Yea.. I know. I KNOW I was supposed to get this post out there yesterday but I didn't. Because, and this might shock you, I actually have a life outside of blogging. No- I'm not crazy, just stating the facts homeboys.
(True story: My brother in law came over, then my brother returned my Tucker Max book AND movie. And then I had to watch the movie. I love Tucker Max.)
Anyways. So when Krysten and I went to the Maroon 5 concert the other night we encountered our share of assholes around us. It just wouldn't be the same.
This lady was in the row below us with her son, who was maybe 10 or 12. Maybe. He was so tired that he actually fell asleep during the opening bands and we felt bad for him. Especially when we noticed that mom was getting drunk and didn't even have the decency to at least get him some water. Oh- but she got him some Mike & Ike's, but wouldn't let him hold the box. We weren't sure if she was expecting him to drive home or what but she was in no shape to drive. And at some point they got up during the Maroon 5 set and never came back. So either it was for sure bed time or she was lost and stumbling around somewhere. *Parent of the Year*
So the guy was with his girlfriend, no big deal. And about 10 minutes after they sit down I realize they speak no English. Which, whatever. I'm cool. I just can't really be your friend if I can't understand a damn thing you're saying. But once the openers start it becomes pretty damn obvious that they are making fun of both Ry Cummings and One Republic. Which, I guess if you don't like them I get it, but why fucking ruin it for me? Ya know? I don't like that. And I can listen to a lot of shit but eventually it becomes irritating. But when One Republic came on, Krysten and I were super excited, singing along, dancing, cheering, everything normal people do at concerts. And the guy? Fucking elbows me.
Oh, no he didn't. That fucker did not just do that.
Oh...but he did. So I did what an self respecting chick would do. I not only bumped into him causing his girl to tip her drink a bit but I also accidentally kicked him in the back of the leg.
Thankfully- he didn't elbow me any more because I wasn't in the mood to step it up. Which I would have because I'm not taking shit for a concert ticket I paid for. It's like- if you hate everything about being here, please don't come and kill it for those of us who are there to have fun. Whores.
Anyways. When Maroon 5 started is when he started his silent and non violent assault. That's right people- the guy had gas like you wouldn't believe. And I'm sorry- but I just can't compete. About three songs in I believe I told Krysten that I've got a problem. She's thinking this is kind of funny but I'm not kidding folks- my eyes were watering. It was like his bowels were rotting from the inside out it was so bad. And it just got progressively worse and worse. By the end I could barely even look to the stage because my lungs were protesting. It was just really bad.
So I had to endure it because there wasn't much choice. But you better believe that when he left? I tripped him. I stuck my foot behind me but in front of his. Fucker.
But it seems like I always get stuck by either people with obvious hygiene issue or general assholes. I just don't understand why you would even pay for a concert ticket if you are going to be a sourpuss. Or if you hate the band- why the hell are you even there? *I just don't get it*
OK lambwhores/goatsluts. It's Halloween and I want you all to be safe but have a shit load of fun. Get drunk and eat candy. I'm staying at home to pass candy out to the little punks in my 'hood. I'm not dressing up per say, but when I ventured out this afternoon someone asked me what my costume was and I just told them I was a desperate housewife. I'm pretty sure they were confused and weren't sure if I was serious enough. Matt is taking the kidlets out trick or treating and I told him to hit the house up with the popcorn balls twice because those are my favorite. The highlight will be rummaging through their bags for my favorites. :)