Monday, June 4, 2012

Bridezillas. There can be no other catchy title.

I finally got sucked into the show that is Bridezillas. I've held out for so long because I assumed it was just a show about women at their worst taking us back a good 50 decades back into the past and highlighting greed. As it turns out, I was completely right.

Can I just tell you right now that I absolutely do not understand the phenomenon of weddings anymore. I don't. I remember when I got married and I got stressed out over serious issues. Like when our original church booked another wedding on the same day during the same time and didn't even tell us until right before we sent out our invitations. We had to scramble and find another one and we did, so crisis diverted. Sure, there were hiccups along the way and I worried about everything being paid for but there wasn't anything worthy of me turning out full bitch mode.

If you've seen this show you know that these women are out of line. They are downright verbally abusive to their future husbands, future and current families, their friends, people who are providing services for their big day, and basically anyone who comes along not marching to the tune exactly.

Let me be clear- your wedding? Isn't a big deal. It really isn't. The facts are that it's one day out of several in your life. Statistically, you're probably going to get divorced anyway so it really doesn't matter. Do you really think ANYBODY cares what your favors are? If you release doves versus blow bubbles? If your shoes are 3 or 4 inches high? Do you think anybody gives a shit about a choreographed first dance?

No.

They care about your food. Nobody ever says "Wow, so and so had the BEST wedding programs!". Nope. But they will remember if you had decent food or not. They will remember your drunk uncle slapping bridesmaids asses. They will remember the antics of the bride and groom.

To see people spend thousands of dollars on one day? Quite honestly it's the definition of greed and irresponsibility. I saw one woman guilt her parents into taking out a second mortgage on their home so she could have extras on her big day. I remember feeling guilty as hell deciding on a dress that was $500. I curbed every expense I could and ended up making a lot of stuff myself because I couldn't ask my parents to pay for any more than they already were. And what's it for? A few hours that you probably won't remember because you know you're drinking more wine than you should be?

To see women act like fucking heathens over a wedding? It's disgraceful. Why would any man want to marry a woman who acts like this, even once? Let me tell you something, if I were planning a wedding and Matt yelled at his best man? It would have been off. If he had yelled at the DJ or the size of speakers? It would have been off. You know why? Because it's a sign of how they really are.

And can I just be snarky bitch for a minute? Not one of the brides I saw on 7 episodes of this show were attractive. Not one of them seemed to have any appealing qualities. Not one of them had anything that would make me want to be a friend to them. In fact, they were all that girl that I'd be muttering under my breath to my friend, "Can you believe this fucking bitch? Holy jesus."

So if you are currently planning a wedding let me tell you that when you sum up your life? The details of your wedding day will be meaningless. I'm still debating on throwing out my unity candle because really, who fucking cares? Why am I keeping this shit? All that matters is that people see you are in love, you are enjoying life, you are grateful that people come to witness your day and spend money on gifts. Don't be a rude ass and impolite bitch and make other people wish they didn't even know you.

10 comments:

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

I used to watch it religiously until it got to be too much and I think it's staged.

Danielle said...

AGREED!!!!! I've honestly only watched the show twice and couldn't take anymore. You are so right about the over the top weddings, but at the end of the day if they are that worried about having all that extra shit chances are it's to cover up that their entire relationship is a sham.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I have never watched the show tried to once but I got so annoyed, mad and frustrated with the brides that I just couldn't watch it.....lol

kimberrleigh said...

Oh girl, let me tell you. My sister and I watch Say Yes to the Dress and SYTTD: Bridesmaids and we flip out all the time. First of all, why the hell does a bride need a $5,000 dress? That's a downpayment on a car. Let's get serious.
Then there's the bitch bridesmaids - I'm sorry, I appreciate your input but don't be a c-u-n-t when it isn't your wedding. And then there's the psycho brides that make bridesmaids buy $500+ dresses. HELL NO. I would never want to do that.


Anyways, yes. I agree with you. I get quite twitchy when I watch these shows.

Ruth said...

Hey, you have a unity candle and you are still married! Honeyman and I were talking about that awhile back and he mentioned every wedding he had ever been to where there was a unity candle, the couple ended up divorced. One wedding we went to, they couldn't even get it to light. That was a big sign right there.
Now the big thing seems to be sand in a jar. Watching that gave me a Johnny Depp singing about a jar of dirt moment.
Anywho- saw part of a show once and 5 minutes was enough to wonder how this woman got a man to want to marry her.

Life Love & High Heels said...

I used to tolerate this show, just for it's trainwreck brides. Now I can't even stand it. It's too negative and seeing these trailer trash whores acting all ENTITLED, well, it just reminds me of Sam.

Frankly, this is why I am planning on having the SMALLEST wedding possible someday. People might hate me, but honestly- I really just want it to be immediate family and maaaaybe my closest friends. I'm even debating on that right now. I want a small "ceremony", preferably outside and then just a fancy dinner afterwards. No dance. No massive guest list etc. Because you're right- no one gives a shit about your wedding. A big wedding seems like the most unappealing thing to me. It's between you and your significant other. No one else. Heck, even eloping sounds good.

Amy said...

i was skimming through channels and saw it on the other night... OMG... i hope i never turn into that. my fiancé was watching with me and he's like wow... haha

Ashley said...

We're in the middle of wedding planning - hooray...

My preference would have been a summertime backyard bbq kind of thing with our closest friends and family. Instead it's turning into a fancy monstrosity in a hotel ballroom with 190 people on the guest list.

My husband to be is the fancy pants in this relationship. And I'm just rollin' with it because arguing over one day isn't worth it.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

Andy and I were just talking about this the other day. I was like, "Is anyone going to be like... remember that AWESOME steak we had at a wedding? The answer is no." He agreed, he said he could barely remember anything about any of the 5 weddings we went to last year.

Eileen Ward said...

best 'advice' my husband gave me on the topic was "a wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime." I've never regretted eloping. I missed out on the white dress, more friends, family and any pictures but I also missed out on the expense we couldn't afford, time we didn't have, stress we didn't want, and my family around which would have driven one of us nuts!