So today is my eighth wedding anniversary. It's also the eighth year in a row Matt has rejoiced that he has made it another year to sit and bask in my awesome and everyone should only be so lucky.
You guys know that I am nothing but honest but sometimes I wonder if I knew then what I know now.. would I still have gotten married? The answer really is yes.
There have been points in our marriage where I have really questioned us staying together, maybe we should just get divorced, sometimes I've felt like I'm the only one trying to make things work, and the spark is hardly ever there, and I often wonder maybe there is something better out there. We truly are absolute opposites as people. I'm outgoing, fun, social and he is not. He is one of the most anti-social, un-fun people I know. And I'm not even saying that as a put down, it's just a fact. He really doesn't like other people and when I get him to join me with other people I am always on edge he'll come off as a jerk because he's not a jerk, he's just not great at social interaction. So it's probably one of the reasons he and I work- I over compensate for him.
But no matter how bad things have gotten or how low I have ever felt, divorce just isn't an option. And I'll tell you why.
When I said my wedding vows I really meant them. Every issue we have ever had has fallen into the better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health. Every single one of them. I get kind of annoyed when people who have lesser issues than we have call it quits and throw in the towel because if Matt and I can bounce back? Anybody else can. Because not only do we love each other? We value each other in each of our lives. No matter what Matt will always be a part of my life even if he walked away tomorrow and I know I would be in his. Though we'll never do that. We somehow make it another year every year and I don't take that for granted.
We know first hand that marriage is work. It is hard work. After all of this time I have learned that I can't change him and that means that he will never be romantic. He wasn't before and he won't just suddenly learn it. He is a terrible communicator and he isn't going to turn into someone who can express his feelings. He may not work on our relationship the way I think he should but he does it in his own ways, like when he randomly does dishes. Sure, he might do a terrible job but that's his way of helping me out and saying he knows I am frazzled. I've finally learned to appreciate the things he does do instead of focus on the things I wish he did better. And that makes me sad for all of those people who got divorced too soon and never got to that point, because this is kind of a good spot to be in. I feel like I actually found my niche in life and I didn't think I would ever get here.