Tuesday, April 17, 2012

People I'd like to shank: dumb parents.

My Facebook feed blew up today with people up in arms about the news that a kindergarten student was arrested, in handcuffs, and taken to jail. Now, as a parent in general but more specifically with a kindergarten student myself, I was initially appalled by this. I mean, at six years old that can be a fairly traumatic incident and it makes you wonder... did they stab a person? Bring a gun to school? What did this kid do?

Well I'll tell you. The kids threw an epic ass tantrum which included throwing furniture, ripping things off the wall and allegedly some of this resulted in the principal being injured.

Again, I was like, well... maybe they should have called the parent and said, "Hey, your brat of a child is out of control, come get her." If you read the article it says the school made six attempts at trying to contact the mother. Um, really? Six? And mom never answered? Well that's kind of bull shit.

The parents are obviously pissed off but my favorite part of this is when the mom flat out says her daughter has mood swings and this was just a bad day. Really? Because I have had mood swings my whole life and though I wish I could act like that sometimes, I don't because I learned from day one that kind of behavior will not be tolerated. I bet they are going to try to sue and that's lame.

But this begs the conversation- what should schools do? If you really think about it, schools are already in a tough situation no thanks to our government who are continually cutting back on education funding. Teachers are stressed out to the max and then you have parents who aren't even connected enough to be able to control their own kids. School is not meant to be a daycare for your kids when you can no longer deal with them, it's a place to foster education for not only your child, but all of the children.

What gets me is that there are so many parents out there that feel they either don't have an obligation to actually raise their children with consequences and/or accolades for their actions. They feel stressed out and overwhelmed by the job at hand as a parent and I fully understand that. I have two kids, I know first hand it's difficult to get everything done in the course of a day and still be a quality parent for your children and be plugged in with their academic life. But ultimately, when you decide to have children, no matter what happens it is your duty to provide your kids with every tool they need to grow and be functioning, law abiding citizens out in the world.

Which brings me back to the story. Now, I have a feeling just by the fact that they tried to get a hold of mom six times that this is an unplugged parent. I would bet my next pay check on the fact that this probably wasn't the first time this has happened at school. Quite frankly, I applaud the school for doing what they did because maybe, just maybe, that will scare the kid enough to do better. Doubtful since I'm sure mom is at home right now talking about what assholes the school are and that cops are jerks. You know what? Most cops are jerks, but I have to at least think that having to deal with mostly the lower quality of society can do that to a person after awhile.

So when I see parents letting their kids runs around like crazy and be rude as fuck out in public, or when I see kids be completely disrespectful to their parents and other adults, I feel like shanking the parents. Clearly you suck as a parent and you need to do better. Follow through with punishment, give meaningful consequences, don't fall into the line your kids give you. Parents are so afraid of hurting their kids' feelings or taking away things that help them fit in with their friends and that doesn't do them any favors. If I at any time my parents got a call from the school saying I acted like that? I would have been terrified to go home because I knew nothing the school would do to me would come any where close to what my parents would dole out. And it wasn't like they beat me, I can count on one hand how many spankings I've ever had and I can tell you what I did to get each and every one. But my parents took everything away and not for a week- I'm talking I'd lose things for a month. I remember my brother lost his bike for the entire summer. To be 12, a boy and bikeless? Your summer just shit the big one. But you be the never did it again.

So parents? Stop being fucking pussies with your kids. You forget you're the one in control. You forget you're the one charged with raising the heathen so if they are turning into rude as shit, disrespectful, law breaking assholes, that's directly because of you. FYI.

15 comments:

Jennifer Kay said...

And this is why I am in love with you.

Tina said...

Well said sista'

Tina said...

Well said sister! My kids are now all grown up but I can tell you I'd have tolerated this behavior from my kids for about a nanosecond, then the consequences would have been appropriate for the bad behavior, but would ensure the behavior was not repeated.

Shirley said...

I'm really going to try to keep this as condenses as possible. First of all. Why wasn't the mother available? I work. Chris works. But you can bet that the school has at least 6 different way to get a hold of either us or my parents if needed. Secondly, why do these people think it is okay for her act that way? From the story it sounds like she was tearing that office apart like she wa a gremlin. Not acceptable. I don't care how bad your day. If my boys ever did that you can bet that I would spank their little butts. I'm not a big fan of spankings and the older they get the less it seems necessary but sometimes it's just what thu need. Finally, teachers don't get paid nearly enough to deal with the bullshit and get physically abused. That takes them away from their other students. The fact of the matter is that far too many parents think of school as free daycare an they really need to start putting the worn in.

