Sunday, April 11, 2010

On this edition of MTV Cribs..

We tour the home of Smart Ass Sara, leader of lamb whores and goat sluts.

OK, so some of you have heard me bitch about the state of my house and while I do have quite a bit that is um.."in progress" I do have a lot of stuff that is pretty decent. So welcome to my home. Some of it. (Obviously, I'm not going to detail every square inch of my house, but this is basically it. Unless you really want to see the laundry room and back porch again. In that case, go here and here, respectively)

As soon as you walk into our front door- this is what you see. We have a small porch that is hot as shit in the summer and cold as fuck in the winter. The hot as shit isn't so bad really since I like heat, but the cold as fuck part is no good. In fact, since Matt did a marathon session of putting new Sheetrock (after taking down the old shit that was Sheetrock with paneling glued to it) in one night (much to the amazement of my friend Jennie and I who were scrapbooking) this is what we have. Light yellow/sage with cobalt blue accent. It's nice. Except for the fact all of the Sheetrock is cracked in every corner because of faulty installation. That's a whole OTHER post. But my porch is small and it's like a mud room I guess.

Please take off your shoes. I actually don't like vacuuming every day so thanks. Except if your shoes are really dirty, please leave them on. That way we can ruin the carpet and convince Matt we need new. Because this shit is awful.

OK- so here's the living room. It's what you see first thing as you walk in. To the right of that archway, there is a door (it's in the living room actually) and that goes to my bedroom. Where magic is currently not happening. You'll notice Lenny by the toys. He's cool. So you can't see it, but to your right is a wall and it has a black shelf with toy bins and a huge cool black and white photo of trees. And the basketball hoop is outside now. FYI.
And when you look to the left- the other part of my living room. See that big blank wall, Jamie?? I need something! I haven't picked out a green wall color for one living room wall yet, but I bought two pillows! That counts, right?? I'm one step closer! OK- so I have to tell you about the chairs. We bought the chairs and the couch almost 3 years ago. The couch was $300 on sale. The chairs that I just HAD to have? $500. A piece. And then I broke one. I'm serious. Matt was PISSED. It has something to do with Robert Pattinson. Read that HERE.
We'll go up the stairs in a bit, but let me take you to my kitchen. (I'm sorry..I'll do fridge/freezer shots tomorrow. I'm a bit tired this evening.) My red wall!! I love it. I have always wanted a red wall and I read somewhere that red makes you hungry, and although I don't need help in that department, I was hoping my kids would pick up on it. So far, only Jackson has. But ignore the green trim window/door because that's going to be bye-bye. Someday. *sigh*
Um, the other half of my ugly ass kitchen. SOMEDAY all this green shit will be replaced with what you see next to the fridge. And the cupboards will shut. It will be GLORIOUS.
OK, so connected to my kitchen is the dining room. Fun fact- the dining room and my bedroom were added on two years ago. It's almost doubled out square feet and I love it. OK, so this is what you see when you come in. The table in the corner of the room is an extension of my scrapbook closet which is in a current state of disaster because of my productive weekend. (more on that tomorrow)
But when you stand on the OTHER side of the room, this is what you see as you look towards the kitchen. More red. That picture that you see only half of to the left? Was $60 at Target like 4 years ago. I bought it, stored it in a closet. Matt had no idea how much I paid but I KNEW it would be perfect for in my someday dining room. And it is. So again, I was right. But that pass through on the wall? Used to be the window that looked out into the yard. But I love this because on the other side is the sink and it is super handy when we do big dinners and such. The hutch is a rescue project. It was pretty dilapidated but Matt fixed it while I painted it.


OK, so let's see my room before we go upstairs. I've posted on this before, but here you go. This room is still in progress. It's huge actually- you can't really tell with all of the shit around. Fun fact- I don't like making my bed. I just pretty much leave my pillows where they are because once I get them in perfect position I like to leave them way. :) The cedar chest was my high school graduation gift. It basically stores my sheets/blankets/etc for the bed. You'll notice we have no carpet. Because we need more money. Matt..um...miscalculated the actual cost of the addition. Which means no proper flooring. It's cold as you can imagine since we have no basement- only a crawlspace. Oh- have I mention I have no working heat in here? Or in the dining room?
Since no magic is happening in the above picture, I suppose magic happens here. On the computer. Which is obviously where I am RIGHT NOW. And then my fuckmill. And the tv I can't figure out how to work. I obviously need some stuff on the walls here. Actually- I'd like a new desk but yeah. Not happening soon.
So let's go upstairs. So yeah- the stairs. It's a high ceiling so it's going to stay white. I've got pictures of the kids and then the 5x7's from our wedding on the walls.
OH! At the top of the stairs you see this. It's actually two cheapy shelves we bought at Target and they fit perfectly in this weird space. It holds all of the kids' books (bottom) and small blankets and some games (top). So handy since nothing else we've ever found will fit in this bizarre sized space. Above the shelves is the attic area. Which Matt says is a mess. I'll take his word for it.
To the right is Olivia's room which used to be our room before we put the addition on. We painted it pink for her because that's what she wanted. Her room is HUGE. But this is what you see from the doorway.
Jackson's room is to the left of the stairs. This is the same as it was for Olivia. I love the blue/green and natural wood. The rocking chair is next to the window that in the summer, looks out to the huge lilac bush in our backyard. I have spent MANY hours in that chair. More on that soon, too. This room is small. I took this picture from the doorway. So um, yeah. It's small.
Pretty much every self portrait shot of me is done in my bathroom, so I don't feel like I need to really document this. But we renovated this when Olivia was 6 months old. It never used to look like this. In fact, it's not even close. I don't have before pictures but trust me- it was awful. But this is super small too.
The thing that gets the MOST compliments in my house aside from my dining room, the black and white 16x20 photo of Matt and I on our wedding day or the ghettoness of my laundry room is this sign in my bathroom.

