Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Dry. Like a desert.

Before I forget, I've been asked... so YES I am bringing back Ask Sara. Submit your questions (about me, for me, life advice, whatever) to sarastrand9438(at)hotmail(dot)com. I put it on the back burner for awhile only because life is busy and you know how it is. But the never fear- I'm hear to solve your problems again. 

YAY. 

Anyways. So one question I've gotten a bunch recently is why I don't drink alcohol. First people are usually shocked that I can be so bitchy, sassy and sarcastic sober. Second, shock usually turns to horror when they realize that yes, you actually can have an insane life sober and without drinking. So let me tell you- yes, I am a non-drinker. Always. (OK, I've had a beer, and I can count on one hand how many drinks I have ever had in my life)

But it's not because I'm usually too broke to drink, but more so because my biological father is an alcoholic. I don't have a relationship with him and basically haven't my entire life, but the effects of his drinking have stayed with me. When I think about my dad I don't have any positive memories of him and that's mostly because he was drunk. And.. not so nice. 

I also have a few of not being in control of my actions. I don't want to have one of those nights where you have to ask people the morning after what it was you did and where your other shoe is. I think about the cost of drinking... and figure I could spend that money on something better. I have no problem being with a group  of friends who are drinking, but if you are going to get sloppy drunk and be over the top where every single person is staring at you or you are on the verge on puking in my vehicle? Deal breaker. I don't judge people who do drink because it's every person's choice. I will be honest when I say I lose a little respect for people, specifically girls, who talk about drinking for fun. There is something kind of sad about people who sit at home to drink. A glass of wine at dinner? Sure. Talking about enjoy a bottle of whatever on the weekend? Sad.

But here's the thing- I like knowing I can have a good time without relying on alcohol. How many people drink to have a good time and end up looking like an asshole? Lots. But the best part is I will never be one of them. I like knowing that I may be outspoken, sarcastic, sometimes bitchy, sometimes funny, but always classy. You will never catch me looking or acting like a hot mess. 

Ultimately? My fear is if I do drink... what if I slip over the line of casual drinking an alcoholism? Have you ever met an alcoholic who knows when they crossed that line? No, because it's a gradual move. I look at my family and all that I have worked so hard for and I don't want my kids to have a parent like my biological father. They deserve so much more and it's my responsibility to give them that. 

So that? Is why this chicklet doesn't drink. 

13 comments:

Dianne said...

i can absolutely respect that. my friends look at my like I'm a leper when i don't drink. sorry, i don't need booze to have an awesome time. I'm 26, for goodness sake. I moved past the drunk girl phase a several years ago.

Jandy xx said...

by writing that, you are one of the strongest, moral peeps i know, and so high on the awesome mum scale, its not funny!

Life Love & High Heels said...

well shit.... do you judge me for my occasional drunk night out? I have to say, I'm not reckless like I was in college, but I do like a good buzz every once and awhile. Drinking definitely is a personal choice and people that force others to drink are jerks.

btw- I noticed you have 666 followers. freaky!

Ruth said...

I don't drink much. When I do, it is only a drink or two. My husband used to be a big drinker, but not anymore. A friend of his seemed to blame me for the loss of his drinking buddy. Idiot.
It's important for children to learn that people can have fun without drinking.

Steff said...

This is exactly what I tell my friends when they ask why I don't drink a lot. My mom was an alcoholic and my sister is an alcoholic/drug addict and I see how shitty their lives are because of it. I can have way more fun without needing to drink!

Shannon McHale said...

I do drink, but not that often. And when I do, it's just a beer or two. I have this crippling fear of being out of control of my actions. I always think, would my loved ones be proud of me at this exact moment? Not if I'm a drunk mess.

E said...

I never drank until I was 21 and it was still sparingly. Eventually in college I began drinking more and had my drinking days. But my mother is an alcoholic. She is currently a sober alcoholic, but she has gone to rehab several times. I remember having to help her get unstuck from a t-shirt she was trying to change as she sprawled on the floor. She was never mean, just embarrassing. I wouldn't bring friends over, etc.

Now I no longer drink. If I do, it is maybe one drink with dinner out with friends and every time I decide to drink I ask myself "Why are you drinking? Do you NEED this drink or are you just enjoying it?" But I never want my children to experience a mother like that.

And like you said, I can have fun with being plastered and booze is expensive as hell...I would rather spend my money on something else.

Amber said...

I am right with you on this one. Not to mention I don't have the stomach for alcohol either. I have been drunk MAYBE three times my whole life. I also have a very close family member that is a raging alcoholic as well.

And I personally love the show that stupid out of control drunk people put on. I remember all the nasty details and insist on bringing them up at what I deem are the most apporipriate times. (IE: My BIL getting drunk at my 1 year old nephews bday party and while we are chanting "Hastings! Hastings! Hastings!" trying to encourage Hastings to blow out his bday candles, my BIL was in the background yelling "white power! white power! white power!" And he isn't even a redneck!!)

I should probably blog about that.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

My husband doesn't drink much because his dad was a raging drunk too. Mad for some horrible childhood memories.

RandomRambler said...

It is good to know I'm not the only one with the don't-need-drinking-to-have-fun-mindset. I've never had a drink nor do I plan on ever drinking, it simply doesn't have any appeal. What is so much fun about waking up hungover after being blacked out in your own vomit anyway?

Jo-Anne's Rambling said...

I was 40 the first time I got drunk and really I have only been drunk maybe half a dozen times in my life and I am now 49. I do drink but generally only have 1 or 2 drinks that is enough for me. I do not feel like I need grog to have a good time so I can so relate to that...

Carrie said...

Geez...wish I could've seen this post before my dumbass sent you a wine bottle Christmas ornament!!!!! You are awesome for not drinking. I, on the other hand, am not awesome. I'm a glass of wine a day kind of girl!! But I definitely don't need it. So that's good, right??

Eileen Ward said...

I could have written this. I'm basically in the same boat, only both of my parents and my step dad are alcoholics. Every sip of alcohol I take, I worry I'll turn into them, so 99% of the time I don't drink. If I do, it's only socially and rare at that. I have a "friend" who constantly talks about how drunk she gets, and I lose a little respect for her each time. Seriously, I hate it and just wonder what her future is going to look like if she doesn't grow the hell up.