'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy

Don't fret my pets, I have not killed anyone nor am I in need of bail money! (Is that a resounding collective sigh of relief or disappointment??)

Nope, it's time for another book review!

'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy - Leslie Langtry

For wisecracking single mother/professional assassin Gin Bombay, who comes from a line of career killers stretching back to ancient Greece, an invitation to the family reunion brings problems that go well beyond Aunt Jean's unappetizing potato salad. For starters, reunion business will include the mandatory blood initiation of Gin's five-year-old daughter, cementing her to the family business; on top of that, Gin's been assigned to eliminate a spy within the family, who may be her beloved younger brother. Things only get worse when she finds out that one of her marks is a client of her brand new boyfriend, a hunky Australian bodyguard. The beleaguered soccer mom/assassin concept is a winner, and Langtry gets the fun started from page one with a myriad of clever details, like the Hello Kitty phone perched in our heroine's death lab. The book's chief flaw is in Gin's one-liners; unlike the gracefully underplayed wisecracks of Janet Evanovich's like-minded bounty hunter Stephanie Plum, Gin's are one-joke affairs—all assassination, all the time—that quickly become grating.

OK, now I will start off by saying I say that movie One For The Money that was based off of Janet Evanovich's books and it was absolutely horrible. No white girl should ever fake a Jersey accent and I don't care how perky her boobs are. Admittedly I've never read any of Janet's books and the movie sealed the deal on that but I can tell you that I like Gin's character a lot better. Sure, some of the humor is maybe a tad overdone in some parts but I absolutely loved it. 

You know why? Because I feel like, while I'm not an assassin, I can certainly identify with her. She seems like she would be a fun girl to have in your group to get drunk with, which she does hilariously well and poorly timed in this book. I also loved the basis of the book that the entire family are killers with their own specialties and you do it or else, even if that is completely unrealistic. I think. I mean, I probably don't know if that is realistic or not. Hmm... 

Anyways. I flew through this book in less than 4 hours so it was good. It wasn't the greatest story of all time but it at least had enough going for it that I finished it lickety split. It's funny, it'll make you roll your eyes, but she is a talented author to watch for in the future. And (brace yourselves) I kind of liked all of the characters. I KNOW. Normally there is at least someone I wish were never written in the story because I don't like them, but all of the characters in this one were funny and great and you kind of wished they were your own family. 

The greatest part about this is that the book is FREE if you go HERE and get it through Amazon Whispernet. Honestly, what more do you want than a free book? This is part of a series so you'll definitely enjoy the others if you liked this one. 

Until There Was You

I've got to be honest, I literally just found out the greatness of NetGalley and I am part astonished it took me this long to find it and part ashamed of my reading friends who didn't tell me about it sooner. (Don't worry- I know where most of you live... *cackle*)

Until There Was You by Jessica Scott

A by-the-book captain with a West Point background, Evan Loehr refuses to mix business with pleasure-except for an unguarded instance years ago when he succumbed to the deep sensuality of redheaded beauty Claire Montoya. Since that brief lapse in judgment, Evan has been at odds with her. But when he is asked to train a combat team alongside Claire, battle-hardened Evan is in for the fight of his life.
 

Strong, gutsy, and loyal, Captain Claire Montoya has worked hard to achieve her high military rank. In Evan Loehr, Claire sees a spoiled commander who puts the rules before everything else-including his people. Army orders force them together and Claire soon discovers that there is more to Evan than meets the eye. He too has dark secrets and deep longings. For all their differences, Evan and Claire share two crucial passions: their country and each other.
 

One of the things I like about romance novels is that most of them require no real thinking. You don't need to know much about what's going on you are just anxiously awaiting the good parts. Oh stop, you know what I'm talking about. The entire story centers around Clair and Evan who are trying to train a team of inexperienced people who are being deployed. If you know absolutely nothing about the Army you'll be fine because Jessica explains it all really well and it's easy to follow along. 

I've got to be honest though- I kind of didn't like Claire. I KNOW, you always say I have a problem with the female leads and that's because I do. They are either too dumb for their own good or too much in the opposite direction and hard headed enough to be blind to the obvious. Claire falls into the hard headed category and that makes me like Evan more than I thought I would. I really thought Evan would be the tougher nut to crack but as it turns out, Claire's baggage tops Evan's. Go figure. 

But overall it was a good read. It's everything you want out of a romance novel and it leaves you wanting more. Like a series. I'm just saying. It doesn't become available to the masses until October 8, but you can go HERE to preorder it for your device. 

