So with that said, I want you to show some love for Di, who's home is over at Moon Clippings and you need to go there and show her some lambwhore loving. (Condoms not provided.) (Sorry, we're on a tight budget and some stuff just had to go.)
But before I go--COME BACK SATURDAY FOR CONCERT PICTURES & STORIES!
I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Excuses….Not Anymore!
So maybe I watch a lot of television. I will admit to that freely. There are, however, several shows I hate to admit to anyone that I watch. Since this is not my blog, and I don’t know you folks, I feel I can get away will a true confessions of my own. Thank you Lovely Sara for letting me get this of my bloggy chest.
I am obsessed with watching the shows on the morbidly obese. I’m not talking about The Biggest Loser, which of course, I watch – not all 2 hours each week, mind you. Once I Tivo passed the whining and blah, blah and only watch the challenge and the weigh in, it only takes 20 minutes.
That’s not what I’m talking about. I am talking about when Discovery or History or MTV or Nickelodeon has a show about the 600, 800, 900 lb. person who is bedridden. I am captivated. No matter what I was watching before I flipped over to this channel, it’s gone:
The Presidential debate (well, duh, no brainer there);
My kids recorded football game (sorry guys. Hey, it’s a video. Hello? We can get back to it later);
The final episode of Lost (Did I miss much? Were all my questions answered? Yah, thought so).
I don’t know what it is. However, I do suspect the producers know what it is. I am thoroughly engrossed. From the beginning of his sad story to the point where he is at now, I’m there. All the diets he tried, the sadness, the pain that has brought him to this life, I am with him. He is 6 of me, but I feel connected.
Do I get angry? You bet I do. I will yell at the set “NO!!! Don’t bring him that! Can’t you see you’re part of the problem?? He can’t get up!! He has to eat what you bring him, please, please,” I implore, “Bring him a salad.” And then the wife goes on to show us what he eats for breakfast. 3 loaves of bread and a 24 egg omelet, a package of bacon, box of doughnuts.<
I want to jump in my car, drive over and tell her she’s out (just like Heidi Klum in Project Runway, yes I watch that, too) Auf Wiedersehen. I will have him down 200 lbs by next Tuesday.
My husband is incredulous.
“Did you just spend two hours of your life watching this?”
“Well, all my work was done, bills are paid, there’s nothing else on.” Oh, hell, now I’m just making excuses (the kids didn’t blab about that football thing, whew).
“Why do they put this stuff on television?” He stares at the set. “It’s like a circus, don’t you feel like you are invading his privacy?”
“Well, the cameras are in his house, I think he’s pretty much aware he’s on a show, dear. Besides, it’s not as if he really knows I am watching.” I know, right. Who would allow this?
His eyes widen, “Oh, that’s just not right,” he’s watching them try to roll him over”. He leaves me in disgrace.
The worst is when they run back-to-back episodes. I always think, this next one can’t be as bad as the one I just watched, and unbelievably, it is!!!
So, after I watch the failed attempt to get him to his church to be married, I click off the set, search the Internet to make sure he is still alive. He is – although still bedridden. I go downstairs to get a drink of water and am I ever so, so, so glad I did. I was so quiet in my decent, that my husband didn’t hear me. He was too engrossed in the show “Hoarders”!!!
Revenge is mine!!!!!