Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I hate baby registries.

One of the reasons hate being invited to showers is registries. Now I get the point of registries. You are supposed to register for stuff you need and want.

I get it.

But what kills me is when I print these things off and I see that a person has registered for absolute shit. Tonight I'm shopping for a baby shower that is happening in March. I'm trying to be ahead of the shit for once. So I'm reading.. and this bitch has signed up for 5 packs of newborn diapers. Stupid. You know why? Because your baby will be bigger than 7 pounds because I know how many meals you ate from McDonald's. And let's face it- you will use those for maybe a week. Then move to 1's and sometimes you go straight to the 2's.

Then I see she registered for 8 packages of baby wash cloths. For those of you who don't have children- I'm going to tell you these are stupid. They are thin and they will not get the crusted vomit off your baby. Or the green stained ass from their poop explosion. Just use your own wash cloths. 

Then I see a wipes warmer. I can't even tell you how much I hate these. Guess what babies? Life is harsh. Your ass will recover from the hard reality of a room temperature wipe. Seriously. And if you think your baby won't cry during diaper changes with a warm wipe.... you are delusional.

I also don't understand why people aren't stocking up with receiving blankets. Receiving blankets are the best ever. They are the best burp cloths (seriously- both of my kids projectile spit up EVERYTHING.. these saved everything around me), they make great blankets to throw on them, they wipe up puke when your baby throws up all over a table in a restaurant. They make fabulous "boogie towels" when you have toddlers. Seriously. That stage when they get runny noses but don't know how to blow their nose. So much better than your cute shirt.

The other thing that sets me over the edge are the people who want the pink shit for a baby girl. Um.. what if you have a boy really? Or what if your next baby is a boy? You need all new stuff. And if that isn't wasteful I'm not sure what is. Go neutral for your basics homies. Get stuff you can use again. Come on. 

I know that first time parents don't really get it. I know this. So take a friend, who has kids, with you. Get the tips from them. Have them help you not look stupid. I usually buy practical things I know they will use. Things that I know from experience are awesome and you will be glad you have. I like to buy clothes that are size 9 months and up. Nothing is more frustrating than waking up only to realize your baby got fat over night. And you have nothing for them to wear without risking getting their head stuck. I get it. Been there, done that. Diapers that are the next sizes up, lots of wipes, baby food, etc. Stuff that you know the new parents will need at that moment they are the most broke. It happens to every new parent and it sucks, but it's nice to have stuff stocked up.

So yeah. I was frustrated. I ended up not getting anything off the registry but oh well. It was still a nice gift and think they will like it. The baby will at least. :)

30 comments:

Actuary Mom said...

I totally agree, some of the things people register for are so stupid! I took a friend with me for my registry to get good advice. But then I still did stupid things... I have BLUE stroller. what the heck was I thinking? I know what i was thinking it was on deep sale and the neutral one wasn't... so I guess if I ever have a girl, she will be confused lots as a boy. :)

Jennifer Kay said...

Not to mention that the wipes warmer just dries all the moisture out of your wipes and turns them into sandpaper?

I'm telling you, for the second kid I didn't buy a damn thing. She had a blue bouncy seat a blue high chair an ugly old boy car seat because after #1 you realize what they can "get by" with and that's all you really need.

____j said...

You're going to hate me. Because if I have a girl, I'm going ALL out with fru fru girly stuff, for real. And it absolutely doesn't bother me that we'll have to get all new stuff if we have a boy next.

Canadianbloggergirl said...

When I'm invited to a baby shower I stock them up on things like Tempra, Gripe Water, Baby tylenol/advil, vicks vapor rub, an ear thermometer. These things are guaranteed to be needed and they end up being quite costly (in Canada anyways).

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

Jen @ Dear Mommy Brain said...

So right! We told people we were having a girl so we got a bazillion tiny baby girl outfits and very few practical items (that were actually on our registry). My go to gift is the baby straight jackets. Because a swaddled baby is a happy baby.

Asha said...

I didn't do a registry and I swear nearly everyone gave me gift packs of shampoo and powder, etc. I don't think I bought powder EVER. Honestly, I think I still have a few bottles of it and my kids are 7 and 10. And you are right about the receiving blankets...they RECEIVE a whole lot of shit!!
http://www.ashafullife.blogspot.com

Shirley said...

Dude I get it! I always get everyone tons of onsies and size 2 or 3 diapers and socks. Because really everyone else is going to take care of the stupid little shoes and worthless gift sets.

AmberLaShell said...

wouldn't it be nice that on the registry is said, but what ever the hell you want. that would work. first time parents never know what they will need anyway.

amberlashell.com

Krista said...

I am with you all the way. I rarely buy anything from a registry because I know that half the stuff on there is a waste of money, and I'm not about to waste my own money on it.

Cloth diapers also make GREAT burp cloths! So much thicker than anything I've actually seen being advertised as a burp cloth.

This is great advice that you have provided! :-) I'm sharing this with my sis.

middle child said...

I'm sorry,...but did I just read a comment about a staight-jacket for a baby? Um, can't we at least let it grow up a little to see if it turns out to be crazy or not?

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I always print those out and then never get anything off them. I'm not buying a cousin a $200 car seat. Get a hand me down like the rest of us.

Oilfield Trash said...

HA. When I got married and also had my twins, I scanned useful shit at Target. Beer, aspirin, tums, and sleeping pills.

