Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Croatia, Maybe You Can Be A Winner Too and How I Almost Killed Someone Today.

I'm awesome and I am going to inspire YOU to be awesome as well.

Probably not, but just play along and pretend you're saving the world.

First off, one of my secret crushes, Neal, wants to be a winner. And he wants to go to Croatia. I hope there is something very awesome in Croatia because he's close to winning a free trip. Well there is another girl trying to win who has as many votes as him and this? CANNOT HAPPEN. You, my loyal and lovely lambwhores, need to vote for Neal so that he will mail me a fabulous souvenir. I don't know if this will happen but I think if he wins and we all peer pressure him, he will. You can even write dirty messages on the message page. Bwahahahaha! So here's what you must do:
  • You need to go to Sail Croatia’s page here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sail-Croatia/7402108427
  • Click ‘LIKE’ up the top (don't worry, you can unlike straight after you comment if you like).
  • Click on the Faces Competition - TNT Show (or go to ‘Photos’ then Faces Competition - TNT Show)
  • Find me – Neal Ebbett (I’m the photo number 6)
  • Write a comment! Anything AT ALL!
I'm telling you that if I find out you didn't do this you are all off of my cool list and not invited to my party.

And I have a confession: Neal had a question for my post on Monday and I forgot it. Whoopsy. I wish I could say it was because I had one too many drinkity drinks but it's not the case. I'm an idiot and this is my public apology to my dearest Neal. His question was: Would I rather drink a poo shake or eat a human finger? Answer or else. And I obviously asked if I could mix the poo in with other flavors and he said no. I think we all know I'm not eating the finger since I'm a picky eater and all. (If you are new- this post is a must read.) So my official answer is "what does the "or else" entail because I might be interested in that."
**
Also since Neal is winning the trip to Croatia and we aren't I have a fabulous thing for you to win! Yes! You need to go to Jamie's blog every day this week because there is a new giveaway. Support some Etsy shops, try to win some free stuff, and be a cool kid. My giveaway thing went up yesterday so check that out. And if you aren't a follower of Jamie's- you need to be because she is cute as a damn button and I could just pinch her cheeks! And if one of my followers win my giveaway I'll throw something extra in there. :)

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So I bet you all want to know if I have committed vehicular manslaughter and am currently on the lamb, don't you? Yeah- I kind of think I'd be good on the lamb but sadly, it's not in my agenda for today. But I DID almost kill someone so that was a highlight.

I was driving home (don't they say most accidents happen near your house?) and as I come to a stop, even though there is no sign I have seen enough people get their vehicles totaled by not stopping, I start turning left onto my street. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN a guy comes flying out into the road from under a parked truck on the side. He was on one of those rolling thingies mechanics use. Yeah- I almost ran over his head! I know! I would have ruined perfectly good tires. So I swerve to the left avoiding his head and he gave me the finger. Um, hi fucktard. First off- who's works on their truck in the street? (Except for my neighbor across the street who does this every weekend it seems because I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what he's doing and is fixing the same wheel all of the time.) Second off- if you are going to work in the street, let's wear some clothes that don't blend in. And you should at least put a cone if you don't want to put a sign reading "asshole at work" near your feet. Third, who just flies out at full speed on a rolling thing into the middle of a road?? Who does this shit? You, fucking asshole. As far as I'm concerned I should have done society a favor and run the fucker over but I can't really afford new tires or paint and my house is like right there so it'd be easy to pick out which silver minivan did it and all. And when I got out of my van I expected to hear him screaming at me but nope- he's cranking up his Ted Nugent and back under the piece of shit truck. And I was too tired to go over there and kick him in the balls for scaring me half to death.
**
I am going to see Anberlin with Civic Twilight on Friday. I won't be posting on Friday but I will have a guest poster. I'll post tomorrow too obviously. Anyways. I will think dirty and lascivious thoughts of you all when I'm having fun. ;)

8 comments:

Helena said...

I commented, even though I'm not technically invited to your party. You're welcome.

Sandra said...

After the guy flipped you the bird, you should have backed up and aimed for his head! What's a little bit of brain bits on your tires. It washes off with the hose.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I voted for Neal!

And the zebra car was parked across the street again today. Made me think of you =-)

jprp said...

OMG woman I love your blog, but I love you more! you always make my day a little bit awesome!

Fickle Cattle said...

I'll probably eat a human finger. Poop shakes sound really really yuck.

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

Lost said...

Thanks Sara =) You totally rock my world! And I'm soooo going to do that thing you asked me to do in the bedroom with your hubby - even though it weirds me out a little...

And thank YOU! All you beautiful little lambwhores. I'll be thinking of you while sailing the beautiful Croatian waters.

Kevin Michael said...

Almost? Psshh. Call me when you actually do. Lol!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

What a crazy guy that guy was rolling out like that! It always amazes me when someone does something stupid and flips ME off. I'm like WTH you're the stupid one!