Monday, September 27, 2010

Sara's News Tonight

Before I start- here are some housekeeping reminders:
1. Giveaway- enter or be a loser. Deadline- Friday
2. Bad Car Contest- enter or be a disappointing failure. There WILL be a prize for the winner. You only have until the end of this week to enter. Next Monday I'll post all of the pictures and you, my faithful lambwhores, will get to pick the winner.

Ok. So you know I love me some news..let's get started.

1. Segway Owner Dies. Well let me just state for the record that I want a Segway. I feel that with this, complete with streamers, basket and of course-a helmet to match my purse, I would be completely bad ass. These seem like pretty much any idiot can ride one, but according to this article I'm very wrong on this. The owner of the company that makes these Segway's drove off a cliff on his scooter thingie and died. Wait- I'm sorry-- but why...would you not JUMP THE FUCK OFF???? Are you attached? You don't look attached. I mean, why would you stay on it? Is the insurance that outrageous that you have to try to save the Segway? I don't get it. I read another article about there being a lot of accidents on these things because people are running into benches, trees, parked cars, etc. Seriously? These people shouldn't have a license. If they can't weave a scooter around these I'd hate to see them in an actual car. Jesus.

2. Lindsay Lohan. I can't even link to that because really- just pick any link you find. Can someone explain to me how a person can be this dumb? Really Lindsay? You JUST got out of jail for drugs and then you use them within days? I get that addiction is a serious problem but then why would you go back to your friends, FAMILY, and the clubs when you know you are an addict? Goodbye career. Hope you enjoyed it.

3. Teenagers Pretending to be Vampires. Seriously, folks. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have a possibly-not-normal infatuation with Robert Pattinson. I would love him long time. I would take a hand job. Anything. But to be fair, I've loved him long before Twilight. And I love, love, love the boys on True Blood. Yes please. AND I've always been in love with vampires and anything related to vampires. But under no circumstances (unless it was a real vampire in love with me and he looked as hot as any of the vampire show guys) would I let someone bite me and lick my blood. And in no way (even if they were previously mentioned hotness) would I bite someone and lick their blood. Disgusting. What the fuck is wrong with people???

4. Goat Sex. Look, everybody is into different things. But if you were on Twitter the other day and you clicked on a link about having sex with a goat...then two things have happened. 1. You have brought immense shame onto yourself for even doing that and 2. You had lots of message issues on Twitter. And honestly? Gross. If I learned that one of you were having sex with goats...wow. I'd have to not be your friend. But this is fun because I call you all lambwhores and/or goatsluts. So perhaps I've found my niche! :)

OK- that's it for tonight for me. I have LOTS of fun stuff happening in my Etsy shop so I have orders to ship, stuff to make, AND I have to keep reading my new book. But to leave you this evening I am thinking about doing another Q&A session with my readers. Now, you know that almost nothing embarrasses me, so give me the best you have. Leave the question here or email me at slinkies_r_us@hotmail.com :)

14 comments:

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Now if only I could find a REAL vampire to make me his immortal lover I'd be okay with THAT. Especially if being a vampire myself would stop me from freaking breaking out!

Simple Dude said...

Something to ponder.. what if the Segway guy drove off the cliff because he was daydreaming about sex with goats. I'm just saying...

SD
http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

Canadianbloggergirl said...

LMAO @ lambwhores and goatsluts

True dat to Lindsay Lohan comment.

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

Annah said...

Ay Lindsay.... :( This friggin' girl pisses me off but also makes me want to protect her all at once.

Just Plain Tired said...

1) I didn't even know what a segway was until I read about the dude's death today.

2) Lindsay Lohan - meh, no talent waste of time.

3) Teenagers aren't among the folks I like much lately. Too long of a reason to get into here.

4) Goat Sex - I know they do it. Don't care to see or dwell on it though. But can imagine a great many people would hit that link.

Happy shipping and making of stuff tonight. ;)

Danielle said...

I'm thinking about starting an etsy shop this winter, but I'm not sure yet! Any advice?! LOL! I haven't even tackled the itch I have to buy something off of there!!! But I'm enjoying all of your new stuff!! Good for you!!! :)

Sandra said...

I don't even know where to start. I just love you. Love your honesty. Love your voice. Love that you love Rob Pattinson, and yes, a handjob would be nice. But honestly, I kind of like him as a vampire, so I guess you could say I'm in love with Edward Cullen (who, if you ask my husband, is my lover...well, that's who I call out for in my sleep...don't judge.)
Anyway, enough about me, it's all about you girl! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!

BeMistified said...

Oh you make me laugh. Better yet, what if he was dreaming of vampires that have sex with goats? Okay Okay that's stretching it. Maybe he was the one that tweeted about the goat sex thing and just decided to commit suicide so he saved himself from public humility, because he really didn't mean to post that on his twitter. You never know.......

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I thought for sure it was going to say it was a suicide. He was worth so much makes me wonder if he had some help going over the cliff!

Alpha Za said...

Did you click on the goat sex link....don't be shy, we won't judge...much.

Well, if you had to choose teens dressing up between Vampires and Emo rockers what would you pick?

Personally, I vote for clowns.

Ang said...

Did you hear that Lindsay said "I didn't think only doing one line would show up on a drug test" - DUH!

thebigshowatud said...

biting each other and other nonsense is what makes them teens! they have to do SOMETHING or else they'll see mature... mature, UNLIKE Ms. Lohan. if there's one person who can make Paris Hilton seem not-that-bad, it's her. ew.

Hippest Snippets said...

This was so funny, we snipped it. Hope it didn't hurt: http://bit.ly/9jIBma

Mr Monkey said...

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Thanks, Mr. Monkey

http://laughingmonkeystick.blogspot.com/