... to start shopping for my Christmas gift. For the last two Christmases Matt and I have gotten each other like one gift each. I would usually get my Dilbert Desk Calendar but since I'm not necessarily at a desk job anymore it isn't needed. That and I would have no where to put it. And he would get shirts that weren't gross and permanently dirty. So they were pretty boring since we were always broke.
But this year? He's gotten a raise which means not only am looking for something cool for him but I expect something really rad too. And I deserve it because hi- I was his underwear. And socks. And honestly? If you saw the state of his jeans you'd buy me something too.
But every year he says he doesn't know what to get me and that I'm picky. Which is LAUGHABLE because worst case scenario- you tell me to buy something for myself. Um, yes, please. So to make it easier on him and all of you, here's what I want:
1. A Nook. Don't bull shit me with your stupid Kindle ways. "Kindle" reminds me of "fire" and "fire" means DANGER in my world. I don't need to be anywhere near something that could be related to fire. It's a miracle I haven't burned down our house lighting candles. But Nook sounds cute and fun. Like midgets. I could see a midget being named Nooky and we call him Nook for short. I love midgets and I'd like to carry one around, so naturally I'd like a Nook.
2. An iPod that's got enough capacity to blow my mind. I have a piece of shit 8GB right now which is laughable because I barely have anything on it when you look at my music collection. I've got hundreds of cd's not loaded on there and that makes me sad. Like I want to listen to my Busta Rhymes WITH my Jewel. And they should party with my Debussy and then my Marilyn Manson. My cd's are like a big family. And I need them with me at all times.
3. A gift card to Barnes and Noble. Let's be frank- I have an addiction and there is no cure. It's kind of like chronic yeast infections. Without a new book it's like that itching and burning sensation but as soon as I have a new book it's like someone put Monistat on the itch. I'd give you a list of books but let's be real- I'll probably buy them for myself before then. So get me a gift card.
4. Robert Pattinson. I would like to do dirty things to him. The cardboard cutout isn't real conducive to that and I feel like, right now, it's only a one way relationship.
5. These shoes. In 7.5, please.
6. Some AA batteries. I'm currently out because I purposely didn't buy them as a form of punishment and yeah. Batteries are expensive lambwhores. Your leader needs batteries. For my toys. They feel sad and unloved. Let me love them.
7. A new camera. Preferably one that works. Mine is on it's last legs I fear and I need a new one before this thing dies a painful death via me throwing it on the ground.
8. You can get me an iTunes gift card. I'm becoming increasingly irritated with Apple and their shittastic customer service as far as iTunes but because I'm lazy at heart I'm not willing to convert to anything. Because converting takes time and patience, both of which I no longer have. Anyways- my "want to buy it but can't because I have to pay for groceries and at some point get a pap smear" list is getting huge. We're talking multiple pages. See-- you could all go in on a joint gift! The iPod AND the gift card.
9. A Liberator. Google it.
So that's the beginning of my list. I don't think I'm difficult to shop for at all. I mean my interests vary between reading, music and toys and you could combine any of these. I'm open for suggestions. :)
Anyways. So today I started back up at Curves and I remember now why I hate going. They have the worst music and I have a hard time keeping a straight face with these people flailing about at the recovery stations. But today I ran into an old co-worker and she was one I really miss. Such a nice lady and I miss chatting with her. Anyways- so I seen her and I chatted politely but it was so awkward. I really just wanted to ask her flat out what the deal was and if it was because of something she heard, because of the things I've heard that have been said about me I can tell you they are all false. Two people have asked me if I got fired and I didn't. I quit because my dad got sick and it just changed how child care was going to be handled (since my mom watches my kids when I work) and it wasn't worth working to put them in day care. I miss my job because I loved what I did, but to be honest? I don't miss the drama. I don't miss doing other people's work. I don't miss listening to someone complain about how another person doesn't do their job yet that person gets away with it. You can read all about my ultimate decision here. And since that all went down in May every day I wake up feeling relieved, happy, and stress free. My personality is back to awesome, Matt has noticed a big change in me, I feel like I'm not homicidal anymore and all of that means I made the best decision. But the fact that someone feels the need to make up lies about me because their life is so unfulfilled and boring is amusing to me. And it's kind of sad. Because I was the youngest of the bunch at age 28 and the fact that people older than me, who are apparently much smarter than I am, resort to this? Sad.
And I feel like even though it's been a transition for Matt and I, it's the best thing I could have done. And I'm happy with that. I'm sad that when I run into people it's weird and awkward and part of me would like to set it all straight- but then a bigger part of me knows I have moved on. And I know karma is a bitch and I only hope I get to see it in my lifetime.