Before I start- here are some housekeeping reminders:
1. Giveaway- enter or be a loser. Deadline- Friday
2. Bad Car Contest- enter or be a disappointing failure. There WILL be a prize for the winner. You only have until the end of this week to enter. Next Monday I'll post all of the pictures and you, my faithful lambwhores, will get to pick the winner.
Ok. So you know I love me some news..let's get started.
1. Segway Owner Dies. Well let me just state for the record that I want a Segway. I feel that with this, complete with streamers, basket and of course-a helmet to match my purse, I would be completely bad ass. These seem like pretty much any idiot can ride one, but according to this article I'm very wrong on this. The owner of the company that makes these Segway's drove off a cliff on his scooter thingie and died. Wait- I'm sorry-- but why...would you not JUMP THE FUCK OFF???? Are you attached? You don't look attached. I mean, why would you stay on it? Is the insurance that outrageous that you have to try to save the Segway? I don't get it. I read another article about there being a lot of accidents on these things because people are running into benches, trees, parked cars, etc. Seriously? These people shouldn't have a license. If they can't weave a scooter around these I'd hate to see them in an actual car. Jesus.
2. Lindsay Lohan. I can't even link to that because really- just pick any link you find. Can someone explain to me how a person can be this dumb? Really Lindsay? You JUST got out of jail for drugs and then you use them within days? I get that addiction is a serious problem but then why would you go back to your friends, FAMILY, and the clubs when you know you are an addict? Goodbye career. Hope you enjoyed it.
3. Teenagers Pretending to be Vampires. Seriously, folks. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have a possibly-not-normal infatuation with Robert Pattinson. I would love him long time. I would take a hand job. Anything. But to be fair, I've loved him long before Twilight. And I love, love, love the boys on True Blood. Yes please. AND I've always been in love with vampires and anything related to vampires. But under no circumstances (unless it was a real vampire in love with me and he looked as hot as any of the vampire show guys) would I let someone bite me and lick my blood. And in no way (even if they were previously mentioned hotness) would I bite someone and lick their blood. Disgusting. What the fuck is wrong with people???
4. Goat Sex. Look, everybody is into different things. But if you were on Twitter the other day and you clicked on a link about having sex with a goat...then two things have happened. 1. You have brought immense shame onto yourself for even doing that and 2. You had lots of message issues on Twitter. And honestly? Gross. If I learned that one of you were having sex with goats...wow. I'd have to not be your friend. But this is fun because I call you all lambwhores and/or goatsluts. So perhaps I've found my niche! :)
OK- that's it for tonight for me. I have LOTS of fun stuff happening in my Etsy shop so I have orders to ship, stuff to make, AND I have to keep reading my new book. But to leave you this evening I am thinking about doing another Q&A session with my readers. Now, you know that almost nothing embarrasses me, so give me the best you have. Leave the question here or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org :)