Friday, February 4, 2011

Sexual Healing via Dear Sara

Dudes, we're not turning into a porn site but this week's Dear Sara post is all about sex. I have some hornball lambwhores with serious issues.

Let's get it on.

1. Will you mail me a snickers? I'm kind of hungry. Absolutely. Give me your addy and I will mail it.

2. How do I make my very own flux capacitor? I can't be 100% sure but I think maybe taking a bunch of speedballs would help?

3. Why don't you want to answer questions of the sexual nature? Oh I have no qualms about that lovely. See below for proof. :)

4. My boyfriend wants me to be on top, but I feel like I have no rhythm, especially when I try to have sex cowgirl or reverse cowgirl style. I also worry about how I look when I am on top, because I have a bit of a belly. What tips do you have for being on top, and feeling sexy and confident while doing so? The rhythm is going to be what does it for YOU. If you're on top... it's about you and I think the guy just wants to be able to see you in your best moment... which is orgasm. Now, I know that not only for me but for a lot of other women, it's easier to climax on top- mostly because you control the angle, the speed, etc. Nobody looks good doing reverse cowgirl and I get how guys think it looks great... but guys- it does nothing for most chicks. Nothing. You're literally hitting a wall and it just feels like your stabbing us with your dick. Which.. kind of kills the mood. And I have a belly. I do, I have a belly AND a kangaroo pouch. Embrace it. Seriously. The guy is not caring, he's not even focusing on that- he's looking at your face and your boobs. If it helps to close your eyes.. do it. Seriously. I was always self conscious but once I started having really great orgasms you basically don't care. You just want the guy to lay there, let you do your thing and occasionally slap. :)

18 comments:

Canadianbloggergirl said...

1. Love the cats in the background, they're so cute!

2. Love the way you say bastards

3. You had me roaring with laughter when you started getting all passionate about grooming.

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

Jennifer Kay said...

Sucking on dried pee hair? Come on, shut the front door!

Oh and I think I'm gonna have to Google this "more discharge when shaven" syndrome cuz I'm thinking that isn't true, there is just no hair for the discharge to dry on.

Ugh, gag.

Oilfield Trash said...

Ok I agree with the woman on top. I like it because well I can see her, I can slap her ass, pull/rub her hair, kiss her, suck on both nipples at the same time, and it is the only position I can get off in. Don't ask me why.

And as for the grooming, there is a reason the 1970's went out of style. If she ain't bald, I ain't eating out. Hell I would more than likely turn down sex all together if she ain't shaved.

And for those of you who say well men should manscape, and I do. I practice what I preach.

middle child said...

Lovin' me some Sara this evening. Thanks and enjoy your weekend.

middle child said...

Hmmm. My comment disappeared. Fail. Just lovin' me some Sara tonight. Thanks and enjoy your weekend.

nightowlang said...

Too funny! One of my other fave bloggers just did this one yesterday!

Via LindsayFerrier A bikini wax throwdown. Seriously. A bikini. Wax. Throwdown.
http://bit.ly/gwZhdC

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Hell yeah, being on top is awesome. The guy is definitely not looking at your stomach. At least I know mine isn't.

The Simple Dude said...

I wouldn't worry too much about the guy looking at your stomach in different positions.. Besides, he knows what you look like already - we are all what we are, so lets just get freaky.

I have had a couple women in my past get too wild and hop off of "me" while being on top and when they come back down it doesn't always go where its supposed to go. Meaning "I" get squished a bit. So I'm always a little nervous on the bottom - but it doesn't stop me from giving it a go!

SD
TheSimpleDude.com

AmberLaShell said...

a man "trimming up" is fine, but i dated a guy that was bald one time, and it made me feel like I was dating a little boy, not cool. I lol's at the puffy bathing suit. I have seen so many chick like that before! haha. great post this week.

amberlashell.com

Sara said...

You're the best! lol I knew all of that, but kudos to you for educating the masses. I remember having the same convo with my girlfriend about tucking the bush in the bathing suit. We were in the pool and she kept tugging and checking and finally I said, "Just shave it all off tonight. Problem gone.". She was shocked and then realized I was right. ;)

SY said...

Nice post.. I feel like I know you more now.. lol
:)

Amber said...

OMG!!! I so want to cuddle with Stumpy and Batman. I had a hard time concentrating on what you were saying because they were being so cute.

And then you started talking about blowjobs and vaginas and you brought me back.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

"Holy Fucking Whale" bwahahahaha

I think you're going to be famous very soon.

SimplyStacia said...

Yee Haw...that's our Sara. :)

Just Plain Tired said...

Now I know why I decided to wake up before 5 am on a Sunday. The insight and knowledge I've gained here is priceless. ;) I'll never look at landscaping the same way ever again now.

prettylittlereckless said...

hahahahahahaha...... Oh Sara....hilarious post. Yes grooming is key. Even for guys. I do not want to encounter a big 'ol bush either. It definitely goes both ways. Because I will probably gag if I get that whole hair in the mouth thing. eww.

Chicken said...

I don't understand why some girls are so self conscience in bed. Honestly, you're riding his dick he has boobs bouncing in front of him do you realllllyyy think he is thinking about your tummy? Not to mention your stomach probably got that way having HIS kids. Take it from me, an overweight pregnant slob. My husband is still all over my ass, and hello it's huge and pregnant. Men aren't looking at that they just want you to get them off. the end.

Eileen Ward said...

Your cats are hysterical and your accent made me laugh so hard. Can I just hear you swear for awhile?