Ruth said...

There is a kid that is in my daughter's school district. She is older so she's in HS and he is still in MS and he caused so many problems throwing things and causing school lockdowns. School policy was that the police be called, though they didn't always call them. Kiddo was late coming home more than once because of his anger problems.

Jo-Anne's Rambling said...

Oh yeah so many parents are to busy trying to be their childs friend instead of being the parent. Children need to know if you behave in such a manner you will be in trouble, yes there are some parents who are trying to do what is right and best for their child and nothing helps but at least the are trying. Sometimes kids need a good fright in order for something to sink in.....

Life Love & High Heels said...

HA... "your summer just shit the big one". LOL. Exactly.

I am ALL FOR parents being hard asses. My parents were too. I legit got grounded if I was even ONE min late coming home. And yes, that happened. Perhaps that's where I got my amazing time mgmt skills.

But yeah- I completely agree with you- parents are too easy on their kids because heaven forbid the kid gets mad at the parent. GASP! I dealt with a lot of these asshole kids when I worked at McDonalds. You can bet I never let them get away with anything. Kids need boundaries.

Ashley said...

When I first read the story I wondered if the kid had some sort of mental health issue or is on the spectrum or something.

But, hearing the parents response, they're a bunch of ass hats. I still wonder if the kid has issues, based on the size of the meltdown, but it's the parent's responsibility to get their kid some help, not just chalk it up to mood swings.

Kim said...

::slow clap:: Yes, yes, YES. Spot on.

Diane and Chad said...

Bravo!! Absolutely my feelings also...kids need consequences no matter who they are to help them figure out exactly what the boundaries are. If the parents won't do it...someone needs to!
My son and I wrote a book together on parenting...same ideas! Want a copy to share??

Stephie @ Our Marriage Adventure said...

So here's the deal - I used to work in that school system (I don't anymore, evidently I was "too white" to connect with anyone) and I'll say this about them: that school system is jacked up. But they are jacked up because the parents are lacking. 5 truancies for a child in that system and the parents go to jail. That isn't to say there aren't some amazing parents, some amazing teachers, and some amazing programs but the reality is 99% of that school system is below the poverty line. It is the poorest school system in the entire state of Georgia. Not only that, but the biggest employer is the jail. Those kids do NOT have good role models and you can tell.

I know people think its jacked up to arrest a 1st grader, and I do think it could have been handled differently, but at the same time there is so much more to that area the news media isn't covering. Its sad to say, but most of those kids don't stand a chance of moving on because their parents and the system / society support structures around them don't have a way to help.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I read Andy that last paragraph, just to sum up your points after reading your post. He told me, "Why don't more people understand this?" So just, pretty much, we love you.

Ashley said...

THANK YOU!!
I felt like a total asshole for not being appalled. What was the school supposed to do?? I have no issues with what happened at all.
I see parents who just don't care all the time. It's ridiculous.

____j said...

After interning for 2 1/2 months at an elementary school, I would have done the same thing. Why? Because most parents think school = free daycare, and they don't have any responsibilities when their children are at school. Most parents could care less what happens from 7:30-3:30. And when a teacher calls them to tell them what their child has done, they don't believe it. EVEN if there is evidence & witnesses. THEIR baby couldn't possibly do......whatever God awful thing. And because they deny it, they think that there shouldn't be consequences, when really...if they would have done their job at home, it MOST likely wouldn't have happened in the first place. *sigh* Which is why I'm not getting a teaching job anytime soon ;)

Eileen Ward said...

AMEN! This is why I love you so. Awesome entry and oh so true. I once wrote a blog about why we need super nanny and it was basically that the generations before us were used to getting the shit beaten out of them, and parents today don't want to hit their kids, but also don't know how to discipline them. How should they since they probably were raised by schools and daycares and were ignored by their own parents. Anyways, we now have a generation of people who have no clue. Kids are just straight up rude now and there are no consequences for their actions. It sounds like this kid is bipolar. That's not a 'bad day' that is 'mental disorder' time. I'm not even being non-pc when I say that, as that sounds like really typical behavior for a young child with bipolar disorder. It's so sad to think of the kind of life that child is going to have.
Keep being a good parent--we need you.