Sure you do.
Well I will have you know that we actually have progress!
I think you can all remember what my back porch used to look like. Matt tried to get the concrete stairs out himself by trying to drag them out with his Jeep. This did not work and it only resulted in HUGE tire track holes in my yard and it moved the steps just enough for Jackson to fall through only every time he went outside. Matt told me he would have to rent a super duper jack hammer and that this was expensive (lie) and it would take him at least a whole day (lie) and it wasn't worth it.
Then I ended up working a ton of hours at work for two weeks and guess what? Matt rented that super duper jack hammer for only $50 because it only took him two hours to do.
And because I have this reasonable fear that if I didn't push him to keep going, our back steps would look like that for the entire summer or longer. So I put on my bitch panties and was making his life fairly miserable when he came into the house for anything other than water or bathroom breaks. And that resulted in this after day one:
Obviously, I was meant to be a project manager.
It's kind of huge, right? So then, the next day it wasn't as nice out but it wasn't raining so outside he goes again. And he put the decking stuff on. And I had him put one of the railing sections on so you could see what that will look like:
SQUEAL.He has to cut the last piece of decking that goes against the door, buy some stair stringers so we can put the four foot wide step landing onto the sidewalk, and then lattice so animals don't live underneath it. And something about trim? We also have to get some deck wash (???) and power wash the deck and then DONE.
Oh, and get rid of the concrete because ew.
But the best part about this deck is that so far, we have only the $50 jack hammer rental into it. Matt knows a guy who knew a guy who had this deck and then his wife decided she didn't want this color, she wanted something totally different after only having it up for a month. So they took it all apart and gave it to us for free so long as we hauled it that day. DONE. The other bonus? We have enough to do a front porch too.
I know, I kind of peed a little there too. Totally acceptable.
What isn't funny is that while Matt was digging and getting the steps out he found a lot of empty liquor bottles. We've decided that either the person who built our house or the person who did major foundation repairs to our house was an alcoholic. Either way it's bad but it does explain quite a bit.
What else? Oh, Lillian is still here with her friends. Matt will not let me smudge the house because he's certain I will fuck it up after the cat raping incident he was involved in that very much did not work. Which he probably is right because I don't feel qualified to do this. But we've noticed that if you are watching TV on the couch at night, and you've got maybe one lamp on so it's kind of dark but not too dark, you see flashes of light in the cubby hole. It makes it really hard to focus on my Basketball Wives show if this is happening.