Saturday, January 8, 2011

As if I really had a life!

I bet you're wondering why I'm posting late, huh?

Well, it was nothing exciting. I had to go grocery shopping. I am not a fan of grocery shopping ANYWAYS but I have to do it. I spent almost an hour trying to think of what we're going to eat for the next two weeks and getting my lists/coupons ready. And I plan my meals based on what's on sale and you would assume the grocery store, knowing that demand will be high for things on sale, would stock their shelves accordingly.

You would also being assuming wrong.

I couldn't get my chicken on sale that was $3.99 a pack versus $5.99 because I can't stand the chicken boobies in a bag. Folks- that shit don't taste right. And I eat Wendy's chicken sandwiches every chance I get. The only chicken I can eat is the Gold n' Plump free range or whatever and you get 3 small boobies for $6. It's robbery BUT.. it's not chewy. Or stringy. And it feels like a breast implant and I would assume that's what a real chicken boob would feel like.

Anyways.

So I am pissed about that because not only are they out of stock, they aren't giving substitutions. Which, is kind of fucking whack homies. So, I'm chicken boobless. I go over to the frozen shit because Matt likes Hot Pockets (ew) and they were on sale for $1.99. That's the only time I can buy them because otherwise $2.99 for one box seems a bit high for what you get. So I go there... nothing. Awesome.

Then I went over to canned goods because they had tomato sauce for .49 for a 16-20 oz. can. AMAZING deal. I wanted to stock up because I use a lot of it. Yup- nothing. I had to the generic which tastes funny but I am not paying more than .75 for a can. I won't because that is wrong.

I go over to get stuff for tacos. I need seasoning and some sauce. They only have the 40% less sodium shit. Ew. BUT it's that or the generic stuff in the white mystery looking bag and I did that once and even Matt gagged. Folks- if Matt gags you know it's bad. So I had to get the less sodium. (When Matt saw it, he's like, "What's this shit??" and I had to tell him it was this or the white bag and he said we need to complain.) I move down to the sauce and they have like a million bottles of hot, a million of mild, no medium. We only like medium. Except...

I see some! I do! It's on the top back about a foot. I think I can reach. I'm reaching and then...

... I pulled a fucking muscle in the middle of my back.

And couldn't reach the sauce.

I decided right then that I had to leave because I was feeling stabby and I knew if I went any further I'd be crabby for the cashier and I don't want to be. So I go to the check out and I put all my food up there in the order I bag it. I've got a system. This fucking punk kid throws my bread to the end, so it's squished by can.

Homo you dinn't.

He DID.

So I had to give this 17 year old punk a lesson on how to do his job and how you shouldn't throw bread. Ever. It's a life lesson that will serve you in almost any situation. I can't think of a time where it would be appropriate to throw bread unless it's at birds and you want to be pooped on. Then it's ok.

I don't think he understand the crapness of having smooshed bread. And I was going to go further and demand a new loaf, but then I remembered I grabbed the last two loafs that were on sale. And smooshed bread IS better than hot dog buns being used as toast. (Which was my breakfast from today and yesterday)

So in the end.. I spent $81 for two weeks of groceries. It will be more because I still need to buy my effing chicken. And that means I have to go back tomorrow- and it's NUTS on a Sunday because the new ad comes out and let's just say the rudest people in town show up on Sunday.

But on the plus side... I think I have HALF of the money I need for my new van window. I only need like another $125 to do it. *sigh* So close..

16 comments:

Danielle said...

grocery shopping sucks. Always. I hate it. I'm glad that you almost have enough money to get your window fixed!!! If I had some extra dough flow I would sure throw it your way! :)

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Dude $81 for 2 weeks is still fucking amazing Sara.

Shirley said...

I get very upset when I have to go grocery shopping and the sale stuff isn't there. So I completely understand you. Except around here everyone is on food stamps so I would rather slit my wrist than go the first weekend of the month but after that its not too bad. Except yesterday an old man was totally hacking up a lung and you could hear the phlegm and I totally thought of you....strange.

Oilfield Trash said...

I hate shopping.

And I love how you call chicken breasts "chicken boobies". That is some funny chit.

Jax said...

I absolutely hate grocery shopping b/c since I still live at home my mom gives me the list and she expects me to know what everyone likes. She will put like cereal on the list and I tell her that's nice I don't eat cereal so do you want anything or specific brands and of course it's specific brands. I don't know why she just can't write that the first time. Anyways you're still doing good at $81. My family's groceries cost closer to 200 for two weeks and there's only 5 of us. Not sure how that one works?? Happy Shopping Sunday :D

middle child said...

I hate grocery shopping too. And shopping on a Sunday? Please tell me you didn't. That's only for the daring or the medicated. BTW - have you caught the new show (on TLC?) called, "Extreem Couponing?" Almost makes me wanna. I need a hobby and since crazy is my middle name,....

The Mrs. said...

$81? For 2 weeks?

Nice moves.

Also, it sounds like you need to show up for sales like any good Twilight fan would show up for a midnight showing.


Bag boy? More like Douche-Bag. Who doesn't know to handle bread with sweet tenderness? Go stabby on him.

prettylittlereckless said...

I'm kinda guessing you went to HyVee huh? These sound like some of the sale items my parents and I picked up today. (I went home to get my coat that I left and we ended up grocery shopping). If it IS HyVee- sorry to hear it sucks. The one I go to is really good and will offer rainchecks for items if they're not in stock. Can you do this where you shop?

Anyways- I kinda want to come bake you cookies. Sounds like you've had a rough week dear! No sleep, window thing, groceries... crossin' my fingers this week goes better for you!

Annah said...

Hmmmm .... I love me some chicken boobies. And alco chicken sandwiches from Wendy's. YUM!

Also, smooshed bread sucks ass.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

They don't do rainchecks?

I spent $190 for one week today. So need to get back to coupons.

Chicken said...

I hate smooshed bread, it should be one of the deadly sins. AND I also hate boobs in a bag, this is so effing gross to me. I refuse to buy frozen chicken, ever.

I think we need to start a window fund for you missy.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I always demand rain checks when they are out of stuff. Safeway is always out of stuff on Mondays which happens to be my shopping day so I usually end up with half my groceries & a stack of rain checks I make DH cash in on Wednesday when they are restocked.

Jen @ Dear Mommy Brain said...

Probably better that they didn't have the Hot Pockets... You'd be better off just throwing the $2 in the toilet, because that's where he'll be running shortly after consumption.

DB said...

I totally get the grocery shopping deal. I loathe it with a passion. My sister is the opposite.

But she's also redheaded and adopted, so we give her a pass for being weird.

AmberLaShell said...

I hate grocery shopping with a passion, and I really hate when something they advertise for sale, isn't on the shelves... sucks.

p.s. you have a blog award over at my place, check it out!

amberlashell.com

Eileen said...

schedule your shopping trips at the beginning the week, when the sales start not the end, or you miss it all :(. I have had the same problem