Now that the holidays are over and I'm dropping blatant hints that I want Matt to start bringing me the decoration boxes so I can pack this shit up.... I feel like I can go back to my regular bitchiness. I don't have to be happy and nice because baby Jeebus was working his way out of a virginal vagina.
And so I'm back.
At first I had no idea what I was going to post about tonight. Today is the first day of Jackson's potty training and I am a bit flabbergasted that I have hardly anything to report. Two accidents and nothing in the potty which leads me to believe he can not only hold his poop like Olivia but he can hold urine too! YAY for future doctor visits. Hoping tomorrow we'll do better.
But then I signed into Facebook which is glorious because people are readily advertising how stupid and lame they are. Of my 239 friends I have five whose every single status update is letting us all know how much their life sucks. It's either their boyfriend, their living situation, their parents, their phone, or their friends. It's something all of the time. And all of them are under 25. And I think back and hope to fucking baby Jeebus and the virginal vagina that I wasn't like this.
And honestly? I don't remember being that way. Sure- there was the time in eighth grade where my friend asked out the boy I had the biggest crush on (she knew it), right in front of me (blatantly pissing on the girl code), and yeah... that sucked. But beyond that.... I don't remember a time that I was at home crying over a boy. Sure, I wanted to but my parents were more of the, "shut up and grow up you baby" type when it came to that and I've just carried that on as an adult.
So when these people are all like, "I wish you knew how much you hurt me" I just really very badly want to respond with, "Is it the herpes? They have cream for that." Or, "Waa... life is so unfair and hard!" Um, it's called school. It's not that fucking hard. I bet a third of your graduating class can't read and they probably have better grades than you. But it's the boyfriend/girlfriend shit. They date someone and by date 3 they are in love. If this is you? Then it's proof you don't know what love is in the first place. Just because you date someone, and they stop seeing you, and you cry? Doesn't mean you were in love. It means you're stupid and someone confirmed it by saying they don't like you. It's ok. It's going to happen a lot more. Even once you're married there is a good chance it'll continue. It just irritates me. Because really? If you are 18 and younger? You have not a fucking clue what a relationship actually is. Ages 19-23ish you start learning but it's not quite there yet. It's not until you are a self sufficient adult, relying on nobody but yourself for anything, do you appreciate what a relationship is and how much work it is. And I say this as a person who was engaged at 17, then again at 20, married at 22, baby at 23, almost divorce at 25, baby at 26. I get it.
But honestly? It's driving me nuts. Especially when these people are bitching that their mom won't let them go out on Friday night when I? Have real problems. Such as:
-My living room wall has a giant crack
-My laundry room is fucking ghetto as shit and I still don't have a working laundry sink
-I still have an outrageous vet bill
-My refrigerator smells weird and the baking soda isn't cutting it. There are no leftovers, in fact- nothing in there smells like the smell does. I don't know what to do and it's pissing me off.
-I just got my Social Security statement emphasizing I should be saving for retirement
-Which is difficult because we ate scrambled eggs for dinner to save money on groceries so I can pay the utilities
-Jackson and Olivia both need new clothes because again, they've grown taller and not wider. I would much prefer wider. I'm equipped for wider. I'm not equipped for taller.
-My webcam speaker thingie is ghetto and I need Matt's techie help and he's addicted to Xbox. Which is my fucking fault.
And this? This is just from today. TODAY you whiny bitches on Facebook. Seriously.
So yeah. That's kind of been making me a wee bit stabby today.