Monday, December 27, 2010

..And back to our regularly scheduled bitchiness.

Now that the holidays are over and I'm dropping blatant hints that I want Matt to start bringing me the decoration boxes so I can pack this shit up.... I feel like I can go back to my regular bitchiness. I don't have to be happy and nice because baby Jeebus was working his way out of a virginal vagina.

And so I'm back.

At first I had no idea what I was going to post about tonight. Today is the first day of Jackson's potty training and I am a bit flabbergasted that I have hardly anything to report. Two accidents and nothing in the potty which leads me to believe he can not only hold his poop like Olivia but he can hold urine too! YAY for future doctor visits. Hoping tomorrow we'll do better.

But then I signed into Facebook which is glorious because people are readily advertising how stupid and lame they are. Of my 239 friends I have five whose every single status update is letting us all know how much their life sucks. It's either their boyfriend, their living situation, their parents, their phone, or their friends. It's something all of the time. And all of them are under 25. And I think back and hope to fucking baby Jeebus and the virginal vagina that I wasn't like this.

And honestly? I don't remember being that way. Sure- there was the time in eighth grade where my friend asked out the boy I had the biggest crush on (she knew it), right in front of me (blatantly pissing on the girl code), and yeah... that sucked. But beyond that.... I don't remember a time that I was at home crying over a boy. Sure, I wanted to but my parents were more of the, "shut up and grow up you baby" type when it came to that and I've just carried that on as an adult.

So when these people are all like, "I wish you knew how much you hurt me" I just really very badly want to respond with, "Is it the herpes? They have cream for that." Or, "Waa... life is so unfair and hard!" Um, it's called school. It's not that fucking hard. I bet a third of your graduating class can't read and they probably have better grades than you. But it's the boyfriend/girlfriend shit. They date someone and by date 3 they are in love. If this is you? Then it's proof you don't know what love is in the first place. Just because you date someone, and they stop seeing you, and you cry? Doesn't mean you were in love. It means you're stupid and someone confirmed it by saying they don't like you. It's ok. It's going to happen a lot more. Even once you're married there is a good chance it'll continue. It just irritates me. Because really? If you are 18 and younger? You have not a fucking clue what a relationship actually is. Ages 19-23ish you start learning but it's not quite there yet. It's not until you are a self sufficient adult, relying on nobody but yourself for anything, do you appreciate what a relationship is and how much work it is. And I say this as a person who was engaged at 17, then again at 20, married at 22, baby at 23, almost divorce at 25, baby at 26. I get it.

But honestly? It's driving me nuts. Especially when these people are bitching that their mom won't let them go out on Friday night when I? Have real problems. Such as:

-My living room wall has a giant crack
-My laundry room is fucking ghetto as shit and I still don't have a working laundry sink
-I still have an outrageous vet bill
-My refrigerator smells weird and the baking soda isn't cutting it. There are no leftovers, in fact- nothing in there smells like the smell does. I don't know what to do and it's pissing me off.
-I just got my Social Security statement emphasizing I should be saving for retirement
-Which is difficult because we ate scrambled eggs for dinner to save money on groceries so I can pay the utilities
-Jackson and Olivia both need new clothes because again, they've grown taller and not wider. I would much prefer wider. I'm equipped for wider. I'm not equipped for taller.
-My webcam speaker thingie is ghetto and I need Matt's techie help and he's addicted to Xbox. Which is my fucking fault.

And this? This is just from today. TODAY you whiny bitches on Facebook. Seriously.

So yeah. That's kind of been making me a wee bit stabby today.

17 comments:

AmberLaShell said...

I have two people (there are more, but these two are especially bad) that are always talking about men (they are in their late 20's and early 30's) and they may or may not be in my family (they are) but I want to tell them to get a life all the time...

Jennifer Kay said...

Did you pull the little veggies drawers in the bottom out to see what's under them? I have found plenty a dead animal under there before. Actually like milk that leaked and curdled in the very bottom. Ugh, makes me gag.

Oilfield Trash said...

There is a woman code? hmm I learn something new every day.

Shirley said...

