Thursday, December 8, 2011

CHICK-tionary (GIVEAWAY)

OH man. Oh man, oh man, oh man. If you need a book that is perfect to give to your girlfriend (Christmas, Birthday, Kwanzaa, National Popsicle Day, etc) then this is it. If you unfortunately do not have a vagina but instead have a penis and are confused by women lingo? You need this book.

CHICK-tionary by Anna Lefler
The Chicktionary: From A-line to Z-snap, the words every woman should know
Your bestie, biffle, and GMF rolled into one! You’re all over the definitions of “low lights,” “ruching,” and a “tankini.” But can you spot a “Mrs. Potato Head” when you see one? That’s where The CHICKtionary comes in. The CHICKtionary is a humorous dictionary of the words and phrases women use—and what they really mean when they use them. The book corrals more than 450 terms, including some you know (uterus) and some you might not (flexting), and defines each from the perspective of a typical contemporary woman—a woman who avoids accidental pageant hair, is frenemies with her robotic vacuum and only occasionally relies on her high-waisted jeans to hold up her strapless bra.

I will tell you I normally don't love books meant to be funny. I also don't really like jokes or when people are intentionally trying to make me laugh. It's never funny and I think it's dumb.

But I LOVED this book. I loved it because I can relate to it, because I say all of these things, and it's like I'm chatting with my biffle about these things. Yeah, that's right- I use the word "biffle" and if you don't know what that is you are A) a loser without a biffle and B) probably not a woman. In case you don't know what a biffle is, let's educate you:

Biffle, noun: Variation of BFFL, or best friend for life. Your biffle is your homegirl, your wingwoman, the top of the female friendship hierarchy- and you are the same for her. Your biffle knows where you hide your spare key, the home address of the guy who landed you in the women's clinic with those nasty red bumps, and the real story behind that thing that happened that time at the cabin. Not even your kryptonite guy (see also: kryptonite guy) can destabilize the bond you share with your biffle.

GENIUS.

I love how it's put together just like a dictionary, it's all alphabetical. I learned some new words that made me spit out my Pepsi and strain my already busted up shoulder, but I'm OK with that.
Another definition that made me literally worry that I maybe leaked some pee in bed? (Because I've had two kids- this could happen.)

Childbirth, noun: Part miracle of nature, part slasher film, childbirth is one of those things that has to be experienced to be believed, particularly the first time around. Like skydiving, you can listen to the instructor talk all day long, but until someone pushes your ass out of an airplane, it's all academic. Luckily, every woman's body is slightly different, so no matter how experienced your doctor/midwife/cabdriver is, there will be a moment when he or she looks truly perplexed by something happening between your legs. It's comforting at that time to remember that women have been giving birth for centuries and the body knows what to do. After all, it's as simple as slipping a cannonball through a keyhole.

The only definition I would add for a part two that I feel should never be left out is when someone says "Have a nice day". That right there? That's code for "Eat shit and die" when it's from someone who you know doesn't like you such as a frenemy. So Anna- please add that to a sequel, because it's important.

So overall? I loved this book. LOVED IT. I cannot emphasize how much I loved this book because it's beyond words. Beyond, people. Buy it for all of your friends. It's that good. (See what other tour stops are saying about it HERE)

But one of you lucky lambwhores are going to win a copy, so follow the rules and we'll draw a winner on Monday!

MANDATORY
*Be a follower of this blog and leave a comment telling me who you'd give this book to (after you read it)

EXTRA ENTRIES (leave separate comments)
*Share this giveaway on FB
*Share this giveaway on Twitter
*Blog about this giveaway

Good luck babes!

18 comments:

Life Love & High Heels said...

God damn I want this!

Ashley said...

I, actually, would probably give this to my GBF. (Gay best friend) Is that in there?? Hahaha

Shandi said...

i would read this book and then place it on my bookshelf...especially since it's all pink and pretty, it'll add some color. the thing is...all my friends have big heavy balls hanging in between their legs and would probably fart in my face if i tried to give this book to them. but anyway, yea...i want that thang, hope i win.

intotheninth.blogspot.com

Beverly said...

I would love to share this book with my BFF of 30 years

Beverly said...

I've shared this giveaway on facebook.

Beverly said...

I'm sharing this on twitter

Just Plain Tired said...

Hmmm... maybe when I was younger, much younger, a book like this may have been handy. Definitely sounds like an amusing read though.

Mine's a Keeper said...

I want this more than ever. Anything to make a girl spit out her Pepsi is exactly what I need right now. When I'm done reading, I would probably give it to my daughter's boyfriend. I'm pretty sure that he is going to be her husband someday and he's gonna need all the help he can get.

Mine's a Keeper said...

Shared you on FB. Oo, Oo, Oo, Pick me, Pick me!!!

justme5686 said...

I'd give it to boyfriend... he needs a translator sometimes.

Margaret said...

Oh I hope I'm a lucky lambwhore cause I really want this book! I would pass this one on to my sister because she so needs to learn the terminology. She's a woman and she's clueless. Ha ha!

Margaret
singitm(at)hotmail(dot)com

Carrie said...

I want it. And I don't want to give it away to anyone. :)

heathertlc said...

Sounds like this would be a WONDERFUL gift for a few ladies I know!

Thanks for being a part of the tour.

Steff said...

Ahh this one sounds so funny! I'd definitely read it...and then keep it! Ok, ok, I'd share the love and give it to my Biffle! I know she would absolutely love this book.

Ruth said...

I feel a little pathetic now. I'm glad you explained biffle cause I had no clue.

middle child said...

I'm an avid follower. I would read this book then save it to read again cuz none of my friends can read.

latanya said...

gfc follower

I would give it to my sister

dlatany at gmail dot com

Anna Lefler said...

OMG, thank you so much for having me and for this lovely post!

I love hearing that the book made you laugh and thank you, ladies, for the sweet comments!

Take care and watch out for those jeggings!

;-) Anna