So I'm pretty much brain dead. I can't think of things to post when I come to sit down but all day my brain is so active and just churning out ideas and I think about writing things down, but then I get all busy and forget.
And then I come home, sit down at my desk and nothing. Nothing is up in there. So I obviously think the worst and assume that the brain tumor that I am sure is there is just acting up. And I wish I could be like, "Brain tumor- simmer the fuck down" but I don't think he'd listen to me. And yes, I've decided my eventual brain tumor is a boy. It just has to be.
Another sign is that I was super excited to play Lego's with the kids today. Now I know that most parents like hanging out with their kids, and I do, but I really don't like playing toys. Like I don't get into it like I did when I was younger. So I'll sit near them, talk to them, hold a block and basically zone out. I mean, that doesn't make me a bad parent. I'm just tired. And thinking of everything I could be doing.
But tonight when I got home I made a phone call and changed out of my work clothes and was like gun-fucking-ho to play Lego's. I don't know. When I was younger I was never big into blocks. I was a Barbie girl (cue song..you know you're singing it) but occasionally I'd venture into blocks. I remember once I built this house, completely furnished without a roof so I could play with my Lego people in it. The house was really nice, it had working doors (front and back), windows (with shutters and window boxes with flowers) and a mailbox. I made a truck with working doors and a trunk. It basically looked like my 1980's version of a Chevy Avalanche. I could have been rich had I sold my idea to Chevy back then.
I made this house when I was 6 or 7 and kept it, intact until I was seriously 12. I used to line up hard cover books on my bedroom floor to drive cars on (I was a big fan of matchbox cars) because my carpet was super shitty. The wheels would get all tangled in the carpet then I'd have to take safety scissors to the carpet.
Sorry, mom. That's why patches of carpet was gone in my room.
But basically I was never a toy kid. I mean, sure when I was little I did the Little People, My Little Pony, Barbies, etc but by the age of 10 I was basically done. I liked music, makeup, jewelry, clothes, and pens. I loved me some fucking pens. My brother and I used to ride our bikes to White Mart (seriously- I swear to you that's what it was called back then) when we lived in Cloquet and I would blow my allowance on three things: orange slices (the candy), nail polish, and pens. Because that's what the cool kids do.
It's been years since I've thought about what kinds of retarded stuff I liked when I was little. Maybe that will be my next post. Toys that I loved. Or something. But today when I was playing blocks? I realized that I still don't like blocks. But hanging out with Jackson and Olivia was pretty cool anyways.
Anyways. So I'm feeling like a bad leader because my posts this week are suckish. I'm sorry. Just know that I'm working really very hard on something totally awesome coming soon and that my posts will get better. Liek I mentioned earlier this week when I was all vague on you- lots of things are happening for me personally and soon...very soon...I'll be able to spill the beans.
And no, I'm not pregnant. I have had a secret baby, I haven't grown any limbs, I don't really have a brain tumor (I think), I am not dying, and Bat Boy is not my child.