Morgan Hall

OK, so I have a few book reviews I'll be pumping out over the weekend but I'm going to start with this one because I'm going to flat out tell you that you need to read this.

Morgan Hall - by Bo Briar

Love never dies, and revenge never sleeps in Morgan Hall… Morgan Hall, a desolate country estate, has been in Lady Christie Morgan’s family for almost 400 years. A family cursed by eternal tragedy, and now Christie is the last Morgan. Apparitions appear, sparking a chain of horrifying occurrences involving Christie and the two men who love her: Anthony Longfield-Lothian and Tristan Ely. A saga of mystery and sordid family history weaves intrigue for the passionate love triangle. Past and present war as the secrets of three aristocratic families unfold - resurfacing in a spine-chilling mystery of passion and lust, ghostly happenings, and blood-curdling murders. Emotions run high as their world spins wildly out of control. Are they all cursed to repeat the grizzly past? Does sweet revenge claim its prize? Morgan Hall.

I'm going to start by telling you things I didn't like about this book. First off the way the text reads is very odd- I really had a hard time remembering that the book is meant to take place in current day. Some of the language used is so old fashioned that you'd expect this to have been taking place in the 1800's but then all of a sudden a modern day reference would pop up and it would just be really weird. 

What's also weird is Christie. I kind of don't like her and it's mostly because she's the stereotypical damsel in distress and I feel like if she were a friend of mine I would slap her silly a lot. She gets on your nerves. And the final weirdo thing for me was how the Christie-Anthony-Tristan relationship seriously felt like a threesome for the entire book. First off, why she picks who she does in the first place is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read and I almost stopped reading right then and there. And honestly, what guy do YOU know would be comfortable with their girlfriend being in the same bed as his friend and it'd be cool? NONE, that's who. 

BUT. 

You should read this book. Why? Because once you find out what the hell is REALLY going on, the entire second half of the book flies because you have to find out how this ends. I so badly want to tell you what I think about her first husband and her choices but I can't because that will completely ruin it for you. And the end? Oh my word. Seriously. First up, I was super sad about husband #2's death. Seriously. I was so sad and I genuinely felt heartbroken for her because he truly was an eternal soul mate and he's just gone. But THEN when I read the ending? The last chapter? Holy bejeesus it was creepy as hell, a terrible injustice, but absolutely perfect. 

I think I can say that it was the worst possible ending but the only logical one. It was the best ending for this book and it was amazing. Sure, I was all, "What the hell, Bo?!" when I read it, but then after thinking about it for a bit- it made absolute sense. It was tragic and perfect and everything you want in a good book. 

I know Bo is working on a sequel but honestly, it would be great without a sequel, but it makes me even more excited to see what happens to helpless Christie. So I am telling you- get this book, read it, and then come back here and tell me what you thought. Seriously. Tell me if you spit out your beverage like I did at the ending. 

You can check out Bo's website or even email her at bobriar1@gmail.com. I also think you should check out her publisher's page because there are a bunch of books on there that look very interesting. 

I'm fucking exhausted.

Seriously. Today has been such a god damn struggle and now that I have the option of going to bed I feel like I need to do something fun just to make the day worthwhile. Let's talk about it, shall we?

1. I woke up at 5:30 am with the sound of both Olivia and Jackson screaming at each other and doors slamming. 

2. Then around 8 Olivia informs me that she believes she has diarrhea and it's in her underwear. But she can't just rationally say it, she's sobbing and screaming at me. But I know she has no diarrhea because she hasn't pooped in days and I know she has been lying and saying she has. How? Well because yesterday she smelled like a sewage treatment facility and had what we would describe as run marks in her underwear. She swears she doesn't feel the urge to poop. 

3. At approximately 8:37 am I promptly lose my shit because I'm completely over her and her poop issues at age 7 and I'm angry that I will likely be giving an enema without Matt here and that makes me stabby. 

4. 8:39 am - enema is threatened. Only to find I do not have the supplies on hand for said enema. 

5. I then decide I'm going to take some mommy time out time and take the longest shower my hot water tank will allow. Turns out, this is only 38 minutes for some reason and I make a mental note to let Matt know we've got a problem. 

6. At 10am I decided we are going to the library before I forget to return our stuff. 

7. We get home at around 10:45 and I make Olivia go sit on the toilet until something happens because I obviously forgot to stop at Target to get an enema. I start looking for her laxative drink stuff. 

