Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Six years.

WINNER of the Prenatal Pilates DVD is: (using random.org.. it said #6. This would be..... Kattrina!! I have her mailing information since we're pen pals through another blog!)

It's been six years since she went from this:

 to this:
 Today Olivia is officially six. You can read about her birth story here. It's true when they say you never forget the details of your pregnancy, labor or delivery, or the exact feelings of overwhelming love you feel when you first see the child you made. Though I struggled with post partum depression for her first year, I still look at pictures and my heart aches for all of the times I would pick her up and just admire the fact that I made this little person.
 And every time she hit a milestone I was so proud of her that I could barely keep it to myself. I looked forward to playing with her every day and hearing her squeal when she was over the moon happy and of course, her non stop giggle when I would bite her little toes.
 And god knows I've had my fair share of tantrums and parenting melt downs when she would refuse to poop for no reason. I've stayed up at night worrying if I was doing a good enough job or stressing about a decision I had to make for her.
 And as she has gotten older my heart hurts because I realize that all of the times I had said, "I can't wait until she's older so we could do ______ together" I should have been enjoying those moments at the time. They go so quick and sometimes I wonder where the hell the time actually went.
 I look back at pictures of times that brought me the most joy or the times that I felt so unprepared for motherhood and all of the memories come flooding back. When I brought her home I distinctly remember Green Days "Wake Me Up (when September ends)" was on the radio and it was a gorgeous fall day. I remember coming home thinking- all I have to do is keep her alive. And oh how I struggled.
But we're six years into it. I feel much more confident in myself as a parent and I at least feel like I'm doing a good job. Olivia has turned into such a smart, beautiful, caring, funny little girl and I can't imagine what my life would be like without her.
 She's losing the "baby" features and now when I look at her I'm taken aback by how big she looks. She is my little crafting buddy who likes to sing and tell me jokes. She's super smart and is anxious to get even smarter. She's a girly girl all the way and she is everything I had hoped for when I knew I was going to have a daughter. And quite honestly, even realizing I'm a parent to two kids shocks even myself because I don't really see myself as being old enough to have two kids. But I do and they are the best.
So happy birthday, Olivia. You light up my world in ways I didn't know a person could. You make me want to be a better mom and I enjoy the time we have together. I love you to the moon and back and even past Neptune my little Sunshine.

11 comments:

Ashley Kerekes said...

She is just gorgeous, Sara.

prettylittlereckless said...

aww Happy Birthday Olivia! and good lord... those pigtails.... LOVE!

Simply...Stacia said...

Happy Birthday to her :) Awesome thoughts Sara!!!

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

I hope she had a great birthday she really looks like you, they grow so fast don't they....

Dana said...

Cute tribute. Happy Birthday Olivia!

Ruth said...

Happy birthday to Olivia.

Ang said...

Happy BIrthday Olivia!!

Kattrina said...

Yay!!! I'm so excited I won the DVD - I will post about what I think as soon as I try it out. Can't wait!

I'm so happy we were paired up to be pen pals Sara. You are a great friend and I really hope I get to meet you one day.

Olivia is precious and you're such a wonderful parent to her. Happy 6th Birthday!!!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Happy Birthday to Olivia!! Just wait until she's almost 18, man the years just FLY by!!

Kathy S said...

She is such a cute little girl :)

____j said...

Awwy! Happy Birthday, Olivia!