Brooke said...

Every single "cute and adorable" dress that was full of lace and buttons and hard to get on was never worn by my girls. Onesies and jammies are the way to go...but only jammies with zippers because nothing sucks more than trying to re-snap those jammies at 2am.

AP said...

I definitely want kids someday, but sometimes it scares the hell out of me reading mommy blogs or bloggers who are having kids. I will glad take any advice when that time comes! I'm sure they'll be glad a few months down the road that you thought ahead and got something they'll need later on! :)

Jessica said...

As a mom of 5 I couldn't agree with you any more. I think registries are dumb and I never look at them. Im glad you posted this!

~Darlene~ said...

I couldn't agree with you more! The idea of having someone whose been through it before is a great one! So many parent are convinced that they need so many things, as a mom yourself you know how to think of the things that she may not, your gifts will probably end up being her favorites! Whenever I am at baby showers I try to buy the things that they may not think of as well... gas drops, medicines, and other items that I have heard reccomended by experienced moms!

P.S. - I'm new to your blog, Kimberrleigh introduced me, I'm hooked :)

Organic Meatbag said...

I'm very pleased that I did not eat prior to reading your very descriptive imagery of boogers, shit, and puke...aye... what are you trying to do to me here?!

Amber said...

I know this is slightly off topic, but I am only bringing it up because I just ran into this yesterday. I really REALLY hate these over the top first or seond mothers that think that everything that happens to them in their pregnancy needs to be announced, discussed and disected.

I DON'T CARE that you were thinking about this name, but now you like this name, because that name is so blah and that name is so "yesterday".

I DON'T CARE that you have the BEST pregnancy yoga class while you give me a minute by minute play of what happens there.

I DON'T CARE if you found the best deal on a huge jar of pickles that you didn't even have to go to Costco for.

I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!

None of us do, really. We are just humoring you until you leave so we can say "What the fuck....I never thought she would shut up about that. She thinks she is the only person who has ever been pregnant in the world!!"

*sigh*

Just saying.........

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Okay is this her first kid? Because then I could see her registering for this stuff. Because I tell you what Sara, when I'm finally pregnant and registering for showers I'm going to have no idea what to register for.

Which is when I'll be calling you and telling you to do the registry for me, muah-ha-ha.

SpiritPhoenix said...

I tried to register for the smart things and for the neutral things. My daughter's entire room is done in green and browns as a jungle safari theme. Perfect for a boy too. But I still got tons of pink cutesy crap.

I tend to buy Boppy's for people. That pillow saved me more than once. I used it multiple times a day! And now, they make water resistant covers that go under the cutesy cover. Kinda like a rubber sheet. You can bet I'll buy that one when I get preggers again.

And if the bobby's already purchased, I go for the gift cards. Most people don't buy the big stuff, and even then, I can't tell you how handy those cards came later on.

I also like to tell friends not to register for a breast pump. Most OB/GYN's will write a scrip for them. I got a great Medella electric double pump for free!

LynC said...

This is so true! I always buy burp cloths and socks. Those damn baby socks are always missing and you can never have to many burp cloths. You need one minimum for every room.

SY said...

well...I agree with everything you said except receiving blankets..my sister stocked up on those things and she probably used like 5 of them.. so the other 40 are rags

Annah said...

I rarely go by what the registry says. Gift card to Target and voila!!!! :)

Nicki said...

Practical gift givers? BEST GIFT GIVERS EVER.

Danielle said...

I wish I knew you when I was pregnant and registering for my stuff because, Girl you would have been so proud of me! I registered for EVERYTHING 9months+. You know what annoyed me??

People bought me robes. ROBES. Like bathrobes for my little tiny baby. Really? A robe? I got FIVE of them! FIVE! I returned 4/5 and kept one, which still has the tags on it and I gave it to Salvation Army. When the hell was I expected to use this? We take the hooded towel from the bathroom to the changing table, dry him fast as hell and then lotion him up and dress him ... I'm sorry I'm confused where was the Hugh Hefner robe supposed to come into play? When he was walking around with his cigar?? I don't fucking think so.

I think people get so caught up in how much fun it is to buy stuff for a baby that they don't get you anything that they can need and they dont' register for the real life shit they're going to need right after the baby is born which is pretty much when everything stops being fun and cute.

Just sayin ... :)

salgalruns said...

You are brilliant to get the practical stuff. I always do as well. Cool new things are fine, but really? The kid is a newborn and will not notice anyway. My go-to gift for a 1st baby? Humidifier. Never fails that you are at your wits end when you need one and when you need one, you REALLY do.

Eileen said...

I don't have kids, and I know that shit! I would just get them something that YOU, as an experienced mother you know would be useful. I'd also put on there--'here is something that will come in handy' or something like that. Are they a close friend, someone you can share your umm...assistance with?

Eileen said...

oh yes another thing--I HATE the color obsessed nature of baby stuff. I admit that I made a pink blanket for my friend, but the yarn was on sale and it was the only color left. I'm almost certain that babies don't give a rats ass what color their stroller is, or their jumpy chair, or their high chair, or even that ugly outfit that they are puking on anyways.

asj said...

hilarious. love it and am definitely coming to you for help with my baby registry - maybe in 2013, not quite there yet! ;)

asj said...

hilarious. love it and am definitely coming to you for help with my baby registry - maybe in 2013, not quite there yet! ;)