It almost sounds like a fantastical book or at least the beginning of a really great joke to tell when you're drunk but in fact, it sums up our Saturday in Chicago.
The first thing we did was buy our tickets for the double decker bus that Olivia REALLY wanted to ride. Ever since she saw them tooling around London during the Olympics she has been set on riding on one and yay me for being an awesome mom and making it happen.
After the movie we went over to the aquatic show and sat for 50 minutes before it started. Which, actually went faster than I thought it would. And I got all excited because I love me some dolphins and I have decided I would like one of those weird white beluga whales. Jackson agrees.
No fucking otter to be had. Not in it's exhibit, not in the show, nothing. Basically, they wasted two minutes of my life hyping the prodigal otter and give us nothing.
Oh wait- I'm wrong. They bring us something.
A blind hawk.
I know. I KNOW. First off, the hawk flies from one end of the pool to the other and everyone claps. I'm sorry- but it's a god damn bird. It's supposed to fly- this is nothing out of the ordinary or outrageous. Then they tell us this hawk is blind in one eye and I'm confused. Like, who cares? It still has one good eye to see- what's the big deal? I can't see shit in the dark but nobody claps for me when I make it to the bathroom without taking everything out in my path.
Whatever. It was disappointing to say the least. Then we wandered around the rest of the aquarium which was lame. I would show you pictures but I have none. Why? Because people are rude as hell, that's why. I had one Asian woman practically following Olivia and I around and literally stepping in front of me to take pictures of every single fish. We couldn't even see the fish and she's trying to be all photographer with everything. I wanted to punch her in a family facility. That's how serious this was.
So we left and I basically feel like the Shedd Aquarium stole my money. Seriously. The aquarium in Duluth was better and that tells you how craptastic this was.
After the aquarium everyone went to their hotels, medicated for headaches, took naps, whatever. We ended up walking down to Millennium Park so the kids could see the Bean and we did the obligatory family photo.
After dinner we head down the Pier with the intentions of going to the Ferris Wheel.
And nobody puked on the wheel! I was afraid because my kids don't like rides in general but they did super well.
The buses weren't running anymore at that time, but these free trolleys were. So we all walk down to where the trolleys pick you up and seriously, we're like the second and third families in line. We wait there for almost 20 minutes by the time the trolley comes and as we stand up to get in line, like EVERYONE cuts in front of us. So I do what any over exhausted, hungry, dehydrated mom does: make a complete scene. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with people? If it were just Matt and I and I see a group of people with small kids I would absolutely let them go ahead of me because hello- those kids probably need to get to bed. They've probably had a long day. But no. These assholes don't do that, they just cut in line.
We ended up walking for what seemed like forever through questionable neighborhoods to the hotel. We had to split from Jen and her crew when we got to Michigan Avenue because our hotels were in opposite directions and yikes. Poor Jackson had to pee but won't pee outside, Olivia had stomach cramps (probably from not pooping for two days..yay), I have to pee and we're dodging homeless and drunk people. THEN we get to our hotel and end up having to go around the block to the other side because a bunch of people were getting arrested and we couldn't get through.
Needless to say, I was pretty god damn tired when we got back. I gave the kids showers and got outfits ready for the morning and most of our stuff packed since we were leaving the next day. I don't think I got to bed until around 1 am. *yawn*
But on Sunday... we had even MORE adventures.