And unfortunately Matt takes the most of it.
Which is maybe why, at the tender age of 30, he's getting gray hair on the sides.
Our conversations last night are just one example of how most nights in the Strand Homestead end up:
M: Wow- I like that red sweater. I haven't seen it in awhile. It looks nice on you.
(it was hanging on a hanger at this point on the closet door for me to wear it today)
S: Really? Because I've never worn it. It's brand new.
M: No. I swear you've worn that before. I definitely remember it.
S: Um, no asshole. It's brand new- I just bought it on Friday. It has the god damn tags on it.
M: Weird. Because I remember you wearing it.
S: Oh.. you're getting me confused with someone. Probably a girlfriend or something. I bet she didn't get hers on sale like me.
M: Nice, Sara. You're such an asshole sometimes.
S: Yeah, well at least I can keep my pieces of ass straight. You should maybe use note cards.
M: (giving me an angry look and ignoring me at this point.)
(This is the red sweater in question. It's cute and sparkly. And matches my flower clip perfectly.)
So at this point most wives would just end the joke there and be done. But no. I'm not most wives because I'm FABULOUS. Every time he started a conversation I'd somehow weave the "does your girlfriend like that too?" line in there. He was getting so pissed off and at that point I seriously can't stop myself.
Then we turned the conversation back me wanting a fainting goat. And every time we talk about animals I continually bring up the fact he was involved in 4H as a kid. Anytime I have a bizarre question about any kind of animal I'll ask him and follow it up with, "Come on, 4H.... try harder" or something. He gives me the look like he's so annoyed with me but is trying to humor me. And he usually never knows the answer to the question I'm asking.
My favorite time is when we were dating, and I asked him about the animals out by his parent's house. They live out in the woods and I don't do well with nature and shit, so I figured I should get to know what I could get eaten by. He starts telling me that one time he saw a huge animal... he suspects it was a wolverine.
Now, I cracked the fuck up.
Because everyone knows Wolverine was a super hero in a comic and video game. (And later on a movie.)
But REAL wolverines don't live in Iron River, WI. I National Geographic'd that shit and it said Canada and maybe Michigan.
So I started teasing him because let's be real- it was probably just a raccoon or maybe a fat squirrel or some shit. But he SWEARS it was a wolverine. Anytime he comes home and is like, "Did you see the tracks in the snow?" I'm always like, "OOH.. I hope it wasn't a wolverine!"
Needless to say he gets pissed off and doesn't think it's funny.
But it totally is.