Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Whoring and Less Fat

 Wow folks- tons for me to get through because my little pea brain is overflowing with stuff to tell you and I need all the room I can get for just regular stuff. So bear with me.

1. OK- so a few months ago I signed up for penpals on Oh, My Darling's blog. And I got three, but only two ever write back. (Honestly? I think I scared the South Korean woman. It's ok- I'm used to it.) Anyways. But I've taken a special loving to Annahita, who is awesome and you need to read her blog. Because she has a cute doggie. Except now she has an Etsy shop (shop there right now) full of earrings. And they are only $5, whores. Shop now, and shop often. (But not before you shop ME) So I am a self proclaimed jewelry whore, so I bought the pair in the top left of this picture. But then because I'm awesome she sent me three other pairs. It's ok- you can be jealous.
Here's me wearing one of the pairs yesterday. They are so pretty and are so light you can't even feel them in your ears. If you love me, you'll shop her store (and mine). And if you really want to know- I would like the "girls-night-out" earrings next. I can even give you my mailing addy. ;)
 2. OK. So yesterday another lambwhore, Jennifer, whored me out like you all should be doing. You should check out her post and tell her you envy her because she? Is lambwhore favorite of the day. I know. I'm making that up and someone should make me an inappropriate button for this. Perhaps of a lambs vagina or something. (Nikolett! Where are you?!)

3. Hey! Do you remember my last weight update? And I said I kind of slacked off but I wasn't fat still? OK. Well guess what bitches????? I lost more weight. (Get on yo' knees!) I'm officially 162. That MEANS I am officially down 21.6 pounds from my original weight. Here's photo proof:
Ignore my hair because it was up in a ponytail but then the band snapped because my hair is so thick and they only work for so long. God damn China can't do ANYTHING right. Anyways. Look at me! Do you see the hourglass forming? Do you see my thighs not touching? Do you see no arm flap? Do you notice my arms are still tan from my massive burn this summer? It's all very exciting. I'm certifiable hot bitch RIGHT NOW. And for those who keep asking me what I'm doing- no- I'm not anorexic or bulimic. I'm pretty much only walking on my fuckmill (for those new to these parts- here is where fuckmill began). Sometimes I brave it and go to Curves but I've gone maybe once in the last 4 months.

Anyways. That's basically it. I still eat the shit I love to eat (guilty pleasure: Spicy Chicken Sandwich with no mayo, large fry and large coke from Wendy's.) (OH! And pepperoni pizza rolls... mmmm..) (And obviously... Dairy Queen. mmm) and I don't care. Then I do at least 30 minutes of walking either outside or on my fuckmill. But honestly? I got farther, faster, and longer (time wise) if I'm outside. On the fuckmill 30 minutes feels like FOREVER. I usually crank up some music and strut my ass on the fuckmill. And sing.

I'm sure Matt appreciates the singing as much as the neighborhood does.

So there you go. I whored out my girl AND I've given you a fat update. Mission accomplished.

16 comments:

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Ugh I need a fuckmill but there is no room for one in my house.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

When you said China can't do anything right I literally laughed out loud. And that is why I love you!

Amber said...

Girlfriend, you are hot. If I were a lesbo, I would fuck you.

And I can get down on a Spicy Chicken sandwich too. But I loves me some mayo....

Oh, and I am learning how to make earrings, and went out and bought a shit ton of stuff for them last weekend. Still haven't made any, but as soon as I do, you will get a pair.

Why?

Because you know I luff you girl!!

Holy Hannah said...

You are one hot ass bitch!! Nicely done.

jprp said...

you rock my world you hot, skinny, biatch xx

Canadianbloggergirl said...

Great job on the weight loss! I get weighed again in less than a week ...

The earrings are beautiful!

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

asj said...

aww you're amazing! I'm glad you liked the earrings!! :) AND I've been way slacking on blogging this week but I've been trying to keep up with reading - I'm so jealous that you saw maroon five, not so jealous of the assclowns you were surrounded by! ;)

AND you are looking HOT! 21 lbs - hot damn girl... I love spicy chicken sandwiches too.

Okay, worlds most random comment, over.

prettylittlereckless said...

oh man.... so I looked at your post on getting the treadmill, watched the video. hliarious. that dude is a BAMF because he just gets right back on after falling off. he's hardcore. then I watched it again, laughed harder and even snorted. HA. cripes.

I can't wait to meet you at the blogger meet up at Krysten's. :)

Kattrina said...

Wasn't our other pen pal from Hong Kong? Maybe that's why she didn't write back...just sayin'

21 pounds is awesome - I can't seem to lose five - I blame it on Halloween and my candy addiction and the fact that it takes me 2 hours to get to and from work so there is not time. Oh, and I blame my husband - marriage makes you fat.

Helena said...

pizza rolls are my downfall.

Aimee said...

I already follow anahita. I love her blog and little Oliver. I need to not spend any money anymore because I go through my once a month check (WTF is with that? why do I get paid once a month...it sucks) pretty quickly. Those are awesome earings though

Congrats on the weight loss that is awesome!

Annah said...

You're so cute babyyyyyyy.

I can't get enough of your "less fat" posts. You're all like, LOOK AT ME BITCHES. Look at how hot I am.

And you are, putica. And you are...

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

Congrats on the weight loss! You are looking fine!

Nicki said...

GOD DAMN CHINA CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

Hahahahhaa. I was strolling through your post all YEAH WEIGHT LOSS SARA'S A SEXY BEAST, got to the China part and BAM. Burst out laughing. It was like my grinch heart swelled three sizes that day.

____j said...

Annahita's earrings ARE awesome. I love wearing them. And I definitely just got hungry reading your blog, ugh! Maybe Aaron will go get me some DQ ICECREAM :)

Ang said...

Way to go on the weight loss!! I wish I could put some sort of equipment in my house, it'd be much more fun if I could sing along to the music... honestly, that would make a world of difference. damn gym.