My brain is full of random observations and thoughts that need to come out. So let's talk about them.
1. Why don't you ever see moose in zoos? I just realized I have never seen a real moose ever and I don't know why zoos don't have them. It can't be their weight- zoos have hippos and elephants. It can't be their height- they have giraffes. Why are we discriminating against moose? Bastards.
2. I think my cat Batman has a butt problem. Specifically, when he jumps, poop falls out. He also gets nervous and poops. I think Lillian is effecting his butt hole and I'm concerned. He's also losing chunks of fur when the flashing lights gets a little crazy. Some days it looks like I've shaved the poor cat with the amount of fur on the floor.
3. I'm kind of annoyed at my neighbors. I am over the top friendly and say hello every time I see them and that bitch doesn't say a word. I am only going to feel bad calling her a bitch if it turns out she's deaf.
4. Why is it when Matt does dishes everything is greasy and he doesn't notice? How do you not notice when you pick up a "clean" dish and it's completely covered in grease and your hand just slides over it? It's gross. And it makes me stabby when I put stuff away only to realize that most of it needs to be re-washed.
5. People who are cross eyed or have a lazy eye freak me out. I don't know where to look and I know I look like a moron trying to figure out where to look. So I try to look at their nose or something but that feels weird too.
6. I mentioned this on Facebook, but what the fuck is up with men with long fingernails? I am seeing so many guys with long fingernails and it's all I can do not to say that's disgusting to their face. Admittedly, most of these people look questionable like they are probably using some kind of drugs but still. That's fucking disgusting. As women, we need to put our foot down on hygiene.
7. Can I just ask why women date men who look like pimps or drug dealers? They walk around town and look ridiculous. Who would willingly date a person who is a drug dealer? I mean, that would be a deal breaker for me. If some guy was like, "yeah, I deal drugs a little" , I'd be like NO THANKS. Nothing good has ever come from dating a drug dealer.
8. What the hell is up with people getting tattoos on their face and neck? Or women with boob/chest tattoos? Not once have I ever seen one of these on anybody and thought they looked good. Women of America- it is trashy to have tattoos all up on your boobs.
9. Does baby fever get better? Or is my uterus going to hurt every time I see a baby? Some times it's not so bad an other times I want a baby so much it physically hurts. Matt is adamant we aren't having any more and for the most part.. I've accepted that. But give me a baby and I want one. Bad.
10. What the fuck is wrong with Kristen Stewart? God DAMN. First off, she's like the luckiest bitch in the world to be banging Robert Pattinson and she decides to start screwing around with a married man with children? I hate her even more than I did before for her obviously lack of emotions and speech impediment and what I believe to be Turrets. Nobody flips their hair that much and constantly pulling at their hands than a liar or someone with Turrets.
11. Which brings me to this one- if you ever think that you are going to cheat, ever think about it or whatever, you need to tell your partner and just break up. A person would rather be broken up with than cheated on any day, hands down. I don't know how people think that their situation would get any better if they just had one indiscretion. Come on now, don't be dumb.
12. Why are people suing the movie studio over the shooting in Colorado? Really? How is any of this their fault? There is something really fucking wrong with a person who would sue just because they are able to when this was clearly a freak thing. Because one nut job decides he's going to make an obviously bad decision, does not give you the right to sue. That would be like suing Nike because your sneakers didn't help you run fast enough.
13. Will I ever stop craving french fries every day? Because I'm pretty sure this is what crack heads looking for a fix feel like. I want them and I want them NOW.