Monday, January 10, 2011

Winna, winna, chicken dinna

I won the same award on TWO different blogs. So I think this means I'm extra stylish. Which is kind of a joke if you've seen my wardrobe. I'm sure someone will turn me into "What Not To Wear" someday and I'm ok with that. I know I can barely dress myself.

EXCEPT (side jaunt..) I bought a super awesome bra yesterday. I broke down and spent money on my Victoria's Secret credit card on two bras and two pairs of underwear. But I bought one of those Incredible bras (and no, I did not spend $48 on a bra. It IS the semi annual sale. HOLLA).... and it's really incredible.
Unfortunately, this is not me.
And I really like it. It's ubber comfortable. The only thing is that it's a demi cup and for whatever reason, my pea brain can NEVER remember that demi = lots o' cleavage when you have a D or DD cup, depending on the bra. So all day I feel like my cleavage is getting out of hand. Like to the point where I think if I put out a tip jar.. I'd get some coinage in there. (Window replacement fundraiser?? MAYBE!)

But the other bra is just a regular ol' bra and I hope it keeps my boobs in and doesn't squeeze them to death. It's pretty much all I can ask for. We'll find out tomorrow lovelies!

Anyways. Let's get back to my post. So Amy and then Amber gave me this award. Both of them have different rules... so to cut it down the middle I'll give you 6 random things you may not know about me. (Disclaimer: this is not a "family" blog so if your are ultra conservative, a relative, or psychotic, please stop reading now.) (Thanks.) (And some of these may be repeats because I'm too lazy to look back and see what I've already put on one of these lists.) (Deal with it.)
1. I'm a math retard. Seriously. The fact I am working in retail is HILARIOUS because anyone who knows me knows I suck at math. It's painful. I can't do math in my head. When someone says, "18 and 27 is.." I will put on my face that says, "I'm thinking about it and trying to do the math in my head" when really, I'm hoping that person will figure it out or someone else will. When we do yard sales I HATE being the money person because I cannot count in my head and I look like someone the special bus needs to pick up because I'm loose from the home. I had to take a math test for my job that was timed and I did fine on the adding/subtraction/multiplication... then we got to fractions and decimals. I could only have 8 wrong on the test and the fractions/decimals section was 8 questions. I pretty much had to ace the rest otherwise I couldn't interview. Obviously, I passed because I'm working there but it was pretty touch and go for awhile. Totally embarrassing. (I'm a college graduate, yall!) But you ask me about commas and I am your girl!

2. I still own a 98 degrees cd. I know. It's embarrassing and I try to hide it when people come over. It's actually next to my Savage Garden cds. (Yes, I have both). SHAME.

3. I went through an emo phase when I was about 16. An emo/goth phase. The goth wore off but the emo hung around most of my sophomore year of high school. I was really into alternative music (still am) and I had Marilyn Manson posters around my room and I would sing to Fiona Apple and swear boys were stupid and I would paint my nails black with Sharpies until I could get my mom to buy me real nail polish that was actually black (without glitter) and I wore these pants with straps/chains on them. And I had a back pack that had all kinds of random shit pinned to it. Fortunately, I have no pictures of this phase. But it was there. BUT I don't think I've changed so much. Most of the fun parts of my emo phase are still here (I'm a punk rock chick at heart) but at least my "life is horrible and I want to die" portions are gone!

4. I hate trying new things. I don't like being watched by people when I try something new. This will also go as far as going to a new place I've never been (including stores, restaurants, etc). I feel self conscious and stupid.

5. I'm addicted to pearl jewelry. I love pearls. If I find something with pearls I will do what I call a "shark circle". I will walk around it several times, pick it up, put it down. Try it on, put it down. Pick it up again, put it down. I will do this until I buy it. I cannot help myself. Seriously- it's a problem considering pearls are kind of dressy. BUT I love them so. I just bought cute hair clips because of the pearl. Now I need to buy a shirt that matches so I can wear them. :/

6. I own 17 sex toys (I threw out a few, gained a few more.. I can't remember if I'm up or down in toy totals..) and I used them um... regularly. I like to watch porn with Matt but we no longer have a tv/dvd player in our room.. so we haven't done that in awhile. (We COULD watch it in the living room but our living room isn't really set up for that. It's a lot more fun in the bedroom.) And I'm trying to talk Matt into the pros of getting a Liberator. I think it's essential, he's not convinced. (But once the window is replaced in my van and the vet is paid.. it's a "need" and not a "want". Because I say so.)

**
So.. I'm not tagging anyone. Mostly because it's 7:30, I'm late with my post as it is, I'm tired (working a lot of hours this week) and I have some Etsy stuff to work on. Speaking of.... check out my shop HERE- I have a bunch of new things in there. All the money is going to the window/vet fund. It's the closest thing to a fundraiser I can think of. (Since a few of you keep telling me to have a fundraiser- you are more than welcome to think of a better idea and I'll help. Matt says I can't send pictures of my boobs for money. Sorry.)

13 comments:

Danielle said...

HILARIOUS BECAUSE I ALSO OWN A 98 DEGREES CD AND SAVAGE GARDEN CD!!! I wondered where you were last night lady, I always look forward to reading your blog. I almost called the police but I didn't know if I should call 911 in my area or how something like that would work! bahahaha!

PS your so fucking stylish you actually won this award THREE times, you stylish whore, you! :) I tagged you in this award on my blog as well! muahahaha!!! :) xoxoxo! Get some sleep! :)

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Um.

I believe I own 2 98 Degrees CDs. And multiple *N SYNC CDs as well.

Yeah.

Brooke said...

There is no shame in 98 Degrees...Nick Lachaey is uber cute.

Chicken said...

Can I give you a pearl necklace? Let me just go grab a turkey baster and we're in business.

Annah said...

I love that Savage Garden song, I would fly you to the moon and back if you'd be, if you'd be my baybeeeee!

Okay enough of that. You are the only blogger I know that blogs about her undergarments with such regularity. You crack me up, mija.

prettylittlereckless said...

dude I totally had to add the 18+27 in my head just because you put it out there. I'm pretty good with basic math, but beyond that? uh.... but I loved stat class? what?

oh and I think we're all a bit emo ;)

prettylittlereckless said...

ps- I own Celine Dion and just about all of Mariah Carey's previous albums. And when I was in 3rd grade I swear I nearly wore out my Hanson cd. Let's not forget 4th grade and TLC's Crazy Sexy Cool. Badassery!

Oilfield Trash said...

Nothing wrong with alternative music at all. I am so old I was emo back in the 80's before they had a name for it.

And don't feel bad about the math bit, I suck at math as well and I am a petroleum engineer.

Ang said...

I hear ya on 1, 2, and 4 - we could be besties! :)

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I have a Savage Garden cd somewhere, unless DH ditched it out of embarrassment.

I only have 9 sex toys. I feel inadequate

Jax said...

I also own pretty embarassing cd's (Hanson, 98 degrees, 3 N*SYNC cd's, and 2 Backstreet Boys). It's so bad. i understand the whole math thing. I completely just skipped over attempting to add 18 and 27. I'm too lazy to try and figure it out and I don't have enough fingers and toes!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I just got 2 new bras at Ross, almost $30 bras for $5 something. SCORE! Might have to start stalking their store, I always get down to one bra and that sucks.

Kevin Michael said...

Sorry. Didn't get past the part about the cleavage. You should post a picture and/or video regarding said cleavage....it would help with really forming a solid mental image.

I'm just sayin'. =)