Friday, December 31, 2010

And to close out your year.... it's Dear Sara!

Hey lambwhores! I have something kind of cool to announce before I get into my questions for the evening. So... I've been seeing a lot of blog awards going around and most of them suck. And since I don't suck I figured I should think of an award. And so I kind of did, but my girlie Nikolett, who made my banner, my button, and is my secret Canadian lover... made me the award.

Isn't it divine? It's clearly a fainting goat (appropriate). And so I don't know when I'll be giving these out. But as I read your blogs I'll be thinking about which blog really made me laugh my ass off. And then I'll award it. So yeah. BUT it's only fitting that NIKOLETT gets the first one. I mean, she doesn't even blink and eye when I ask her to do these things for me. (Fun fact- guess how hard it is to find a picture of a lamb vagina? I suggest you not even Google that. It's very upsetting.)

So.. let's get it on baby!

1. Is it ever okay to lick the snot from your baby's face? (this just grosses the shit out of me, but it comes from a story I heard a couple of days ago of a breastfeeding mother) Jigga say what? No. No- this is never ok. It's also never ok to pick your own boogers and eat them. I also think it's fucking disgusting that people will try the breastmilk to see if the baby will like it. Um, yeah. The baby will like it because it's all you're giving it. Jesus. Now, if the baby had to choose between boobie juice or Pepsi... then you taste try. But no. Don't try this. And while we're on the subject- I have a real problem with these earthy grainy whackadoodles who grind up their placenta and put it in pill form after a birth. I have read no less than three blog entries this month on that and that? Is fucking disgusting. Nothing about that is natural. Do you honestly think that pilgrims and shit were saving their placentas and eating them? No. At most they buried it and hoped the crops grew better. But nobody should be eating that shit. Your body expels it. Why don't you eat your own shit? Huh? No. It's all gross. And babies are cute, especially mine, but no. I would never lick my kid's faces or their boogers. Nasty shit.

2. What is your most embarrassing moment in public? Hm.. that's good. Well as a kid I sat on a fire ant hill and my mom stripped me completely naked on the side of US-19. I was like 2 or 3 I think. I actually remember where I sat, what the building looked like, the stroller with my brother in it, cars whizzing by and honking. But as an adult? It would hands down be The Poop Incident. Not only was it embarrassing to walk out of that bathroom covered in shit in various spots so the school secretary could see it, but then to explain it to the mom's waiting for us in the toddler class. It also would be filed under "memorable parenting moment". Seriously.

3. You mentioned that you left the job from hell so that you didn't go postal on somebody. What do you do at the new job and what are the people like there? My official title is Campus Bookstore Technician, and I work at the technical college I graduated from. I actually worked there as a work study while I was going to school and I loved it. I'm only part time, I have flexible hours, but I love it. Basically my job is to help organize books, order books, put books away, restock, help customers, merchandising, etc. Everything that goes into the day-to-day upkeep of a bookstore. It's only my boss and I, and we work really well together. She is, hands down, the best boss I have ever had. The people there are all happy to be at work, they all like what they do, they are all really nice and friendly. It makes coming to work a lot of fun and I miss not being there. It's such a 180 from my last job that being there makes me realize how completely fucked up that other place was.

4. I have a group of 5 friends that I would call my best friends. We've only become a friend group in the last year or so, and not all of the girls hang out/talk outside of our group get togethers and stuff. There has been a falling out between three of the girls and I remain friends with all of them, except now it's really hard because I feel like I have to chose hanging out with the one girl, or the other two. They both make me feel guilty if they know I hung out with the other one. What do I do? Well, I hate to tell you this, but this is the nature of girls and friendships. It comes and goes. I'd like to say it gets better with age, and since I don't know how old you are... that won't help. But I'm 28 and I will tell you that it still happens. But here's the deal- you need to figure out what happened, what exactly caused the falling out? I would bet my left boob that it was a lack of communication because 75% of the time that's what fights are about. So get the girls together and you be the mediator. Someone is going to get called out for being the head douche and that sucks. Nobody wants to be the head douche, but whoever it is needs to grow up and apologize. And move on. I think the problem is that people don't always know when they fuck up so they won't recognize it's them who should apologize. I'm a firm believer that if you feel wronged, you need to let that person know. Now, if they turn it around on you.... you probably don't want to be their friend. If they say, "Wow, I'm really sorry I didn't even think about that.." then you know you have a good friend who realizes that sometimes you just have to apologize and mean it. But you have to do something because just letting them make you feel bad is only going to drive you nuts and that's not fair.

5. What was your favorite 2010 memory? Oh that's way easy. It will definitely be the Kings of Leon concert in Chicago. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge fan of Kings of Leon, I love road trips, I love hanging out with friends, and I love Chicago. And this trip combined it all so you know it was going to be epic no matter what. But that was the second time I saw them live and it was so beautiful. It was night, it was raining, there was lightening behind them, I sang along to every song, we were covered in mud, I laughed, it was great. And I love their new album and am already anticipating a KOL concert in 2011. If they don't tour.... I'll be sad. But I think they will- you can tell they enjoy touring and they are amazing live.
**

Ok whores. It's time for me to watch a movie or something, write some thank you's and eat some ice cream. Next week Dear Sara will be done via webcam... so get your questions ready and email them to: slinkies_r_us@hotmail.com. Any and all, baby!

8 comments:

The Insatiable Host said...

Happy New Year you sassy bitch! Your banner is fucking awesome - I may need to whore around with your Canadian friend...it's likely ok because we're both Canadian right?

anyhow, personally, it's never ok to lick the snot for a baby's nose - or anyone's nose for that matter. Similar to how I had to explain to an 11 year old that it's fucking disgusting that I caught her biting her own toe nails. NOT FUN FACT: it looked like she almost enjoyed it. Narrorators Notes: Babysitter was now fired without pay.

anyhow, you lambwhore master - fuck yourself and have a great night!!!

xo

AmberLaShell said...

those were some great questions! I can't wait to see the one on video!

amberlashell.com

Jean Has Been Shopping said...

Lamb? I thought it was a hairless cat. Happy 2011.

Just Plain Tired said...

Gotta admit question number one will have me putting breakfast off for a bit. :) Happy New Year!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Oh my god that award is HYSTERICAL! And totally perfect!

kimberrleigh said...

Questions are great! And the idea for an award is awesome! Maybe my resolution will be to post more/more often so I can win it ;)

Jackie said...

I love the award! I did not like question one. That is just totally disgusting! Looking forward to reading more in 2011! Happy New Year!

prettylittlereckless said...

lol I'm guessing #1 has something to do with MODG? I love her blog, but hot damn- placenta pills? BARF.

and um- the poop story?? I now think I have to read all your archives like a stalker because that was hilarious.

you're lovely. You have the perfect answers to all these questions :)