Thursday, June 14, 2012

Why People In The Country Drive Me Nuts.

Before I get into a well overdue rant that I know you all miss, we need to do the giveaway winner for the book The Exceptionals. Random.org has given me the number 6. Which is...

SHIRLEY!

So yay!

But on to the rant.

I live in an area where a fairly large number of people live "in the country". I don't understand why people would want to live out in the country, the perk of warmer weather isn't enough to mitigate the fact that there are more bugs and wildlife. I'm not a fan of either of these things.

But the biggest complaint I have of people who live in the country is that the bitch about "coming into town". Seriously. You'd think the commute from their home to town is like pioneers hitching their wagons and going across the Oregon Trail. You invite people to something on a Saturday and god FORBID they live in the country because you'll inevitably hear, "Oh.. well then I'd have to come into town..." Um yeah. That's because everything worth your time is in town.

I couldn't live in the country because I don't know what life would be like without impulsive and unnecessary trips to Target. Or late night french fry cravings? How do you deal with that? Pull out a potato from your garden and hope that does it? Every trip into town requires planning, it's not like you can just run back home to get something or drop your groceries off. Plus, on every drive you have to dodge deer.

Have you ever driven for awhile in the country? Every time I do my anxiety is through the fucking roof constantly being on the lookout for rogue and suicidal wildlife that just hate their lives and want to be killed via minivan.

You know what else I notice? Is that some of the poorest people I know are living out in the country. In trailers. Seriously. Then they complain of the price of gas. And I can't even feel sorry for you because you willingly moved yourself out there like an idiot.

Also? Living in the country should not be a reason to not make it into work on snow days. Seriously. Again, you choose to live out there knowing you will get a lot of snow. It's just like if you chose to live next to the ocean- you lose all ability to complain about hurricanes ruining your home. I kind of don't feel bad for you- you know there will be hurricanes and you know that means your house will either blow away or get flooded. You are a special brand of stupid if you still chose to live there.

So if you are one of those people who live in the country, please know that you are annoying when you bitch about your drive, how early you have to get up to get to work on time, how much you pay for gas, or complain that you are missing out on life because you're a buzzkill and have to leave before it gets dark for fear of rogue, suicidal animals as mentioned above.

There is a reason why every summer I am sensitive to country people and their non stop bitching about driving into town. I so wish I could detail the reason, but I can't. I'm sorry. Just know it's amazing and my in person rant on it is pretty awesome.

7 comments:

Kim said...

I live in the country, NOT by choice, and I effing hate it! I grew up in the 'burbs, and this is just not working for me. It takes us over half an hour to get to a grocery store...ANY grocery store...ugh.

____j said...

So, I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm 'from the country'. ;) I don't think I ever complained about going into town, but I've definitely heard it before. I love where I'm from, but I don't think I'd want to live there again until....maybe I'm old? It's definitely not for everyone, but I love it!

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I could never, ever live in the country. My ex boyfriend lived in a small farming town in Nebraska and I DREADED visiting. There was like, a Pizza Hut and a gas station. That's it. And everyone was related. Creepy.

Ashley said...

I grew up in the city, and now live in the country and love love love it. I love that it's so far "from town". I love that I live on a dirt road and that it's quieter and that there's coyote poop in my backyard.

I love that I can walk down the road for 10 minutes and take my dog for a swim in the creek, I love that I don't have to build a fence to keep her safe from cars because there really just aren't that many cars.

"Town" is only 20 minutes from us, so we're not as country and you can get, and we have never NEVER turned down a social opportunity because it was in town.

This comment is getting long, but I just want to say....I love my snow days ;)

Julie Taylor said...

I live in the country (and not in a bloody trailer!!), but I am not one of the ones that bitch about having to drive the 25 minutes in to town. Why? Because it takes that long to get anywhere in a big city anyway, wth?! I honestly believe the country people that complain about how long it takes to get anywhere have actually never spent any amount of time in a big city. Hicks anyway :p -Ranchermom-

Kattrina said...

Haha, that's funny, I love the country! I live in the suburbs but I complain over and over again about having to come to the city (meaning DC). I commute 1.5 hours each way to work every day and when someone wants to have a Saturday fun-day in the city I dread having to go there yet again. And when it snows, I definitely work from home because it takes over 2+ hours to get to work because people don't know what a plow is or how to drive. Although I'd prefer to live in the suburbs than in DC (now that I'm old - when I was young the city was the coolest place ever), I mainly live so far away from work because it is too expensive to live in the city. It's too expensive to live in the suburbs too, but I can't possibly live farther away. But one day I plan to move far away from city life where I can have a yard and some trees and my kiddos can ride a bike without getting hit by a car - and it won't cost a billion dollars like a yard does here.

Ruth said...

I am "in the country". It is so nice and quiet. Insurance is cheaper and I get to plant trees in my yard where I want and I don't legally have to submit a proposal to the city council( some big places you do).
To avoid wildlife all you have to do is scan the ditches for eyes and slow down if you see any.