right folks. Just like this maroon car is doing--you just go. You don't even need a blinker, but it helps psychologically. Like I'm pretty sure nobody saw my blinker, but because I knew I had it on it made me feel better cutting people off.
So once we checked into our hotel, the Wyndham Downtown, we got ready (and I looked hot. I am not even going to lie. The outfit was hot, the boots looked good, my hair and makeup was hot..it was like the perfect storm for hotness) we went to have some authentic Chicago pizza. So we went to Gino's East- and you write on the walls. Or furniture. Unfortunately- we didn't have a sharpie. Or white out. BUMMER.
So here is Karl & Dena at Gino's. I have to say - we had a FABULOUS waiter. And I'm pretty sure we were sitting next to the long lost fourth Jonas brother. Because he had the signature ugly ass hair.
Here's our pizza. It was FABULOUS. It doesn't look good but believe me- it was worth the 9 hour drive.
Matt and I waiting for our bill. Is it just me, or does Matt look like he's either drunk or a creeper? I can assure you no drinky was had. Yet. But there's me--hair and makeup holding out nicely despite the wind.
So then we hopped in a cab to get our asses to the United Center. The cabbie had a bizarre accent but kept referring to us as his friends. Which was weird because he was a terrible driver (but ended up being better than the guy we'd eventually get later on) and I thought we were going to die. I don't know about you, but I try to keep my friends alive.
We got there with 45 minutes to spare. So here is me, getting ready to do the damn thing up in there. You'll see the leg of the chick behind me who was so nice and jammed out with me for like two songs. More on that in a bit.
I know I mentioned to some people that my seats were supposed to be horrible. We were the balcony above the balcony, behind the stage with an obstructed view.

(Moment of silence for the big moment of SADS there)

And when I saw the stage, I texted a pic to Mr. O, who sadly could not be with me because he's like a million miles away, who helpfully replied with "That's great...but isn't that BEHIND the stage?" Um..yes. But I figured it was still going to be awesome because we were by all the sound equipment and you know a concert sucks when you still have full hearing afterwards. I was pretty convinced I'd be deaf. Bonus.
For those of you who follow me on FB you'll notice I posted about drinking. Now, for those who don't know me in real life, I don't drink. I used to, but I don't drink at all now. But for some reason, I felt like maybe I'd need a little drinky drink so I made Matt go get me a drink. He comes back with this fruity thing in a GIANT cup. Two sips later and I realize that this is 90% rum with a little pineapple juice. Two things I hate- rum and pineapple juice. So after two sips (which weren't super small) I was dizzy and I felt like my throat was on fire. Disgusting. So I gave the rest to Karl. Matt, the veteran drinker and former man-whore, couldn't drink it either. Which was nice because I didn't feel like such a drink pussy about that. So there's my two sips of drinkity drink. Lame.
So when Silversun Pickups came on the columns were like TV's. Kind of. We saw their pics on it but basically couldn't see the band because you only saw their face. They sounded good and had GREAT interaction with the crowd. And since Mr. O was the ONLY person to pick up their fucking phone, Mr. O was the ONLY person to hear like a minute of Silver. He guessed which song they had, so it must have been decent enough reception.
They played for about 45 minutes, which was most of their newest album, Swoon. They were really good and they remind me of the Smashing Pumpkins a lot.

After Silver I decided I had to pee. Like bad. So I wait in line for the bathroom for 10 minutes, get in and realize the seat is full of piss. Like someone thought the toilet was a urinal and just pissed EVERYWHERE. And the bonus here is that there is no toilet paper. But never fear- this bitch had her wet wipes and thank god for that. So I peed with the luxury of knowing I was able to wipe up and didn't have to dig for a receipt in my purse. I felt vindicated and that was super.

So then the lights go out and it starts. Mother fucking MUSE, bitches.

And our seats turned out to be some of the best in the house because the columns? Were part of the stage! So this is during "Uprising" and I called Mr. O who I think heard some of it, but I can't remember or not. I was too busy rocking out and screaming like a freak.

They played so well and every song was so amazing. It is probably my #2 fav concert, right behind Kings of Leon. I say they are only #2 because if I'm going to be honest- their crowd interaction sucked. They spoke MAYBE twice, with 3 words or less, during the entire 2 1/2 hour concert. The other thing that sucked was the crowd. As a avid music whore and concert slut I expect that the rest of the people at the concert are there to jam out. Jamming out means standing up, jumping around, singing, clapping, screaming, etc. I do all of these things when I'm at a good concert. NOBODY else in my section was doing that. Except for the two or three guys in front of Dena and Karl who danced for a few songs. And so here I am, having a blast and jamming out, and nobody around me is doing anything.
Fucking losers. I mean, I was tired. I had been up since 5am, drove 9 hours, had very little food in me, I was dizzy, felt like I was going to puke but I am rocking out. Because that's the purpose of going. If I wanted to be lame and stand there like an idiot doing nothing, I would have just listened to the cd at home.

So that's my rant about that. Anyways. So almost towards the end they dropped some giant eyeball balloons that looked pretty cool.
Overall- the concert was great. Their stage was great and if you ever get a chance to see Muse live, I highly recommend that you do. If their stages are normally anything like the one we had
there is no bad seat despite what your ticket may say.

So after the concert we had to hail a cab back to our hotel. Us and like 4000 other people. Guess who didn't get a cab? Us.
A few people received texts from me describing our plight of walking in the fucking windy, 38 degree, misty rain weather in the middle of the night through the darkened streets of Chicago. Now I have taken cabs in lots of places. I know how to hail a cab and find a cab. At every concert I have ever been to there has been a "cab bank" along one side of a venue. Apparently United Center does not have that unless it was in some top secret location. We tried calling a cab ourselves, calling the hotel to arrange for a cab, etc to no avail. We walked (if I did my blocks converted to miles math correctly) almost 3 miles trying to get a cab. Now, I'm a firm believer that if you are lost or need help you stay the fuck where you are and stop moving around. Moving around does not help. You could walk from one end of Chicago to the next and no cab is going to be like, "Wow- I think they need a ride". No. They drive past your sorry wet ass.

