... where you look at objects on your desk and wonder how effective they would be to carve out a chunk of your brain? Or when you really look at the wall and think maybe if you hit your head hard enough on it that maybe it'll relieve some of the pain from a migraine?
Because I suffer from migraines and have since I was around 12 or so, and it really sucks. If you have never had a true migraine you can't ever know how incredibly horrible it is. I am also one of the lucky few who don't even know what a regular headache feels like because I never get them... it's all or nothing up in here and it's really kind of disgusting.
Currently I feel like I am possibly high on Maxalt, the only pain relieving drug I have found, so at least I can see (partially) out of my left eye again but I feel fuzzy from the inside. Feeling fuzzy on the inside isn't as bad as it sounds- I feel like a human pillow pet at this point and that's not so bad.
I have tried vitamins, and they haven't worked. I have tried a few daily preventative medications that haven't worked and the only one left is one that can cause organ failure and/or schizophrenia and quite honestly, when I'm on a multiple day migraine bender like now schizophrenia doesn't seem so bad. I've had all kinds of scans on my head because I am convinced my brain is growing a secret tumor and it'll just show up one day. I have regulated my diet, I monitor my caffeine intake, I have a specific amount of water I know I need to have in a day otherwise I get an instant migraine. And I have to be precise because too much water will give me an instant migraine. I can't even take any kind of Advil or Tylenol regular stuff for anything anymore because I'm somehow resistant to it. I also can't take most pain medication because since having Jackson... I'm resistant to those as well. Which also makes for fun times should I need a medical procedure or even a filling on a tooth because guess what doesn't work? That would be Novocaine, peeps. I'm kind of hard core at this point and I don't like it at all. So I'm sitting here with my horribly expensive Maxalt knowing I can't take another one (technically) for 17.75 hours because you aren't supposed to take more than one in a 24 hour period.... but my head is pounding again and now I feel like I'm going to puke.
Looks like another restless night in the Strand household.