Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween and Whoring Myself

It dawned on me that I never shared Halloween pictures with yall. SHAME ON ME because I? Have adorable children and the world must bow down to my obviously fantastic genes. And Matt's too but it's my blog so I'm taking 90% of the credit for their good looks.

 Jackson went as a lion (here he is..roaring) and Olivia was Minnie Mouse. Look at her- giving me a fierce pose. *so proud*
I am the one who hands out candy at our house because Matt hates it, and he takes the kids trick or treating because I hate the dark AND cold. It's a win win for everyone.

Every year I expect to get the religious fanatics who say I'm supporting the devil by handing out candy and my response is usually something like, I'm supporting the local dentists. It's a recession, yo. I was super bummed I only got one Mormon this year. I bet the super old Catholic lady from last year who swore at me died. Sad day. But the Mormon was even on his bike! I like bicycling Mormons- they just warm my little heart. Especially when it's super cold and snowing.

The only eventful thing was when a group of teenagers (17 and older), texting on their damn iPhones knocked over a bunch of toddlers to get to my porch. I am that lady who is discriminating when I give out candy. If you appear to be over the age of 12, you get nothing. If you don't dress up, nothing. If you don't have a bag, nothing. (What? Even poor people manage to get a freaking pillow case. Or plastic bag. To come with nothing is pure laziness and it's survival of the fittest up in here homie g dogs.)So I not only gave them nothing but I told them to get off my effing porch and get an effing job. Losers. And then the little kids got handfuls. Poor little stinkers.

Matt only took the kids out for like an hour, but combined with them mostly walking everywhere despite having my mom's wagon, both were exhausted. Here's Jackson at the end.
So Halloween was good. Thank god my neighbors stepped it up in quality candy. And whoever was giving out the full candy bars?? Thank you! I enjoyed them bunches.

Anyways. Let's whore me out a bit because hi- my kids would like a Christmas this year AND I can't rely on an obese man with questionable taste in fashion to come and just bring awesome stuff.

So you need to go to my Etsy shop.... HERE..... and buy stuff. I have a bunch of holiday stuff in there right now and more is coming. Trust me. More is very much coming soon. But the kicker? It's FREE SHIPPING on orders over $20. Go through the checkout process like usual, you'll get charged shipping, but send a message to the seller in your transaction- then I'll refund you your shipping. Ok? OK! Start shopping, whores!

13 comments:

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Seriously, your kids are so ridiculously cute. And good for you for telling those teenagers off, they sound like jerks!

Danielle said...

They looked sooo cute!!!!! I must say you do produce GORGEOUS children!!!! I can honestly say, we've never had anyone come to our door and tell us we were supporting the devil!!! What an interesting experience! Every time I see you posting about your etsy shop I think I should really start my own, but to be honest? I'm scared shitless lol! I wouldn't even know how to go about it!!! Do you make money from it???

Annah said...

Seriously you need to just put your daughter into modeling and quit the Etsy. She is gorje! :)

Not that your Etsy stuff isn't equally as cute. *muah* Kisses my little crazy.

Shirley said...

Too cute! I don't know if you allow blog whoring but if you do check out the Halloween costumes I sewed for my kids and read about my uterus! http://shirleysnewday.blogspot.com/2010/11/halloween-and-hard-decisions.html

Amber said...

Did you have a lot of trick or treaters because this year seemed really, really slack. We went to my BIL's house and in his neighborhood (65 houses) there was like, 15 houses handing out candy. Also, we had MAYBE 12 groups of kids at best to actually came to the house for candy.

Are kids just not trick or treating like they used to or am I just remembering my childhood more fondly than it really was?

Deeds said...

I was such a nazi handing out candy. I had to tell at least 5 groups of grown ass teenagers to get to steppin'. Oh and what was with the young wannabe prostitutes this year? oy. the most popular costume for girls 14-17 was the "my daddy doesn't love me enough" costume apparently.

Helena said...

I'm glad you put those obnoxious teenagers in their place! If you want candy, at least get knocked up first. We know those infants aren't really eating it, but they are so cute, the parents deserve a reward.

Just Plain Tired said...

Gotta admire your patriotism in supporting the economy and dentists this time of year. ;)

And yeah, teenagers shouldn't be trick or treating.

Ang said...

cute costumes!
I had kids come to the door that didn't even say trick or treat - then there was a girl on a cell phone (this was all in the first couple visits), so I decided if they didn't say trick or treat, I was going to make them... or no candy - little fuckers!

Lost said...

OMG you do make beautiful babies!!

I have never been trick or treating. I wanted to go this year but people said it would have been weird... But screw them, I'm doing it next year!

Mama Kayla said...

Sounds like you had an awesome Halloween!! Your kids were absolutely adorable!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Tell those teenagers they need to go have some kids so they can get some candy the legitimate way haha.

crazy ramblings of a tired mom said...

Your kids are super cute. And the whole candy bar thing, yeah I get that. Thats why we went to the good neighborhood to trick or treat. We arent going to get anything like that in the ghetto where I live.