Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Got A Minute? Because I Apparently Don't

I just want to put it out there that I have heartburn and my legs hurt so fucking bad I can barely move. ALSO... let's all thank Nikolett over at Better Than Coffee because if you notice to your right there are THREE buttons for my blog for you to pimp me on your blog. Nikolett also made my header and because she is a million shades of awesome and win I'm dubbing her my Awesome-Stuff-On-My-Blog (otherwise known as ASOMB) guru. Let's all scream for Nikolett. She is awesome and my hero.

Also coming to my rescure because I'm a ridiculous failure at anything with "HTML" in it because it's got weird symbols and requires more than 30 seconds of thought is Krysten who made my Etsy button which is on her page as well. Krysten rocks my world and at some point, we are going to fuck Hayward, Wisconsin UP. (We're gonna meet there since it's not really the middle, but we're going to pretend and there's shit to do in Hayward except Lumberjack shit. HEY!!! We can be lumberjacks, Krysten!!!!! Whatever. We *may* get kicked out of Hayward)

OK so on to tonight's post. A few days ago I talked about my panties being out of my ass, which you know- is always kind of a nice feeling, and how I'm a domesticated bitch and basically fabulous. Well I get comments on my FaceBook all the time and even a few of you, cough *Mr. O * cough asked me how I do it.

Do I have super powers? Probably. Do I have underage children cleaning my house 24/7? No, but if you know where I can get a maid who won't steal my stuff, works for free, and speaks little English- let me know.

I don't think I really have a secret. I'm just ridiculously organized and I make lists ALL.THE.TIME. It drives everyone around me nuts. I can't help it. Nobody's bitching I don't forget yall's birthdays, right??? (By the way- holla to Jandy who'll be birthday partying it up Sunday!!) Right.

Here is my schedule for Monday - Thursday:
6:00 am: Wake up, kind of. Basically roll over to see Lenny humping my foot and Rosie trying to get into my closet.
6:30 am: Drag ass out of bed because Jackson is screaming "MOMMA!!!" I then go upstairs, pee, wake up Olivia and make her get her outfit, wake up Jackson. Change Jackson (and pray it's not poop because I'm not equipped to handle poop before I'm even really awake), get him dressed.
6:45: get myself dressed, put on super fast makeup, attempt at making my hair decent. Grab my breakfast, lunch, gym clothes, purse. Pull out meat for dinner (if applicable), feed/water animals.
7:00: out the door- drop the kids off at my mom's, on my way to work.
7:20-7:30: arrive at work.
7:30-5:00 pm: work.
5:00: go to Curves, get molested
5:45: leave Curves, head home
6:00- cook supper, talk/play with kids. Talk to Matt
6:30- eat dinner with family then clean up if Matt is doing baths (every other night)
7:00- kids go to bed, I start my fuckmill after putting in laundry, going through the mail and organizing bills
7:30 start blogging
7:45- read blogs from day/become a comment slut
8:30- check 20SB, FaceBook, other blogger groups. I'll sometimes chat with people and post.
9:00- clean kitchen, quick clean of floors, bathroom.
9:30-11: read then go to bed

Now the weekends (Friday-Sunday) are different.
6:00 am: Wake up, kind of. Basically roll over to see Lenny humping my foot and Rosie trying to get into my closet.
6:30 am: Drag ass out of bed because Jackson is screaming "MOMMA!!!" I then go upstairs, pee, wake up Olivia and make her get her outfit, wake up Jackson. Change Jackson (and pray it's not poop because I'm not equipped to handle poop before I'm even really awake), get him dressed.
6:45: get myself dressed, put on super fast makeup, attempt at making my hair decent. Pull out meat for dinner (if applicable), feed/water animals.
7:00: get breakfast for the kids and figure out what the fuck we're doing today
7:30: start laundry, clean laundry room
8-10: play with the kids and be fun mommy
10:30: get ready for lunch (Friday's we got out for Happy Meals and then the weekends I make stuff)
11:00: eat lunch
12:00-1:00- more play, dance parties. Laundry load #2 goes in
1:00- Jackson goes in for nap, Olivia watches a movie
1-3- clean living room, bathroom, my room, kitchen. Fold laundry #1, put #2 in dryer
3:00 wake Jackson up, more play/walk/outside
5:00-start dinner, fold laundry #2, start #3
6:00 - eat dinner/clean up/ clean kitchen AGAIN
7:00- bedtime then fuckmill
7:45 blog
8:00- craft/Etsy store stuff
9:00- fold #3 laundry, clean floors
10:00- *maybe* watch some TV.
11:00- bed time

OK- so that's basically my schedule. It is almost the same every day. And in between all of that, I email friends regularly- as much as I can (sorry if I'm slacking!!!), plan menus, make shopping lists, pay bills, mail out birthday cards/gifts, counsel friends, watch True Blood on Sundays, I tackle one major household project (sorting closets/dressers/cleaning out porches/re-organizing cupboards, etc) a week.

