... because my baby brudder is officially 27! YAY!
I have to tell you that my brother is awesome. He's a million shades of hilarious, I adore him to bits even though he did body slam me on a coffee table once (ok... a few times), and he's a great guy. If I called him right now and told him to bail me out of jail, he would do it without asking any questions. He might look like hell and obviously rolled out of bed doing it, but he would absolutely show up.
We're besties for life. (Folks- this will be the only time I'll flash boob for you. FYI)
Behold, the most amazing treasure that came out of my mother in law's attic that Kate tried to sell at the yard sale that I immediately knew belonged in my brother's bachelor pad he shares with his friend Phil. I just really hope they let a girl shower at their house before doing the walk of shame so this is the last thing she sees:
And of course, you know I can't stop at just that. Oh no. Oh hell fucking no. One thing I know about my brother? He loves gummy bears. More than he loves cheese puffs. So when I was watching TV in the middle of the night and saw this commercial? I knew I had to buy it.
Yeah. It really is the greatest flipping gift ever. It really is fucking huge. And heavy. It was also $42 after shipping so by fucking god- I bought his groceries for the week. So there you have it. Don't you wish I was your sister? Yeah. You bet you do.
So happy birthday, Travis. You are awesome, I love you to the moon and back, I'm mom's favorite, and I'm glad you have dental insurance.