Monday, August 1, 2011

Vegas- Day One

Bitches, I have all KINDS of fun stuff to post about from my Vegas trip so hang tight.

So our trip started last Monday. My inlaws took both of our kids for the entire week so that was nice. And we had a pretty laid back morning getting ready since we didn't have to be at the airport until 11am since our flight left at 1pm.

 I have to be honest- I'm kind of looking awesome. My blue sparkly eyeliner and eyeshadow are kind of amazing. I need to wear it more often or something. And Matt doesn't look drunk so YAY. The other awesome thing was that I was not flagged by airport security. This was the first time flying that I didn't get flagged right away, I wasn't molested, and my bags weren't searched. It seriously is such a regular thing we are always there at least two hours early knowing I'll get held up.
 Goodbye, Duluth!
 Hello, Vegas!

So once we got to the Vegas airport, we had to hustle to find the shuttle people to get to our hotel. Once we found the shuttle people we had to wait outside for 30 minutes or so until the next one came back since hello, we missed the first one by about 30 seconds. Awesome. Obviously everyone warned us that the heat would kill us, and when I saw that it was 107 degrees I was kind of worried. But it turns out I'm either much more tolerant to heat than I already knew or the majority of people are babies. Mostly because 107 degrees with no humidity is like 80 degrees with humidity back home.

Finally our shuttle got there, picked us up, and we were off to our hotel. We were staying at the Luxor and I was excited because I like Egypt and stuff, and this was a pyramid. Little did I know that staying in the pyramid versus the towers is like comparing Motel 6 to the Hilton. I mean, the pyramid is straight ghetto. But we'll get to that.
 Our view from our window was a direct look at Mandalay Bay, which we didn't explore until the last day. Which was probably good because it made our hotel look like a complete dump. AND their pool was so much nicer.
 This is the view from our balcony. This is inside of the pyramid part so that slanted wall is the pyramid side. It's actually pretty cool inside and this hotel has the LAX nightclub and Liquidity bar which were both cool. We only went into LAX for a minute but realized we were much too old to be in there, and I was freezing inside of Liquidity.

So we decided on our first night we'd walk the strip. Now, I have a TON of pictures from my trip overall, so I won't post everything. I'll post them on my Facebook page instead. But can I tell you how excited I was to see showgirls?? Because I was. And I secretly wanted a hat. AND I was happy that my boobs were bigger.
 And I knew I wanted to eat at Margaritaville. One, I'm a Jimmy Buffett fan. Two, when we went on our honeymoon to Madeira Beach, Florida all we heard the entire week was Jimmy Buffett, which was fine because again, I'm a fan. So this being our first real week long vacation without kids since then, I thought it'd be a fun way to kick off the week. And oh my, was it.
 And me being a non drinker had to throw caution to the wind and get myself a strawberry margarita. And oh-my-fucking-god was it loaded with tequila. So much so that I couldn't taste the Coke I got a side drink. I mean, not at all. And I'm not ashamed to say I got a wee bit tipsy. And I also realized I don't drink tequila because tequila makes me feel like I have pokey things all over. Weird? Yes. I'm also sad our waitress was dumb and brought me a stupid glass (that you keep) over the 48 ounce blender cup. I WANT A BLENDER CUP. But, whatever. The food was really good, the atmosphere was awesome, and the strawberry mixer they use is heavenly. Like kool aid. YUM.
They also have a mini show every hour with a very pretty woman. She shimmies all over the place, does stripper moves on a fish hook instead of pole and slides down into the Booze In The Blender tank. It was great. So after that we hit up the strip some more. Basically, we walked the entire strip on Monday night and anybody who says you can't do it is a filthy liar. :)
 I don't even know where we are here...

OH! I saw a midget Elvis! I did. You know I had to get a picture. One thing I love maybe more than goats and various farm animals are midgets. And midgets dressed as Elvis? Bitch please. Except this one was kind of drunk and said he was having a bad night so I couldn't get a picture with him.
 And then we saw Spiderman just randomly walking. Which was fun because on Thursday we saw a super overweight Spiderman who was less camera friendly.
 And I'll tell you now we never did see the fountains of Bellagio, but I did see the volcano at the Mirage.
 And I'm not 100% certain where I was, but this is the ceiling of a hotel lobby. It was Bellagio or one near it... I think. I can't remember. But basically throughout the entire hotel they had umbrellas hung from the ceiling, but then when you got to the lobby, you saw this. It was pretty amazing.
 And we basically spent our entire Monday walking the strip.
Things we learned on our first night:
- You need a hell of a lot of cash to do much in Vegas. We had maybe a total of $500 for two people- not nearly enough hookers. Food is expensive (our tab for dinner with only one drink was $60 + tip and no appetizer). Cabs are expensive, so we didn't take any except for one time on Tuesday (more on that later), the bus is kind of expensive for what you'd be using it for, and if you want to buy something? Yeah, you need more.
- Because of this you might make the really sad realization you either need to win big on a machine, become a prostitute, or go to a timeshare presentation to get yourself some damn food vouchers.
- Which leads to you going to bed around midnight Vegas time (2am home time) only to get your ass by the shuttle bus pick up doors at 6am for said timeshare presentation.

Which brings you to Tuesday. Tomorrow. ;)

11 comments:

prettylittlereckless said...

Vegas totally is expensive, but that's why people go multiple times ;) I can't wait to see more pics!

Oilfield Trash said...

Love the pictures. Glad you two had a good time.

Dana said...

It's fun exploring Vegas, isn't it? I haven't been there in forever but the one thing I do remember is the strong drinks. Too strong that they taste like chemicals underneath the kitchen sink. Can't wait to hear more!

leesepea said...

That's the ceiling of the lobby at the Bellagio. Super gorgeous!

A midget Elvis?!??! Get out! I go to Vegas every couple of years and I've NEVER seen a midget Elvis. Totally jealous.

Can't wait to hear more!

Ruth said...

Nice pictures! It never seems like there is enough money when you go on vacation.

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Love the photos you really look like you had a great time I would love to go to Vegas........who am I kidding I would love to go away anywhere my girls are not.......I need a break but since we have just bought another car it is not going to happen any time soon.

BlackLOG said...

Vegas is one of those places where for the first couple of trips you don't need to go to any of the shows just walk up and down the strip and go into the hotels.

I keep trying to explain to my wife that there is no point staying at a really expensive hotel on the strip because you never see your own hotel....

Nicki said...

I've never been to Vegas and was on the fence about planning a trip, but that midget Elvis clinched it for me.

Kathy said...

that's the ceiling of bellagio; it's pretty, isn't it? i read somewhere that they import their flowers every few weeks and costs them more than i would make in my lifetime.

vegas is so much fun and you're right; it IS hella expensive. i brought extra cash with me, barely went shopping and after a few flashbacks and picture-referencing, figured out that i drank and ate most of my money!

anyway, at least you guys had the week to yourselves.

Ang said...

lol, can't wait to hear the rest!!

Jen said...

I love the ceiling in the Bellagio! We had an exhibit of Chihuly glass at our botannical garden a few years ago and his work is amazing.

And yes, you can totally do the strip in one day if you skip the stupid stuff and the far end of the strip. It's still exhausting, but doable. The best hotel? The Venitian. Almost like the real thing.