Sunday, January 2, 2011

Only two days in and 2011 blows fucking chunks.

Yesterday I said I'd have a rant for you today and that one has been pushed to another day because today? We are going to talk about the mother fucking hoodlums who are vandalizing shit all over god damn Superior. But to get the full effect- please push play. Because I'm feeling like Antoine right now. Granted, I'm not talking about a rapist but the vigilante aspect is what I'm feeling right now.


I know at some point this summer I talked about the fact that someone was putting graffiti up an people's homes, campers, garages, cars, etc and one thing I can't fucking stand is when someone else feels like they have the right to either steal or damage something that doesn't belong to them. I can't stand it. I have absolutely no tolerance to people who give two shits about other people than themselves.

It makes me feel stabby.

But what makes me absolutely fucking HOMICIDAL is the fact that EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. YEAR I have owned my van (which would be 4 years- the thing isn't even paid off yet), I have had to replace at least one window. Why?

Because some asshole is shooting windows out with a BB gun. FOR FUCKING FUN.

This??

This is what I woke up to this morning.
 Yeah. Here's a fun fact about the 2007 Ford Freestar homies. Well, specifically MY van that I got a RIDICULOUS deal on.

It has a really bizarre grade of tint on the window. Which makes it hard to get it replaced because almost every place has to have it special ordered. Which yay.. I love my tint but not the fact that it gets shot out every fucking year.
So we obviously called the cops because we've done this rodeo a few times and know the drill. They come and that's when Matt discovers that every car that was parked on my street was shot out. Yeah. Including the poor drug users on the corner, they got both vehicles shot. AND they just replaced an entire door on their hoopty of a Neon. Which seriously? Trash the thing- you can probably by a brand new Fiesta for cheaper and less hassle than trying to find a door for a Neon. Anyways.

Last year when it happened it was in the middle of the night (my guess) because I heard a group of 3-5 snowmobiles going down a residential street screaming and laughing. Coincidentally, BB guns aren't very loud.

But last night, Matt was watching Inception in the living room on full fucking blast because he's turning into an old man and he's only 30. It's ridiculous. I complained about this on Facebook. Well I finally got him to turn the shit down and I heard what sounded like rocks or freezing rain hitting the window. It could have been that because it was really windy yesterday and we had freezing rain so I thought nothing of it.

Clearly- it was our windows being shot out.

And me, being all informed because of crime and court shows, made a mental note of the time and the fact I heard no cars. (I store random, seemingly useless information in my head all of the time) BUT while I don't know who did it, I can assume it's a neighbor because hi- nobody is going to just drive to an unfamiliar part of town to shoot up some windows and then drive away. Nope- it's some punk ass loser with nothing to do on a Saturday night in Superior, though we have a plethora of bars here to get drunk at, who's wandering the streets with a gun.
And after asking all of my neighbors if they saw or heard anything, I got the standard, "No, nothing unusual." And you might be saying, "Wow- didn't the cops ask?" No. The cops didn't ask because APPARENTLY a rash of vandalism in the same neighborhood over the last FOUR FUCKING YEARS doesn't appear to be a pattern. Way to go, police department! Even my FIVE year old was like, "I don't know who shooted our window, but I bet it was the guy who colored on that garage!" Seriously. If a five year old can see a pattern of crime, why can't people who are trained to do that see it?? Huh??

I don't know if I should be disturbed that the fact that someone walking around, at night, with a fucking gun, is noted as "nothing unusual". I mean, really? Are we that hick of a town that this is totally normal??

Anyways. I got the fuckers foot print. But before I could figure out how to make a footprint cast on my own a car drove over it.

So then Matt called the insurance company who right away realized this is becoming an annual January thing but can't do anything for us until Tuesday when they are open. Since tomorrow is some kind of fucking holiday or something. Whatever. I'm pissed. I'm driving around with god damn plastic on my window. I can't see shit. Poor Olivia is going to freeze her ass off in her seat since yah, that's her window. And the kicker? Is that my deductible is $250. Guess who doesn't have $250?

Don't strain yourself- I don't have the $250. So fucking FANTASTIC.

Fuck you, 2011 and my asshole punk that just shoots stuff for fun.

14 comments:

Jennifer Kay said...

Um dude? Your going to have to pimp some MAJOR etsy to get this whole Lenny/Christmas/Hood Rat Shooting thing taken care of or maybe you could just start selling yourself.

What the french toast is going on with you? Somebody has a voodoo doll somewhere.

AmberLaShell said...

I really hope they catch these punks.. I hate people who do this shit for fun...

amberlashell.com

Deeds said...

when i lived the ghetto I came home from vacation to find the same effing thing. I swear I saw red. I called the cops and was pretty much told that was what I got for living in the ghetto. I could strangle someone for the sort of crap.

Shirley said...

Shoot the little fuckers with a bb gun and see how they like it!

Oilfield Trash said...

That just sucks. I hope you find the little fuckers and beat them to a pulp.

Simple Dude said...

Shot out, like with a gun??? You crazy Wisconsinites!

Jeez... I lived in a shady neighborhood of Minneapolis for about 5 years and never saw anything like that!

SD
simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I don't even know what to say Sara. This makes ME feel stabby. And you know how I'm feeling about 2011 thus far.

I think you need to buy a BB gun and sit out front with it. Just sayin'.

Candice @ Fashionably Organized said...

This is the EXACT fucking reason it disturbs me to no end that my dumb ass BIL bought my 10 and 9 year old nephews each BB guns. Next year you need to get a teddy bear camera and put it in Olivia's seat.

Just Plain Tired said...

It's maddening how kids (I suspect) can't find anything worthwhile to do, but they always find time to destroy someone else's property. If you were to catch them yourself and beat the hell out of them sadly you'd be in more trouble than them. The situation just plain sucks.

Ang said...

what the fuck! Dude- what the fuck!?

That is so retarded. I'm sorry your year is off to a bad start, I really hope it gets better - that's so ghetto!

Jackie said...

I know how you feel. The other night one of the fuckers who has been breaking into cars around here finally got caught... in front of my house! I am just glad he was only running down our block to escape and not to break into the cars. Hopefully the PD will step up and actually do something (doubt it but it could happen).

Jean Has Been Shopping said...

I came - I read - I commented.
My wish is for $250 to magically appear in your wallet, and the perp to be arrested. Happy 2011.

Sadako said...

Ugh, that's obnoxious. :(

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Next year you need to set up a booby (ie?) trap and catch those fuckers!!