So, as everyone knows I've fallen (hard) off the weight loss wagon. Quite honestly, I've gotten lazy and I'm complacent. I really live in a make believe world where I feel like I look better than I do. It's really a terrible form of self esteem really because you often don't realize it until you're far from home and happen to walk into the vicinity of an unkind mirror and think, "Holy shit PETA! We have a whale on the loose!" and then that awkward follow up moment where you realize that that whale on the loose is actually you.
I was on such a roll for the last year and a half and quite frankly, I underestimated the battle my inner fat girl was going to put up. Unrealistically I really thought that if I got going my inner fat girl would bow down and know who is boss. Obviously, that did not happen because my inner fat girl basically bitch slapped me and laughed in my face while putting at least 12 pounds back onto me. Which, is just flat out bullshit and I will not go down easy.
So I've gotten back onto the exercising routine again and I have to be honest. I fucking hate exercising. I think there is something mentally wrong with people who are like, "I don't feel complete if I don't exercise" or "Exercising is my high!". Let me tell you something, bath salts are cheaper and easier folks. And you don't get sweaty and feel like dry heaving in your neighbor's yard after running seven blocks and feeling shame knowing just 8 months ago you ran a 5K. It's kind of fucking embarrassing as well.
But for the last two weeks I've run at least three times both weeks despite the heat that makes it feel like I'm doing hot laps for Satan himself. No matter how awesome my music play list is, it just doesn't make it fun. I am quickly realizing that I need to find something else because running might make me hate life.
I have been wanting to do kickboxing for a long time. The only stopping me from doing it is that I'm too cheap to pay for a membership to take a class and I'm also afraid I'm going to get beat up by scary women with muscles trying to punch me. For fun. But I have found a FREE class in the basement of a church, which basically sounds wrong? I mean, it's not like it's a Fight Club (I hope) but still. So, free is my friend. And I also found a friend who is also willing to to be cheap but want to get fit as well. Then when the school year starts? I'm going to start Zumba again. I mean, it's $5 a session but I need to do something other than just running because Matt is frankly getting scared by how angry I am when I'm done running.
And with that... we're starting the weight loss challenge again. If you're fat and you know it, clap your hands. And come exercise with me.