I think everyone wants to stab those people who put all of their relationship drama on Facebook.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I took all my daughter's friends off my facebook for that reason. Plus most of them are little bitches that are friends with my kid one day and the next they are rude and leave her out. Not that it's not maybe my own kids fault but I can only handle so much teen drama.

On the fridge, ours was like that. Smelled HORRIBLE. It was nasty disgusting water in the tray thing underneath. WHICH we found out after it died and we bought a new fridge and tipped it up to wheel it out of the house. Smelly water going through the kitchen...

I bought a PS2 a few years ago. Worse fucking present EVER. The kids were hardly interested in it and the man would just sit and play for hours. And the way he plays is by yelling and cussing at it.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I just don't get why people advertise their bad dating issues all over FB. Like for real. Maybe I cried over boys but I didn't advertise it on the internet. Duh.

Ugh, I miss the days when my biggest problem was stupid boys.

Gini said...

Don't worry, I hate people too.

Are you sure the smell isn't from under the fridge? I think you know where I'm going here. :(

SimplyStacia said...

So true about FB. It's the devil. I esp love the pic posts of what everyone is making for breakfast. Mine would consist of corn pops cereal as I have no time to whip up a 3 egg omelet. I pick my battles. Hope your day is fab tomorrow.

Visit me sometime...http://staciaflyingsolo.blogspot.com/

Yeah, I'm real good with html, as you can clearly see.....

Deeds said...

I got my hubs a XBOX 360 as well. it's like I physically hurt him when i ask him to do something not related to the game.

I think we're xbox widows.....

prettylittlereckless said...

ahhh facebook.... I'll admit I have a few passive agressive updates from time to time, but I don't think I've EVER posted about hating my life. Well who knows, maybe. But it's not a regular occurance. My almost 30 year old ex used to post multiple times a day how much his life sucks. (Which it does, but it's his own fault. Trust me. He expects life to just hand him an important job and to be successful.) Finally someone told him off and he's kinda quit with the lame updates. It was just for attention anyways. Although now he still updates with lame shit... gah....

Yay for return to bitchiness! :) I like sassy Sara!

Jackie said...

I hate people who advertise their personal lives on facebook. I really don't need to know all of your and your boyfriend/girlfriend's business. I have yet to have the opportunity to cry over a boy but I know I wouldn't go and post it on facebook! Some people are just so stupid/annoying!

http://jax9126.blogspot.com

Ang said...

one word: Amen!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

My friends are all 30+ just about, so they take their former relationship drama and channel it into work drama. Every new job is the DREAM job, so much better than the old job, the people are so much nicer, the boss is so much better, the work is EXACTLY what they have been looking for all these years!

Then the honeymoon period ends and 2 months in suddenly the people are cliquish, the boss bitchy, the work is nothing like it was described, relationship FAIL, um I mean JOB fail.

I'm sorry but when absolutely everything they encounter is THE ONE! THE BEST! you know it will just end in tears because no one & no job can live up to those expectations.

Beverly said...

I know how you feel! I went from 350 facebook friends to under 100 because of bullshit. I figure it's my account and I owe no one an apology for it. Block those bitches! I kept only people I really cared what they had to say (you made the cut ;)).
By the way threw my tree out the door the day after xmas and it felt GREAT.

Danielle said...

I hear ya!! Every once in a while I go through my "friend" list and clean house. I delete people that are getting on my nerves, and the ones that I really didn't want to be friends in the first place. I've deleted quite a few because I was sick of listening to their complaining. It's fine to rant (because there is a difference) and if it's on a once in a while basis or about different things. When you complain about the same thing over and over and do nothing about it, then I'm annoyed!!! If they only knew what was coming in life, maybe they would enjoy the time they have now! How ridiculous!

Anna said...

/rant
I've hidden like 10 people in the last week because they are fucking idiots. I'm sorry, but I don't care that your kid laughed again today (he's 2 - not news anymore). I also don't want to read about your fucking political or religious beliefs. It just pisses me off because you are clearly an idiot if you truly believe the universe is only 6,000 years old and the major problem in our country is the education system (yeah, same person). So STFU and get off my news feed. Thank GOD for the 'hide' option.
/end rant

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Does it count if I'm a mom of two, a wife, a full-time college student, and I'm bitching about not getting five minutes alone time in the bathroom?