8. Approximately 10:53 and I am frantically trying to open windows and find the Febreeze because Olivia's bowel has apparently emptied itself. It ends up being the largest turd I have ever seen. At this moment I regret my decision making her use the toilet that is easily clogged. 

9. 11:01 and I am really angry that this is the day Matt chooses to work on the weekend as I am trying to unclogged a toilet and break down a turd with the emergency spoon. (don't ask)

10. Fast forward to this evening when Jackson starts screaming about the shower spray being too rough on his butt and Olivia is screaming because there is a fly in her room. "Serenity Now" does not even cover the things I wanted to scream back at them both. 

We did go see the movie Hotel Transylvania and it was really great and funny so that was a good part of the day. And then I bought a new book so that was nice, too. But the non stop arguing, bickering, whining, and just stress of not being able to pee alone is really getting to me. I told Matt when he came home that today is one of those days where I absolutely understand why people abandon their kids. It's fucking hard to do this each and every day and still want to wake up the next morning. I am starting to feel like maybe there is something legit wrong with me that I no longer enjoy parenting. Seriously. The times where I feel joy about being a parent are becoming far and few between. Sure, they do cute things and my heart wants to burst with love for them but that's not what I'm talking about. Don't doubt my love for my kids because I don't. 

I'm talking about those moments when you feel at peace with your choice about being a parent, feeling like you've got a good grip on your job as a parent and at least a brief idea on how to do it, and feeling like this is what you were meant to do. These moments are so far apart I can't remember the last time I felt one. 

And to be honest? That is kind of scary. Like, what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I feel like everything I do isn't making a difference or worth it? I feel like with all of the effort and work I put in I should at least make me feel like I'm doing a good job. Instead, I'm so burned out, stressed and exhausted that I'm trying to find ways to get a break from it all. 

I can't even get mad at Matt because he is working a LOT. He's put in almost 65 hours this week at his regular job. Then today, after working a few hours at his job he went and did some roofing for 9 hours. It's like this all week. I can't even tell him to stop working so much and fucking help me out because we need the money right now and it's just a gross cycle. Even if he doesn't work, he's at home totally bumming it out on the couch, taking naps and playing Diablo 3 for hours so either way- I'm basically single parenting it. 

*sigh*

So that's my rant. I knew you'd all appreciate a good poop story. Livin' the dream, yo. 

Movie Link Up.

LAST CHANCE to sign up for the super awesome Halloween swap Jamie and I are doing. Go HERE to sign up and be great. We need one more person at least to make it even, and you know how I am with even numbers and my OCD. Do it for me. And my crazy.

So a few weeks ago I signed up for Linny's Movie Swap thingie because I fucking love swaps, I love getting cool stuff in the mail, and I like to "meet" new people. Luckily for me I got Lauren as my partner and she is lovely AND an avid reader so it's like we were destined to be together. So let's see what she got me.

Um, yes. First off, let me be honest and tell you I ate that entire snack kit for dinner one day. I won't even lie or be ashamed by this, because it was amazing and delicious. Nom, nom, nom.

Then, Matt and I watched the movie the other night and hilarious. I love Mark Wahlberg anyways and I hadn't seen this so I'm glad Lauren is awesome and picked this one up for me. And THEN, she got me these super kick ass calendar book marks. Um, YAY. I am forever losing my bookmarks and then Lola ate my Robert Pattinson one (moment of silence..) and so I'm in need of one. But I'm kind of too cheap to buy them, so I secretly wish other people would and they do and then it's all a wonderful life after all.

So THANK YOU, Lauren for being awesome. And then I got a book review out of the deal as well so it was a pretty awesome partnership if I do say so myself.

Whatever Lola wants....

....Lola gets.

For those of you who think I can't talk Matt into things, I'd like you to meet Lola.

 Lola is my newest baby aka the third cat in our household. She's free of any obvious deformities and I believe Stumpy and Batman with their deformed tails (or lack thereof) are angry about this. Lola is perky and she is a pisser.

 She is super adorable and cuddly and then she will attack your face and attempt to gouge out your eyeballs. Then lick your ear.

 She runs kind of sideways but that's OK because she's still faster than Stumpy and Batman. Who are pretty well adjusted to her now. Things were sketchy because she licked Batman's butt without permission and then tried to suck on Stumpy's nipples are rightfully so- they were not happy. But now that she is no longer doing these things, things seem to be going OK.

 But isn't she adorable?? Matt said absolutely not to another cat and then I saw her and was like, yeah right. Watch me work my magic.