I try very hard to be efficient and even though I do a lot, I feel like such a lazy ass somedays. Some days I feel bad that I didn't get to email or call a friend. I feel like bigger shit if I didn't get to the post office and mail that card because I want everything to be on time all the time.

When I was in college I had two full time jobs and a part time telemarketing job while going to school full time AND still doing a lot around the house either in my own apartment or when I was at home. I graduated at the top of my class even though I remember very little aside from the fact that I slept in my car 3 nights a week because it didn't make sense to drive home only to turn around. So I'd fall asleep in my backseat in the school parking lot. It was awful. But I've always been the kind of person to work really hard and not take time to do stuff for myself.

So when you see me going to a concert, shopping, or going out with a friend on the weekend? That is major. I have decided that I can't do so much anymore. So the schedule you see? Is only half of what I would have been doing oh...a year ago. It's amazing what happens when you slow down...even just a little bit.

14 comments:

Shanel said...

if God were to ever bless me with children... I want at least an ounce of your energy and order:)

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I suck at schedules. When I HAD a job I could only get up, get ready for work, go to work, come home and try not to die. Then again my job required a lot of physical labor (and you thought your baristas just drink coffee all day, didn't you)so by the time I came home I was out of it. But you are superwoman.

And Hayward? They are going to regret letting us into their town. We are for sure going there for Memorial Day Weekend, that Friday night through Monday. So.... just sayin'..... And maybe there will be something fun to do. Like... um... get candy at the candy store? And.... um.... well....

Adding your blog button to my blog now =-)

jprp said...

oh, and you're like totes famous on my blog now!

jprp said...

how funny, I was just about to comment on FB about how much you fit in your day! You mightnot think so, but the rest of us know youre superwoman! BTW, I'm totes looking forward to our slumber party in a jail... they'd all better watch it, the office bitches are coming!! xx

Holy Hannah said...

You are such a super woman! You are amazing and don't let anyone ever tell you different or I will have to beat their asses. :-) I love your schedules, I am envious. ~ Steph

Ann said...

Damn, you are one busy ass bitch! You make me feel so l-a-z-y.

AaronBillyMacHarlan said...

10TonsOfLuv@blogspot.com

I hope you don't mind what I wrote about you.. if so let me know before you sue me.

Aaron

Sam said...

Damn! I just finished your cd and read this post and did a mental head slap! I have the perfect song for you that I want on your CD! I may possibly re-burn a whole 147 song cd just to put a song on it,it's about a girl who everyone thinks is Superwoman and refer to her as superman's cousin!
Also, your an amazing person to be able to fit all that in, I would die if I got up at 7 every day. And I think your great and responding back quickly, so I guess just keep on doing what your doing because it seems to be working! :)

Gini said...

You're my hero!! I'm just as busy as you but not so organized. And I don't have children yet!

Snoozie said...

Dang girl- you are super efficient~ I wish I could be like that. Can I be like you when I grow up?

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Here is the solitary question coming to mind about your weekday schedule.

Why do you get molested at Curves?

Morgan said...

Damn girl! I schedule my work life (turn one job into 5-8 segmented jobs throughout the day) but am pretty bad about consistency outside of that. I envy you for your dedication!

Why do you get molested at Curves?

P.S. I say you need to schedule 5 minutes of "not allowed to do a single thing besides sit there and reflect how amazing you are." Like seriously sit still and don't do anything productive besides breathing. We'll call it "meditation" ;)

Another David said...

Hot damn, woman! Take a break!!

Nikolett said...

Woot, thank you for the shout-out! And lady ... wow, you are ... something else and something special for sure (and I mean special in a good way)! I don't think I could handle that much of a schedule ... you are superwoman! :)