My quest for world domination, surrounded by chaos.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Toddlers Gone Wild
Undeniably, I have super duper adorable kids. They make me super happy (most of the time) and I don't regret becoming a mommy even though my life has changed ten fold. While there are some days where I'm so happy to be a mom I can barely stand it....
...there are also some days where I think, "What the fuck was I thinking and what have my loins produced?!"
Friday was one of those days. Most days my kids get up at 6:30 in the morning and they seriously operate like clockwork. It's disgusting. They also haven't figured out the joys of sleeping in, but whatever. Usually I can wake up, get them cereal/milk and turn on Jack's Big Music Showand get another hour of sleep on the couch.
On Friday I woke up to Jackson standing next to my bed saying "water". Obviously I'm annoyed he's up this early but I don't understand why he wants water instead of his milk. So he's saying "water" repeatedly and grabbing my hand and saying "come". (Which he does all of the time so this was not unusual.) What WAS unusual was seeing water dripping on the top stair which is carpeted. And the casually noticing that the entire hallway is covered in water, there's a towel on the floor, Olivia is in her room acting like she's clueless about the flood and the bathroom sink is overflowing.
Because SOMEBODY (*cough* Olivia *cough*) put her Smurfette in the sink and SURPRISE! It will cause a sink to overflow. So I asked Olivia why she didn't just turn the water off and I got the response "Because we couldn't get to it." Obviously- because while it wasn't quite ankle deep it did cover my foot and I could easily swish water around. The water got into their rooms and it took me an entire hour to clean it up.
Needless to say, I was pissed. I could have killed. Normally it's no big deal because it's just water, BUT the sink base cabinet? Water leaked into it and the inside bottom? Bubbling up. Nice. Matt was thrilled to see our sink cabinet, only 4 years old or so, is ruined on the inside. *sigh*
Oh-- but that's not all.
Once they realized a flood was happening and they couldn't fix it, they decided to pass their time coloring.
On my mother fucking dining room walls.
I saw this masterpiece at approximately 8 am, only 5 minutes after getting off the phone with Matt who calls us on his break to see how we're doing. He didn't like to hear the water story, but after I got off the phone with him and saw THIS? I texted him with, "Hi. You need to come home at one. I may kill your children otherwise." He then called me on his lunch to ask what was going on and when I told him to get excited to paint?
Matt was not happy.
I can honestly say at the very moment that I was recuperating from the flood and then seeing this I know what causes mothers to kill their kids. The vision went through my head and when Olivia asked, "Mommy? Are you going to cry?" I replied with, "Yes. Yes, Mommy is going to cry and you should be in your room because anything mommy might say while crying will be bad words."
Needless to say, my kids were in their room for the rest of the morning while I tried every method I could find online to clean the wall. No such luck. Nothing worked. We are going to have to paint the walls again. Yes, I said walls. Because when I showed Matt the wall when he came home? I noticed that the red wall has artwork as well. Lovely.