Let me start this post by saying I'm married and I had a very lovely, very low key wedding. We had about 50 guests at the ceremony and about 150 at the reception. The cost of the wedding was split between my parents, Matt's parents and us. I think the grand total of everything was $6000 or less. And quite frankly? I look at that number now and think- what the fuck was I thinking?
For that money we have a gorgeous book of photographs we've only looked at once. I have a beautiful dress sealed into a gigantic box shoved into a closet in my mom's house I'll never use again. I have a box of mementos and things I thought I wanted to keep shoved into the far corner of our garage. I can't even tell you what's in there since I haven't opened it since I sealed it.
I have friends who are getting married, who are in weddings, and I see these shows on TV and I just think quietly to myself that 75% of them are going to be divorced within five years. What a effing waste of money. And really, what's the point? To out do family and friends married before you? To prove your fabulous taste in unnecessary things?
I have to be honest when I say I kind of look down at the people who feel the need to validate themselves or their relationship by having some outlandish wedding. I have been to quite a few weddings and honestly- I don't remember much from any of them. I remember what I wore (sometimes) and I remember the food, mostly because it's either really good or really bad. Or I remember who I sat with at the table.
I've only been asked to be a bridesmaid once because most of my friends had really small or destination weddings that I wasn't able to go to. But the one time I was asked I had to bow out because after seeing the $300 price tag on a dress, plus alterations, plus the $120 shoes that made my feet go numb, plus having to get my hair, makeup and nails done.. I bowed out. I offered to help in any way possible but there was no way I was spending that kind of money to watch the wedding but with a better seat. I got them a really great gift and helped with her showers and made appointments for everyone and I felt like I was better utilized in that capacity. But I really don't understand how some bride's have the balls to be so demanding of their friends. I was probably anti-Bridezilla. I let my bridesmaids (I had two) pick out the dress. I just asked that they be a blue color, I didn't even care which shade of blue. I told them to get whatever shoes they wanted, do their hair however, but just please be on time. And everyone was. I genuinely felt bad that the dress they picked out was $120. I mean, shit. That's a lot of money.
Don't get me started on Bridezillas. In fact, I am really surprised that some of these weddings even happen because quite honestly, that kind of behavior is unattractive and if I were a groom- I'd run as fast as I could. If she's that out of control over a god damn wedding- imagine child birth. That's all I have to say. Child birth.
I had a conversation with a friend who has a friend getting married and that bride insists that being in some one's wedding is an honor that people should beg for. Really? Because I secretly hope I don't get asked. I've made it known to friends that I just can't afford to spend that kind of money. I have kids, I have a mortgage, I have real bills. I'll get you a gift and support you on your big day and I'll even pay for my meal if you want, but please don't make me buy a dress and ugly shoes I'll never wear again.
And in retrospect, I really wish I had just eloped. Just our parents, a couple of witnesses, a simple dress and the beach. It would have been better because when I think about our wedding- most of the people who came? We don't talk to. They were friends of family and people that didn't really know us as a couple anyways. And that's where I think couples lose the whole meaning of a wedding in the first place. A wedding isn't supposed to be outlandish. You shouldn't be taking out loans to get married. You shouldn't be fighting over flowers or caterers or scripture. I feel like the over the top weddings is a perfect example of how the childhood lesson of the value of a dollar is lost. People don't even blink an eye at $1000 for flowers for a wedding. Unless you have the kind of income that can provide you with the cash to pay for that out right and not use a credit card or take out a loan, you should not be spending that much. It's just crazy.
And please god, don't get me started on rude brides and bridal registry's. Seriously, do NOT get me started.
So what are your thoughts on this? Do you think that weddings are over rated? What do you think about the high expense being in a wedding, not your own?