 And now she cuddles with him when he comes home from work and he can't say no. Mostly because I think he really does have a heart sometimes. But then he says no to a goat and I go back to calling him an asshole dream killer.

And guess what is happening right now?? Stumpy and Lola are sharing my reading chair with my Robert Pattinson blanket and kissing. Don't you scoff at me- of course I have a Robert blanket.

But she's quite the character and I think she plots evil things. She only attacks me in my sleep and then goes to love on Matt. Which, obviously this is wrong- he would have let her get disposed of by his dad and I rescued her! That bitch should be grateful that I took her in when she's free of deformities. I prefer deformed animals or at least ones who are mildly retarded like Stumpy. They are just so much more fun. But we'll see how she does. We have to get her shots and spayed and all of that jazz so here's hoping she calms down after that.

Eleven.

So one of my adorable blog readers, Ryan, tagged me in something last week and I'm only just now getting to it. Life has been crazy, but Ryan is great so I'll play along. 

Basically, I tell you 11 things about me you might not know, I answer 11 questions asked by my tagger, then I tag some people and ask you 11 things, etc. 

11 Things You May Not Know About Me

1. My real father is an alcoholic and it scares me to death. I've gone to lots of counseling to deal with that and the things I consider to be traumas from my childhood but I secretly fear they have affected me negatively as an adult. 

2. Although I have always excelled at school I don't feel smart. I have a two year degree and worked hard to get it and be at the top of the class. I always wanted to go further in college but thought I wasn't smart enough to continue so I just didn't. I always wanted to be a life long student but now I am afraid I wouldn't make it. 

3. My favorite thing to eat for breakfast is an English muffin with peanut butter and then a huge glass of orange juice. I cannot function well without orange juice every morning. 

4. When I was in high school I really, really, REALLY wanted to be a Geologist. I still kind of want to do that still yet there is nothing around me that offers Geology classes for fun despite being a geological treasure trove for exploration. 

5. I have a very low threshold for bullshit. I'm also not very tolerant to people who continually make bad decisions in life and then wonder why life sucks. I don't feel bad for people and am critical of others. At the same time, when I fuck up I at least own it and acknowledge I made a series of bad decisions and don't ask people to feel sorry for me. I often wonder what's wrong with me that I don't have the "I Care" gene. 

6. I wish my parents would tell me if they were proud of me. Even at age 30 I realize I still wish they would tell me I'm doing a good job, that they are proud of me, that they feel like they did a good job. I can function and do well in my life without these things, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it on the days where I feel the worst. 

7. I am hands down, the pickiest eater you will ever know. It's an ongoing joke with almost everyone who knows me that I am a culinary freak. I still stand by it being a mental defect because I have reasons that I won't eat stuff. I am not that girl who goes to food tasting things or try new places. I will almost always order chicken strips or a burger super well done/definitely dead/slightly burnt. With french fries. Obviously. 

8. I am terrified of bugs. I hate bugs, I don't like them in any way, and will scream like a bitch and run for my life if they land on me. 

9. Like Ryan, I have never read any of the Harry Potter books and absolutely don't understand what the hype is about. I've seen the movies, which were entertaining, but I don't understand why there was such hysteria over these books. 

10. I am an absolute music junky. I have a lot of music and wish I could buy everything I want but I would have to sell my house and live in my van. I have an affinity for live albums and one of my absolute favorites is Dashboard Confessional's MTV Unplugged. I listen to that all of the time and can never get enough. 

11. I buy books based on their covers. It might be the greatest story ever told but if I don't like the cover it's a no-go. 

Ryan's 11 Questions

1. What song describes you best? I absolutely love this song and remember singing it to myself before bed for years. 

And I would really be remiss to not include this one. 

2. What is the best part about where you live? The lake. If you have ever seen Lake Superior it basically looks like an ocean and it's peaceful. I'm a total Pisces and cannot function without water, I only wish the lake wasn't so fucking cold all of the time. 

3. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? In a place like Key West. I am a beach girl at heart and I crave the water. Every time I go to Florida I feel at home and peaceful. Sure, there's a lot of bad driving old people and a lot of non-English speaking people... but the atmosphere is what I like. And I imagine Key West is very low key, tranquil, you can be on the water, walk on the beach, and life is just a lot less stressful. 

4. You perfect day would include? My perfect day would include road tripping and doing touristy things. Love it. 

5. What are you looking forward to? I look forward to someday being able to travel and see the world. It's a life goal and I hope someday I can do it. 