So there you go. THAT is my house. Most of it. Actually- these are all of the rooms except for the laundry room and back porch but those have been thoroughly discussed in previous posts (see above for links).

But with all of that.....I need to decorate more. Have any ideas? Seen anything super fun and funky that you think would be awesome now that you know what colors I'm working with? Let me know!

18 comments:

Chicken said...

Its a lovely home,but where the hell is your pantie drawer. I mean, after all I feel that I should return the favor. Oh and that shity desk that you have...uhh ya we're twinkies. Mr. Chicken and I have the exact same desk, I am sitting at it right now. It's anything but awesome.

Holy Hannah said...

I think your home is lovely, I wish I had your talent. My home kind of looks like a bohemian teenage boy threw up all over it! toodles ~ Steph

Haupi said...

Wow! What a lovely home! WTF....you should see the dump I live in. Anyway just surfing the blogs and stop by here to say "Hi" and check out your pictures. Your husband does great work. Hope you'll visit my site if you can.
- Haupi http://alienscreams.blogspot.com/

Angela said...

I've been wanting to do a blog post about my favorite spots in my home, and now you're making me want to do it sooner!
When I first moved in, my boyfriend took a picture tour of our apartment, and I posted it to facebook. It made our friends jealous :)

jprp said...

I think i might just steal this idea! thanks for inviting us in! youre home is lovely, i love the kids room, Jacksons room rocks! I'm feeling a little left out though, i need to get me one of these hot ass desks you and chicken speak about!

xoxoKrysten said...

And of course in the bedroom is EDWARD! I actually did a double take and was then like OH YEAH! Duh! Edward!

I would so do a tour of my apartment except we live in a shithole where the landlord does diddly squat. In fact, I have to call him right now and scream at him because the lock on our mailbox has been broken for A MONTH and even though we call him every other day it has yet to be fixed. And Dustin is too nice when he calls.

Okay, vent over. Lovely house Sara!

ale8oneboy said...

lol. Sweet pad!

Shanel said...

you've got a lot of space to do whatever you want... that's GREAT... your read wall would look great with white and black accents and decorations... I love read... and I'm also planning to have a red wall in our next house... to me its exotic...

____j said...

As soon as you find the right color for your walls, just let me know. Since I have to take a semester off and all...I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to do something for you!

Sam said...

I can't read this post, you have to invite me in. I can't cross the threshold without your blessing. JK! i think iv'e overdosed on TrueBlood lately.

Your house is so great, it makes me laugh when I think of Edward peering at you from next to your bookshelf. It would be super creepy if his eyes glowed. (not sure if that's a word)
I am actually about to get rid of a smaller corner desk, the color of the cabinets you like in your kitchen. All yours if you want to come pick it up. :)
At my house, apparently everyone thinks changing the TP does cause brain damage. I may need to borrow your sign and hit them with it.
Do you guys actually sit at the dining room table to eat?

Smart Ass Sara said...

@Chicken- panty drawer coming soon baby.

@Holy Hanah- All of my talent comes from HGTV. :)

@haupi- post pics of your dump! I'll visit you soon lover.

@Angela & JPRP- do it! I'd like to see where you guys live.

@Krysten- I *almost* put Edward in my bed. But then you'd think I was weird.

@ale & Shanel- thanks!!

@J- I'm working on it! I promise. :)

@Sam- yup, we eat at the table! I'm kind of big on eating dinner together. That way we appear normal. Edward is creepy even without the glowing eyes. HAHA!!

Rebel Mel said...

You live in wisconsin, right? I had a dream I went there last night. It was weird, because everywhere I went I had to walk up hill in the snow. hah. Anyway.

I had been planning on doing an MTV cribs thing on my blog, but just hadn't gotten the time for it. Or the time to clean my apartment, either. But soon!

Amber said...

You have inspired me to post pictures of my abode on my blog, Sara! Check it out when I do. I am IN LOVE with color, so every room in my house is a different color. I have that wonderful red you have, and I have a cool tranquil green, but have a black kitchen, orange scrapbooking room, yellow office and a purple bathroom. Yeah, sounds ghetto, but it really isn't. I love Pottery Barn, and even though I cannot afford anything in it anymore, I decorate using their cattys.

It is amazing how close our tastes are. Wow, now I am excited to post my house pictures (giving you credit of course!!)

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

God. I suddenly feel so up close and personal with you. And I like the lighting fixture above your dining room table. Very cute.

Amber said...

I'm pretty sure I have the exact same paint color in my living room, with the white trim and everything! Carazay!

Mr O said...

*i LOVE the Lightning McQueen bag!

*I like the kitchen/dining room setup. Not gonna lie, I did kind of laugh at the red/green combo

*your bedroom shot made me choke on my cereal cuz I started laughing at the randomness of Robert Pattinson

Morgan said...

Love, love, love that sign in your bathroom. Genius!

Sara said...

Did you make the blanket on the back of your couch? :D Lovely house. You really do think a lot about decorating and doing things with your home. It is inspiring. I've honestly never thought too hard about decorating, unless messes count.