So before I get into the worst slumber party EVER... I am showing you my creation for Wee Memories Pink Challenge. I had to do some birthday cards so here you go- it's practically throwing up pink.
Helena. The other day she posted a hilarious tale of the what you shouldn't do at a sleepover and it reminded me of my worst sleepover experience. And because I love Helena enough to go lesbian.... I'll share it.
I was about 9 or 10. I didn't really have any friends but was forced into friendship with a girl named Lona. (pronounced Lawn-a). Lona was two years younger than me and at that age- it's kind of a big deal. Lona had a sister named Lexi who was turning 16 and Lexi had a friend named Jackie. Basically- these girls were ubber cool. Not just because they were way older than us but because Lexi and Jackie had half naked pictures of boys. And they talked about kissing boys.
Lexi was having her 16th birthday party and Lona was allowed to have a friend spend the night... enter me. Now, it was lame because Lona & Lexi didn't really live here, they were visiting their dad (who worked with my dad... which is how a forced friendship works). Their dad and step mom were really nice and I liked them. I loved the fact that their house was huge AND it had a bar. Lona and I would play bartender all the time.
Anyways- so after Lexi opened her presents (I distinctly remember us giving her the game Boggle) we all headed down to the "rec room" which is code for a basement with carpet and furniture. And a bar. We were all supposed to watch scary movies, which I suck at, and I had a plan to pretend to fall asleep.
At some point during the movie I mentioned that I was thirsty. The fact that Lexi and Jackie both jumped at the opportunity to get Lona and I something to drink should have been my first warning. After a few minutes.. they called us upstairs to the kitchen. They were holding a cup for each of us and told us they made us chocolate milk. I'm reluctant but when you have two cool girls telling you stop being a pussy.... you chug it.
And you try not to throw up.
Because the chocolate milk?
Was really a concoction of chocolate milk heavily seasoned with oyster seasoning, cayenne pepper and dill.
To this day I remember what that tasted like and even thinking about it makes me gag. Oh-- but that wasn't all.
At that point I realized I needed to stay away from them. Unfortunately, I'm a heavy sleeper. (Fun fact: I've slept through fire alarms.) While I was sleeping, Lexi and Jackie not only smeared Vaseline in my shoes AND underwear (that I wasn't wearing) but they smeared it all in my hair. And Lona's. Lona got it worse because they did every part of exposed skin. Thankfully- I was in my sleeping bag and they didn't unzip it.
When I woke up I was crying- I had no idea what to do. Lona's step mom Julie helped us get cleaned up but made it clear that we should have shut the bedroom door. We never told about the fun drink. I went home as soon as I got cleaned up and I never spent the night there again. In fact... I don't remember ever going to play there again.