6. If money were no obstacle, what would you do with your time? Travel extensively. I want to see new places, hear different languages, experience other cultures and see the treasures of the world. 

7. Your favorite item in your closet is? My toy box. I store it in my closet and it makes me happy. 

8. In an hour you will be? At work, probably re-organizing the back room. 

9. Which countries have you visited- which was your favorite? I've only been to Canada for a day and it's wasn't awesome. Granted- I was under 10 when I was there so it was lame. 

10. Where do you see yourself in 20 years? I don't know and that's scary. 

11. What are you currently reading? "Wake" by Amanda Hocking. 

**

I'm going to cheat and not ask you 11 questions OR tag anyone. If you want to do it, great- let me know you did it so I can see. ;) 

^$@^#@^#$@^#. That's kind of how I feel.

First up, don't forget to sign up for the swap. The graphic with all of the info shows up better on her blog than mine, so go there and sign up. Otherwise I may look down on you for being a fun killer.

In other news, holy fucking attitude Batman. What am I talking about? I'm talking about a particular 7 year old gorgeous, adorable, smart girl who all of a sudden is sassing back at everything and bursting into tears hourly. Seriously. If this is what 7 looks like, I am obviously screwed at say... 12.

I try talking to Olivia about why she feels so angry and sad and I get nothing. NOTHING. She won't talk about school, other than the fact they have these "clubs" at recess. And by "clubs" I mean a few groups of girls that pick and choose who can play with them that day and if you don't get picked, then you're out. And nobody will talk to you at all. Now, things were going OK until Olivia befriended a little girl who was in her class last year who is a nice girl. She's shy and has nobody to play with at recess so Olivia decided she would befriend her and all would be well.

Well, it's not all well and now Olivia is getting shunned from the clubs because this other girl isn't invited. It's kind of mean girls like stuff in first grade. Now, part of me wants to go down there and ask what the eff this is about but the other part of me is like, no. No, she has to learn how to fit in and get along with mean people. Not everybody raises their kids to be kind to others and really just be good all around. But what pisses me off is that all of my hard work in raising her for the last seven years pretty much goes to shit when you have other parents who don't care how their kids end up and it hurts mine. And I just wonder- how do you not know your child is mean to others? Because I see some of these kids in front of their parents and they are total snots and the parents just laugh it off. Um, no. Your kid is a flipping brat who needs their mouth washed out with soap, yo.

So in the middle of all of THAT, I have to deal with this attitude from her at home. Now, I think that because she feels like she has no control at school that she can get it here- like she will boss her brother around, roll her eyes at me, etc. She's taking her school frustrations out on us (primarily me because it's me dealing with kid stuff 99% of the time). It's really god damn annoying.

This morning I asked her to put her jacket on no less than 15 times and she bursts into tears. Totally crying as we're going out the door that I'm yelling at her. Which, totally not yelling at her, but when I ask you to do it 15 times, at some point I'd expect it get done. I'm not telling you to do this for my health, we need to go before we're late. But nope. She's very head strong and independent (like her mama) but I tell you what- I knew when not to fuck around with my mom. We butted heads but good lord. I could always look at my mom and know she wasn't messing around and she would slap you upside the head hard enough you'd feel it all day. So when she told you to do something- you fucking did it if you knew what was good for you.

Tonight she tells me she is mad at Jackson because he doesn't want to play with her anymore. Which, I'm sure compounded with the playground issues this is even worse. So, I get that. But at the same time? Jackson doesn't always want to play Barbies. Sometimes he likes to play trucks and run over his bad guys with a bulldozer. He's a boy and that's fun for him. And he likes to play alone and he does it quietly and it's great.

THEN, when they do play together now? Holy god dammit all to hell. Nothing but crying, fighting and at one point this weekend punching. Yeah- my kids punched each other over a Lego. Not a group of them, just ONE Lego. Because we don't have an entire Rubbermaid bin full of Lego's. It's just really frustrating and to have all of this on top of some other stress I've got going on? It's just too much. Some days I feel like not coming home and calling it good.

Most days I don't even feel the joy of parenthood. I can go several days/weeks without having one highlight of being a parent. I feel like it's times like this where I think maybe I wasn't cut out to be a parent. Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist/OCD/controller to be a good parent. Maybe I'm too demanding of my kids and I have too high of expectations of good behavior all of the time. Because I tell you, any deviation from good behavior and my patience is none. If the kids get too loud I can literally feel my anxiety go up tremendously and I cannot handle it.

