My quest for world domination, surrounded by chaos.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Hustle, Fat Ass. Weightloss Challenge: week one
It's week one of our Weightloss Challenge and I'm already hating every second of it. So if you think you can't join us and would rather be fat just know you suck goat balls. (I'm kidding! This is clearly the hunger talking.)
Before I get into the rules and guidelines of our challenge.. here is my really half ass attempt at a pep talk. (You should know I am fresh out of the shower and my face is still red from fuckmill activity.)
1. Every Monday you must weigh yourself. And take a picture of your cankles on the scale. And post it. Bitches don't scoff at me! Part of motivation for this is the shame and public humiliation! And if I'm making you do it.... then I'll do it too. Here's me this week:
I'm not going to lie- I did this three times to see if maybe something was wrong. I was expecting high 160's. BUT according to online calculators, my ideal weight (since I'm 5'3) is 126 pounds. Dude- I have a long ways to go. *BARF*
2. You cannot starve yourself or puke. Because it's cruel, gross, and fucking cheating. Don't be a cheater.
3. You post on Mondays with your weight picture (see above) and list your challenges for the week. My challenge this weekend was coming to grips with having to curb my eating. I fucking ADORE junk food. I'm sure my insides are rotting as we speak but it's so good.
4. List your goal for the next week. My goal is to drink one glass of milk per day and try not to throw up when the mental image of cow udders pop into my head. (Shut up, this really happens and then I think I'm drinking from an udder and it's all downhill from there. I'm serious.)
5. You MUST work out three times per week. A workout can include going to a gym, going for a walk, working with a DVD, etc but it must equal to at least 30 minutes per session. I did my fuckmill for 30 minutes with a walk/run combo (die) and then I did 60 crunches along with my hand weights for some arm exercises. I feel ok now but we'll see how I feel tomorrow because already my abs are sore. :/
Ok. So that's easy, right? Once you get your post up, come back here and leave a comment. That means that other people playing along can be motivators but more importantly... that means I can come and motivate/shame you faster! :) YAY!