Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Halloween, Religious Crazies, Republicans, Cats, and Swap.

Because I'm all about multi tasking, let's give you a whole batch of Sara Crazy Ass Randomness and call it a coherent post, mmkay?

So Batman and Lola are friends now. Apparently, once he realized she's willing to lick his face and his ass, he's OK. It's always nice to know what you're friends are willing to do and establish some boundaries. But they mostly just cuddle like this. Batman likes to know his butt is secure.
 A few weeks ago I was in a parking lot and I saw this vehicle. You know I have a thing about crazy people and this is why I carry my camera at all times. Do you feel better knowing it's not just a handyman, but he's a Christian aw well? Is that supposed to make you feel better about his skills and the fact the chances of him raping you and stealing all of your stuff is less?
 So tomorrow is Halloween. My kids are a princess and Spiderman. Olivia gets stuck as a princess because I refuse to let her dress like a slut for the sake of a holiday. Jackson is more disappointed his costume didn't come with any "squirter stuff" which... honestly sounds disgusting.
 He also was disappointed that he cannot wear this every day.
 And I was in a Halloween swap and I'm *just now* posting it. But it's from Lauren and I was SO excited. She was my movie swap buddy too and she's just really fun and great so when I saw her box I squealed. Look at all of my goodies! (No, the cat was not included though he thought his fat ass could fit into the box. That's my Stumpy aka fat ass cat who thinks he is a dog and is mildly retarded.)
 I ate the cupcakes and candy, burned the candle, cleaned up kid boogers with my tissues and have yet to use the rest. But the book looks scary so I'm kind of intrigued because I've never read a legit scary book so Lauren is popping my scary book cherry.

And then some of you were all like, "Sara- what did you do this weekend to relax?" All you need to know is that it involved these two things, cupcakes, and a vibrator. We're friends- it's OK to share that.
Oh bet the best part of this week so far are me messing with the crazy Republicans. I get a TON of calls from the RNC and I don't know why- I'm a registered Democrat. Yesterday I told the lady I was voting next week and I was voting Democrat and she tells me she's going to pray for me. So I tell her I really hope she has to collect unemployment and use food stamps after her telemarketing job ends next week. She was kind of pissed off.

Today though was the BEST. I had one ask me if I was early voting and I was like, "Well, obviously. I have my third abortion scheduled for the 6th so I don't know if I'll make it down. Better be safe than sorry!" Matt about choked on his dinner and all I got was a quiet, "Oh my" and she hung up. Best Tuesday ever.

12 comments:

Amber said...

Seriously? I want to kiss Lola in the face and give her snuffles (which is where I sniff at her ears like a puppy dog). She is the cutest.

And me? When the douche nozzles from ANY side call my house? I belch into the phone.

But the abortion quip is a keeper!

Ruth said...

Sparkle is my retarded cat that thinks she's a dog.
Great political answers.:D
I can not wait until the election is over. I'm Independent so I get them from everyone.

Ang said...

I love how your kiddo are holding hands in one of those photos - too cute!
I love that you're fucking with those callers now... please do share the rest - via facebook or blog. It's fun. I haven't got a single call from either side... it's heaven.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

Growing up my dad would tell telemarketers that he was dead and how dare they talk about him during this time of mourning.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Yay, I'm glad you enjoyed your goodies, and that they finally got to you! Sorry it took awhile. Stupid mail. And hopefully you enjoy the book... I read this one too and I don't think it's too bad, so hopefully it won't be for you either. :)

-lauren

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I use a whistle on the political peoples. Or at least I used to. I don't get live people anymore, just recordings. Blowing a whistle at a recording isn't nearly as much fun.

FinnyKnits said...

Suddenly I'm a little sad that we got rid of our land line because I would love to repurpose that line on the idiots who used to call us during election season.

I love you even more now.

The Ballards said...

OMG! I have never commented here I'm a stalker for another page I stalk ( I have blog issues!) I laughed so hard when I read your republican phone call comments! THE BEST!!! You are a hoot!

The Ballards said...

This is the first time commenting on your blog I'm a stalker form another blog I stalk ( I have blog issues) I laughed so hard at your republican callers! LOVE THAT! You're a HOOT!

Eileen Ward said...

First...your kitten is so fucking cute.
second...is it wrong that I want to send you sex toys? Will you write posts about them if I do!?! Like book reviews for vibrators?
Third I love your answer to the rnc. Im beyond sick of this election. Obama better win or im going to be extremely fucking pissed.
Lastly...your kds are so adorable!

Sarah said...

As a republican I have to say...that abortion comment cracked me up!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Kind of makes me sad I got rid of my land line!!