God dammit I need a vacation.

Lambwhores Unite: The Greatest Halloween Swap EVER.

One of the cutest bloggers ever and I have come up with a really kick ass Halloween Swap for cool people only. As your lambwhore leader, I'm going to be really disappointed if you don't sign up so consider this peer pressure.

Who can participate? 

*Followers of This is Me, Consequently (Jamie's blog) and mine. Obviously, if you aren't officially following us through GFC and just come around like a creepy stalker, you can go ahead and click follow and that problem is clearly solved. Then you'll be a legit stalker.
*US Residents who have APO addresses.
*Active bloggers. You need to post once a week you lazy asses.

The Rules. 

How To Sign Up. 

You need to click HERE to go to the form, yo. Fill it out and anxiously await to find out who your partner is going to be. Peer pressure your friends as well. You obviously have my permission. HURRY!

Guest Post, author Meg Lacey

I am super excited to have reviewed Meg Lacey's book, The Sparrow and the Hawk for my blog yesterday, and even more excited to have her do a little guest post for me. Be sure to register to win a copy of her book using the link at the bottom of this post!
**

Hi everyone,

I’m Meg Lacey.

It’s a rainy day where I live, the perfect day to forget about everything and sit down with a good book and have a “Me” Day. I can hear some of you thinking, “Yeah, right, never going to happen! I have too much to do.” Work, family, school, etc.— believe me, I understand. As women, I think we come with guilt programmed into our DNA.

Take me for example. I don’t relax well. I wrote my first novel in the sixth grade, but my writing career didn't last. Instead I went into theatre before ending up in televison as a writer-producer for many years. Although I’m now writing fulltime, I still have tons of obligations that get in the way of taking a ‘Me’ day. But you know what? Lately, I’ve forcing myself to haul out my inner diva and say, “Screw it. I’m taking time for me!”  You need to do the same. 

So today, or sometime soon make time for the Me in You. Forget the guilt and just go for it. Grab a glass of wine, a book and take a bubblebath, find a corner and indulge in yoga followed by dark chocolate, watch a sad movie and cry your eyes out, or do what I’m going to do today—go for a long walk in the rain. Before you go, though, I’d like to tell you about my paranormal romance series coming out from Imajinn Books, www.imajinnbooks.com,  on Sept. 30, 2012—“Tales of the Sparrow.”  The first book is “The Sparrow and The Hawk. “

“Tales of the Sparrow” is a humorous, paranormal romantic adventure series set in the future—a time when magic, myths, shapeshifters and other mystical creatures are possible because the veil between this world and the next had been stripped away.

In the first book, The Sparrow and The Hawk…

Jillie Harte, code name the Sparrow, a documentary film maker is an agent for the NAS (Normal, Abnormal, Strange) Agency. Her assignment—find The Carmaletta Choker before it falls into the wrong hands and destroys the world. Franklin Doherty, and associates are suspected of having the choker; and they are definitely the wrong hands! To get close to Franklin,  Jillie is producing a film on “Decoration, Fashion and Accessories Throughout History,” featuring his antique collection. Her assignment is complicated by Griff Ryland, her new, hot cameraman, who is also looking for the necklace. Griff is an enigma. Is he friend or foe? And why is she so distracted by his "pure sex on a stick" appeal?

Like the Sparrow, Griff, aka the Hawk, needs to retrieve the choker. It disappeared from his dimension years before, and his job is to bring it back.  Since he can shapeshift into a hawk or a mountain lion at a moment’s notice, Griff feels certain of success.  But he doesn’t bargain for a sassy, sexy redhead—and for his overwhelming urge to settle their differences in bed.

Now Griff and Jillie must not only overcome the deadly dark forces who want the choker, but they must also face their developing relationship.

And they thought saving the world from evil and chaos was hard!!!!

I’m including a short excerpt here also:

Excerpt:  The Sparrow and The Hawk

Jillie did another visual sweep of the lobby and met the gaze of a red-hot guy across the room. Jillie held her breath as the serious eye-yum moved toward her. The guy didn’t walk as much as he swaggered in that cocky, loose-limbed and fluid way that some great-looking men have programmed into their bones. He was tall and lean, with wheat-blond hair sporting a hint of a wave that fell almost to his shoulders, brilliant blue eyes, chiseled cheekbones and a strong jawbone. Still holding her gaze, the man smiled. His teeth were so strong and white that Jillie was tempted to reach for her sunglasses. He looked like a cover model for a man’s Western cologne. All he needed was a wild horse between his thighs, a wilder woman hanging onto him as if she’d never let him go, and a pulsating soundtrack.