And guess who's wearing really uncomfortable boots that we never made for walking?
Me.
And guess who has 27 blisters total on her feet from this walking?
Me.

We got back to the hotel REALLY late, only after jumping into a very dirty minivan cab decked out with those air freshener trees that no longer smell and driven by a guy who clearly speaks only enough English to tell you how much you owe. This guy could have been making plans to bomb the entire eastern seaboard but we would never know it because he talked so fast in some foreign language in between slamming on his brakes.
The highlight of that ride came when I was sliding all over the fucking backseat and put my hand in some kind of wet puddle on the seat. Let me tell you that it's a damn good thing it was dark otherwise I would have cried while puking. Instead, I wiped it on my already wet and filthy pants along with god only knows what else was on that seat. I got the fuck out of that cab as quick as I could. But how we even made it to the hotel alive I don't even know because driver missed a few red lights and I think he believes that stop signs with a white border are actually optional. Apparently the Illinois Department of Transportation are really lax on the whole "must pass a road test" restriction.
We made it back really late. And I took a great shower despite the fact my feet hurt so bad and my heels were actually bleeding. No good.
OK- so that was Friday night in Chicago. If you want to see ALL of my Chicago pictures including everything from the Muse concert- check out my Facebook page (link to your right somewhere) and they are all up.
Tomorrow we'll talk about Saturday in Chicago. And inadvertently celebrating St. Patrick's Day in the windy city.

13 comments:

Angela said...

I hate people who go to concerts and just stand still and act like they're ashamed to be there. What's the point? I was once made to take my sisters to go see Simple Plan, and even though I'm not a fan of Simple Plan, I decided to make the most out of it and rock out anyway.

P.S. I'm so glad you didn't die in the cab of grossness.

Melissa Leah said...

I am glad that you enjoyed the concert. I guess I ahould have warned you about cabs in the Chi. Sorry, please dont punch my arm too hard! LOL! I still think that the traffic is better there than where I am at in Norfolk, VA. And I'm glad your hotel wasnt ghetto.

Sam said...

Concert= liveliness and fun, not depression and moping. At the Lifehouse concert we were in the second row and NOBODY was doing anything. Even the band wasn't really even swaying with the music. We looked like a bunch of idiots dancing and jumping and yelling but hey, at least we were having fun!! And that was the only reason the opening band HoneyHoney remembered us, was because we were the only people in the lower bowl doing anything.
I once had a 7 hour layover in Chicago, I didn't leave the airport, so it wasn't a fun trip. I'm glad your was good!!!

Chicken said...

I am so jealous! The pizza looks less like a human heart than I thought.

____j said...

Looks and sounds like a lot of fun...minus the nasty cab and the drinky drink. I loved Chicago, and would go back a million times, but I don't think I could stomach the pizza. Just looking at it makes me want to barf.

Nikolett said...

Every concert with you is such an adventure, I love it! Shame about the crowd being a bit dull and lack of their crowd interaction ... at mine they spoke quite a few times and Matt kept going, "C'MON TORONTO!" so maybe it was just a quiet day for 'em? And girl, you are brave to walk all that way after rocking out. Have a good rest of the week :)

Smart Ass Sara said...

@Angela- I can jam out to basically anything. I just like music and I like it fast, loud, and live.

@Melissa Leah- WHAT?! You god damn right some heads up would have been nice. Girl- you OWE me.

@Sam- EXACTLY! That is the whole point! Why would a band get excited to play if nobody is having a good time? Dance like a fool- who cares?!

@Chicken- I told you it would look better!

@_____j- I promise you the pizza was WAY better than it looked. If you come to Chicago- you let me know. I would drive down to meet ya!

@Nikolett- It was funny because the chicks behind us were all Debbie Downer about the columns and I was like, "No, no, I swear- I know this girl who went to the one in Toronto and she said it was super awesome" etc and I was like *minor* celebrity for "knowing" people in other places that could give me the heads up.

Miranda said...

Chicago is seriously the shiz. Despite the cold and rain. I came home with pleurisy last year after walking the streets with sheets of rain whipping my face. But I STILL love it! Please tell me more!

Danielle said...

You looked sooo pretty! :) I'm glad you got to get away for the weekend and enjoy a great concert!!! Chicago is such a great city, I have a friend who moved there almost a year ago, I plan to make a trip out there with JC this summer! Congrats on mastering the traffic in the city in one day! She has lived there for a year and still takes the train downtown and walks LOL!

The pizza is banginnnnn! :)

Another David said...

Holy hell, I'm jealous. That setup just LOOKS awesome! And yeah, when driving in the city, it's best to not use blinkers at all. I find that giving away my intention is only giving license for someone to block my move. You just go. Chances are they'll let you in in the end because nobody wants to be involved in an accident, even if they didn't cause it.

Steph said...

Looks like an A+ Awesome time!

Those Chicago drivers are insane and I never even drove while I was there...

So glad you're back :D

Sara said...

I was taught how to drive by my 16 year old sister. You beat me on the time thing, but I'm pretty bad-ass in traffic. Mirrors are my friends.

Love the recap of the concert. Looked amazing! I haven't been to one since 1996 and Reba came to the Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio.

Love the pizza!

And so glad you are safe from all the cab craziness. Yech on the puddle of gross.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Well that sounds fun? painful? lol. At least the music was good!