Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Jello Incident.

Last night's post was pretty heavy and so tonight I want to shake it up and tell you about The Jello Incident. I hesitate in telling this story because if my mom ever reads it, my brother and I may get into trouble. But it's worth it because it was hilarious and we are idiots. But this year my Grandma made my kids the Jello Easter eggs and the story all came back to me.

It all started one Easter... several years ago. I mean, it was a long time ago.. maybe even 15 years ago. Holy cow. I'm old.

Anyways.

One Easter our Grandma made us these Jello molded eggs. Like these:
You see the big ones to the left? Well.. for whatever reason, Travis and I each took one and went upstairs with them. The upstairs to my mom's house used to be an attic but people renovated it and there were three rooms: mine, my brothers and the neutral territory room in the middle we called the play room. Well, the stairs to go upstairs has a weird ledge on one side but the ceiling is HIGH. I mean.. really high. So high that in order to paint it you have to have scaffolding set up on the stairs. So.. you get how high this is.

Anyways. So we each have this blob of an egg and we decided that it would be a good idea to throw them around like balls. Now, I'm like... 14 or so and Travis was around 12. Again, we were idiots. Travis threw an egg too high for me to catch and the sucker flew up and hit the wall... really high up.

And it got stuck.

I'll be honest- we panicked. Not only did we hear our mom scream "Knock it the fuck off up there" but we knew if she came upstairs and saw the egg stuck on the wall.. she'd be pissed. So we decided we had to get it down and never speak of it.

Logically, we found a yardstick and with careful maneuvering we knocked the egg down onto the stairs. Which was gross. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to clean Jello off of carpeted stairs without using a vacuum.

When I looked up I realized we had a bigger problem. The Jello egg stained the wall. Folks- that wall had a huge, I'm talking baseball sized reddish colored stain of Jello on it. We were going to die unless we could clean it.

Again, we put our genius brains together and devised a plan. We would take the Christmas shaped Avon soaps we got from Grandma at Christmas (which were never used but the boxes were still on our dressers), somehow attach it to the yard stick. We ended up using a ton of masking tape. Then we figured... the soap has to be wet in order to properly clean, so we got a soaking wet washcloth and secured that on top of the soap, which was taped to the yard stick. The whole thing seemed completely flawless.

I sent Travis back on the ledge (because he's taller than me) and made him scrub.

Unfortunately...

we failed to take into consideration that the soap itself was red and hey... the box clearly states the soap is supposed to turn the bath water colors.

Fucking FAIL.

We were now working with a stain the size of a honeydew melon on the wall.

Fortunately, our parents never came upstairs often so our mess went undiscovered for years. It was always this joke Travis and I shared because we knew if our mom knew what we did she'd be pissed.

Fast forward to a year or two ago and Mom moves her bedroom upstairs. I happened to get there right after all the heavy lifting was done and my mom says something to me about the stain, and did I know how it got there?

I told her it had been there since we moved in. I completely lied to my mom, but most importantly, she bought it.  I immediately had to call Travis and tell him and he of course laughed hysterically. And agreed that continuing to lie was probably our best option.

So this year when my Grandma brought Jello eggs for the kids I made DAMN SURE they ate them in the dining room under close supervision.

Sorry about the wall, mom.

19 comments:

Jennifer Kay said...

Please tell me she is finding out for the first time when she reads this blog tonight.

Funny now, but not so funny if she would have caught you 15 years ago!

prettylittlereckless said...

I can't wait until your kids are older and do shit like this :)

Ruth said...

My MIL makes those. Not just for Easter, but every conceivable holiday.
A long time ago? 15 years ago I was pregnant and I didn't feel old until...maybe now.

SherilinR said...

oh my gosh, my brother & i have so many things like this! it's one of the beautiful thing about having a sibling close to your age. standing firm against the parents is a bonding opportunity.

Jo-Anne Mother and Nanna said...

Isn't it funny the things our parents find out years after the fact, at Sunday lunches at my parents place some things have come up that mum and dad never knew about and of course they will laugh at it now but we know if they knew back when it happened they would not have found it funny in the least. Now when you mum reads this blog will she find it funny or does she not read your blog.......

cakeologist said...

The red stain on the wall made me think of 'The Cat in The Hat'

Oilfield Trash said...

I love stories like this.

Ixy said...

LMAO!! I love those jello eggs. I'm going to make them for my daughter once she's old enough to eat sugar (10 months old is probably a little early).

Eileen said...

awesome...a big ball of awesome. I have let my brother take the blame for eating my dad's hidden piece of fudge for 20 years lol. Since my brother always lied about shit like that anyways, they didn't believe him when he said it wasn't him. mwahahah payback is a bitch!

Ang said...

LOFAO x100000 - this is the funniest thing I've read all week! I love how you went through all that trouble and it didn't do anything but make it worse! Too fucking funny!

asj said...

hilarious!

Annah said...

You're stealthy, you.

High five!

Yesterday's Echo Scrapbooks said...

OMG this is hysterical!! My sister & I are just enjoying telling our parents some of the things we did like this. The shocked face is so much fun!

Steff said...

Hahahahahahahahaa that is so hilarious! I love it. I love trying to convince my mom of stuff like that.

____j said...

this is awesome!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Too funny! I guess you might be grounded soon ;)

Dana Leigh said...

That is hilarious!!

LynC said...

This story is hilarious! I remember when those damn molds came out, yes about 15 years ago. I was sick that Easter and ate a jello egg when I felt better. Puked it right back up, but that is the best smelling puke I ever had. Haven't had a jello egg since.

Carrie said...

LOL! This post is hilarious and brings to mind many things I never got found out about when I was a kid. :)

Stopping by from The Lady Bloggers Society!

Have a great weekend and a Happy Mother's Day!