            His smile broadened as he came close. “Hey,” he said.

Jillie glanced over her shoulder to see whom he was addressing.

            “Hey,” he said again.

            Redirecting her gaze, Jillie was surprised to find him standing directly in front of her. Given her recent image of him on a horse, his “hey” sounded appropriate.

            “Hey, there.” His voice was deep and a bit raspy, intimate enough to make Jillie think of hot, sweaty sex.

            She frowned, wishing she could shut her eyes. Her nose started itching. Maybe she was allergic to so much male beauty.  His grin moved up a notch to more-blinding-than-the noonday-summer-sun. Jillie blinked. “You must really have a great dentist.”

The guy looked confused for a moment. “Huh?”

“Forget it. Just a joke.”

“Oh.” He hooked a thumb in his belt. “Are you Jillian Harte? I’m Griff Ryland.”

            “Uh-huh.”

            “You know. Griff Ryland.”

            Words formed in her mind as she felt the full power of his blue eyes, but given his questioning look, she didn’t think her verbal answer came out well.  She tried again, taking care to form each syllable. “No. I don’t know any Griff Ryland.”

            He shrugged, “We’ve never met personally.  I thought Kenny might have said something, since I’ve already heard a lot about you.”

            Jillie tilted her head, wondering where this was leading.  “I know Kenny Podansky. He works with me.”

            “Not on this project. You get me instead.”

            “Can I do anything I want with you?”

Be sure to register on my website for the contest that will accompany “The Sparrow and the Hawk.”

For more information please visit my new website: www.meglacey.com

or on facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/meglaceybooks

or email: mailto:meg@meglacey.com

"One lucky reader who comments on my blog will be randomly selected to win a beautiful gift from “For Every Home.” Good luck!"

Have a lovely day,

Meg

****

Green to Go

So last year I reviewed the first book in this series call Red Right Return so it's only natural I read the second one.

Green To Go - John H. Cunningham

Buck Reilly went to hell and back in Red Right Return. In Green to Go, it’s a one-way trip. Good news turns bad fast, and the bad just keeps coming in this thrilling new Buck Reilly adventure. The unexpected contents of his parent’s Swiss bank account offer Buck a chance to dig himself out of the hole he’s been in since the recession hit, but first he must recover the treasure maps and clues he lost at sea. Those plans get put on hold when a friend is accused of orchestrating the biggest theft in Key West’s sordid history, and the FBI uses Buck's past against him to demand that he search for the thieves who fled aboard a hundred year-old schooner.

No good deed goes unpunished, and Buck’s dogged by greed and double-crosses from Key West to the Bahamas and points south. His hunt for the missing treasure pits him against a crazed mercenary, Peruvian rebels, rogue Cuban Secret Police and a beautiful woman torn between turning Buck over to the authorities or succumbing to his charm.

Buck’s a lot like the rest of us—trying to make ends meet and hoping for better times. He operates Last Resort Charter and Salvage, flying a 1946 amphibious Grumman Widgeon, hunting for sunken treasure and taking on an occasional passenger, no questions asked. GREEN TO GO is the second book in the series.

If you read my first review you'll know I really liked the first book. I liked it a lot because again, it's a fast read full of action. 

And again, I wanted to dislike Buck but god help me, I can't. He's the kind of character that literally has nothing good going for him in his life and literally everything he does puts him in terrible situations. At the end of the first book I really wanted to know if he'd recover what his parents had left him and his brother and holy moly, Batman- what they left Buck is absolutely NOT what I thought they would. Talk about game changer. It actually made me feel worse for Buck because after his brother writes him off basically it's like he's left with nobody. 

And then of course life just can't stop kicking him in the ass because a rowdy night of drinking lands him in a drunk tank and coincidentally, the witness of a huge treasure heist and then mayhem and crazyness ensues. 

I so very much love John's writing with these books because he writes as if these characters are real, you can totally picture the settings and you feel like you are right there with a little Jimmy Buffett playing in the background. I also love how absolutely nothing goes right for Buck and how no matter what he does, he's bombarded with pretty much every bad guy you could encounter while out looking for your friend and some treasure. 

Excellent writing, excellent story, excellent characters. It's such a fun read that keeps you wondering how the hell Buck is going to fix the mess he's in. I give this one 5/5 stars. Good stuff.  

