Sunday, May 30, 2010

Yo Ho Bitches

So today Matt and I drove to Hayward, Wisconsin. Now if you have ever been to Wisconsin you'll notice that 90% of Wisconsin is comprised of hick towns with cute gift shops. And every town has one gas station, a shitload of farms and a million churches. Hayward is no different aside from their beautiful lake and for this weekend, it had Krysten and her hubby Dustin. You'll recognize Krysten as a regular commenter up in this shiz and her blog is over at After I Do. Check her out because we make a cute couple. We met up with them at the original Famous Dave's restaurant and ended up having a breakfast buffet. Except we didn't know that because our waitress (and I use that term loosely) never told us. We kind of just assumed we had to go up. Craptastic service and semi-good food. I had a super good waffle though that was all puffy. Mmm..

So after Famous Dave's we were going to hit up the multitude of little shops Hayward is kind of known for. I ended up getting a cute yellow sweatshirt and I almost got pregnant in the same shop when I saw all the baby stuff. Matt says no but come on---you have to be cold hearted to say no to polka dot baby socks.

He still said no.

OH! So I had to pee and remarkably- one of the shops had a bathroom. So I go in and yeah- it STINKS up in there. Clearly no ventilation. So I'm peeing and as I come out of the stall this super huge lady goes into another stall. No big. So I'm washing my hands and I hear her flush. Then again. Then again. Finally- someone else walks into the bathroom as I'm going to get a towel to dry my hands. Guess what? SHE PLUGGED THE TOILET and began asking for help. I obviously did what anyone else would do.

I got out of there ushering Krysten, Dustin, and Matt to go. That's so disgusting.

OK so we went to another part of Hayward and we see there is a Lumberjack Show at 2, something else Hayward is known for. I've seen a small version of that one summer in Cloquet, but we decided to do it anyways. For $20 per couple we got in and climbed these super steep bleacher type things. I obviously had Matt go back down to get me a water, a pepsi and a popcorn.

The show itself was a bit cheesy but it was still fun. We all sat on the winning side. As if you thought our team would lose. Pssh. Well they want you to say "Yo Ho" to like motivate these "professional lumberjacks" but that sounds ridiculous. Krysten and I were too cool to do that. Obvi. And I had a proud moment because when they were all trying to give you the history of lumberjacks....I already knew it all (obvi) but only because I diligently watch "America: The Story of Us" on the History Channel on Sunday nights.

Oh- this guy danced in front of us.
These are the obviously underage kids posing as lumberjacks. They are "professionals" but they seriously looked 12. MAYBE 13.
The blond one to the left was hot. AND he almost ran Krysten and Dustin over afterwards in his truck. His partner kind of sucked at everything except climbing the big wood pole thingie.
So they did like jousting in the water in canoes. True story- the canoe to the left? Seriously must have been made of rubber. It was in super rough shape and frankly- I would never get it in.
But afterwards we went into a few more shops and Dustin found some really fun educational books in the world's smallest store. Seriously- if someone had farted we would have all died. But this was about your belly button or something but what I think it's really about is nudist colonies. And how it's ok to see and touch other people. Or something.
After parting ways Matt and I got back onto the highway to go back to Superior. Fun fact: when I drive in a 65mph I usually do around 80. And look for cops. When Matt drives in a 65 mph he does 76 and doesn't look for cops. And gets pulled over.
Thankfully- I told the trooper our cruise control doesn't work (lie) and then Matt played dumb really well (true) and YAY-- we only got a warning. Which is especially significant because Matt literally just got a speeding ticket in March or so for doing 14 over the limit. Yah. So our insurance is already going to go up so yay for no ticket today.
All in all we had a GREAT time. I adore Krysten's blog and now I can say I adore her in person without sounding like a creeper. We will definitely have to get together again. Because after all, Krysten- WE FORGOT TO MOLEST THE MUSKIE!! I can't believe that. Big sads when I remembered in Hawthorne as we got pulled over. :(
Olivia is at Matt's parents house until tomorrow, Jackson was thrilled to see us, we had a fatty supper, watched True Blood and my history show and now eating Coldstone Creamery cake...more specifically- A Cheesecake Named Desire. YUMOLA.
Bet you wish you were me, bitches. ;)

6 comments:

Alpha Za said...

Damn, that's a real good day. I'm Jealous.

What is it about baby socks that sends all women over the edge....buy the sock, use it as a cell phone cover.

The Insatiable Host said...

holy fuck i want cheesecake!

miss you girl!!! what's up how are you and wtf???? Hillybilly contests?? This seems interesting. Did you do the redneck boogie too???(that's canadian for line dancing). sounds like you had a super fun time!!!

be well...your insatiably insane friend.

danon

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Freakin' musky! Man and we totally drove RIGHT PAST IT on the way to the lumberjack show! We'll have to do a Yo Ho! part two =-)

And YOU have to come down to the cities and we'll go to the 90's and find you a nice gay boy. The drag show there is AH-MAZING!

D and I had so much fun. You pretty much rock my socks!

Sam said...

That sounds like a great time, the book about belly buttons looks a lot like that one book from childhood about male and female anatomy. Does that one girl have a bush?!? Shes like four!

Danielle said...

I'm jealous you and Krysten got to meet! hahaha! Hopefully one day we will! :) Glad you had a fun get away! :) I'm going to be starting the Charlaine Harris books probably tomorrow! :) woo hoo! :)

Sara said...

There is a lumberjack show in Ohio. Jeesh, I forget. Maybe Johnny Applessed? Catching up on your blog and I have to say I am happy to see all the fun things you are doing.

Love the book you found. Interesting. HA!