The only problem is I don't actually like to put this shit up myself and have delegated all outdoor decoration and lighting responsibilities to Matt. And every year he lets me know in no certain terms that he hates it and wish the moving deer would just die.
He isn't one for the Christmas spirit.
But every year, right around Halloween, we get like one super nice day which is ideal for putting up Christmas decor. Sure- you look like a fucking jackass for two months with snowmen, lights, poinsettias, and moving deer in your yard but really? It's better than using a hammer to get stakes into the frozen ground when it's sleeting and you have lots of wind. NOT IDEAL.
And this year we made it a family thing and decorated around Thanksgiving. By "family thing" means we (Olivia, Jackson, and I) sat and played with sidewalk chalk and told Matt where to put stuff.
I should also mention that this year someone actually GAVE us a bunch of stuff. Including the two things I have wanted forever and Matt hates with a passion that in usually reserved for fat women in white spandex with leopard print underwear: inflatable snowman and inflatable Santa. You know- the six feet tall ones. HEAVEN.
He hated it, we heard about it for months. But Christmas came and went. You can't take down decorations until the ground thaws so they stay up well past the holiday season. Which looks lame.
But our house is particularly lame because for the last three years--- our white icicle lights stayed up all year. They look dumb as hell in the middle of August when we're having BBQ's and smores in the backyard. But this year? Matt took the lights down!
And then demonstrating stellar parent judgment- we haul a two year old on a ladder.
And then to the roof.
So yes. The lights are officially down and we are no longer the white trash on the block. That title is gainfully recaptured by the pedophile behind us who collects disability for a bad shoulder yet he was chopping wood like a lumberjack yesterday. All while staring at me and winking. And his wife- who is screaming and swearing at her two girls (both appear to be under age 9 or so) for being "constant fucking bitches".
It's like Teen Mom and Dad Camp but live in my own backyard. Except these people are in their early 30's. Loves it.