The Sparrow and the Hawk

First up, come here tomorrow to see Meg's guest post about her book. You'll have a chance to win your very own copy.

The Sparrow and the Hawk

Jillie Harte, AKA the Sparrow, a filmmaker, is an agent for the NAS (Normal, Abnormal, Strange) Agency. She must find The Carmaletta Choker before it destroys the world. To get close to Franklin Doherty, suspected of having the choker, Jillie is producing a film on “Decoration, Fashion and Accessories Throughout History,” featuring Franklin’s antique collection.

Like the Sparrow, Griff, AKA the Hawk, posing as Jillie’s new cameraman, needs to retrieve the choker. As a shapeshifter, he feels certain of success.  But he doesn’t bargain for a sassy, sexy redhead—or for his urge to settle their differences in bed.

Griff and Jillie must overcome dark forces, and face their developing relationship.

And they thought saving the world from evil and chaos was hard!!!!

Well, you know I love me some paranormal when it comes to books. It's actually a genre I thought I would hate and then along came Twilight and then I found out I actually really like things that involve bizarre creatures. Go figure. 

Here's what I loved about this book: 

• It's a fast read. I finished it in about 7 hours and it would have been faster had I not had a kitten attacking the pages as I read. 
• The story pulls you in immediately. You know how some books start with giving you a lot of preamble before the actual meat of the books starts? Not the case here. Right away Jillie gets her assignment and she's on her way. 
• I don't know how I feel about Griff so much... but you have to read it and tell me your thoughts. I might have to re-read it again to see if maybe I am just "meh" on him because I am PMS'ing and crabby. But how it ends with Griff made me a little annoyed at him, but it obviously hooks you to read the next book in the series. 
• This book is actually funny. THANK YOU for not making a ridiculously serious story line and just nothing but action. I liked that humor was brought in at times where, if this were really happening, it's where humor would occur. And it's subtle humor where it's not trying to be hilarious, just regular folk banter and it's done well. 
• I also like how some of the story lines were a little predictable but then always had a twist. I knew something from the get go was fishy about her mother but then once you find out what it is, whoa. But I'm not convinced that's all of it, that more is coming in the other books. 
• Lots of dialogue. Call me a sucker- but I like a lot of dialogue between characters in my books because it actually makes it faster to read for me and have a better chance at mentally playing the story out in my head. 

Things I didn't love about this book: 

• I struggle with books with a lot of characters or a lot of background information to think about. I know it adds layers to the book but sometimes it can take away. 
• I hate how grossly unprepared Jillie is for a lot of what her job entails. I know she works for the FBI of bizarre things essentially- but I feel like she'd have more up her sleeve to do her job. There's a part where she wonders what creatures with witch like powers would know about her. Granted, she can't be the best of the best and have every super power because that would be unrealistic, but still. I feel like she should have something worthwhile. 

Overall? I'd give it 3/5 stars. It's not the best book I've ever read but it's a solid debut and start to a promising series. I feel like we're going to hear from Meg in the future and it'd be kind of cool to say you read her books when she first started out. 

Who haven't I offended recently? OH, stay at home moms. Game on.

Can I just say that I am officially over hearing a stay at home mom bitch about not having time to get stuff done? Because I am and I won't even apologize for it.

I feel like as a whole, people basically are afraid of stay at home moms. God forbid you offend them because it's like they suddenly find all of the time in the world to send you terrible emails saying your are going to burn in hell and your children are going to be thugs, but they can't manage to clean their house. It's like some of them I want to say, get the fuck off of Blogger giving us links to random shit we'll never win and being on Facebook bitching about how you can't clean your house.

And let me just say that I have a lot of stay at home mom friends who I know for a fact have clean houses, meals on the table, volunteering everywhere, and have kick ass kids. These are not the moms I am talking about.

I am talking about these moms who are bringing their kids to school in their pajamas and stinky Crocs with disheveled looking kids. The moms who can't do the dishes to save their life but by fucking god, they can tell you what annoying ass Kelly Ripa wore on the show this morning. They know the complete cartoon schedule on every kid related channel for the entire day and plan lunch around it. The moms who are on Facebook saying, "OMG- the baby is crying AGAIN." Yeah. Because that's what babies do and that's how they communicate. They cry. The cry a lot and they also poop and pee a lot and sometimes for good measure, will projectile vomit on you. These are sometimes the mommy bloggers who blog and tweet so much during the day you wonder if they are caring for real children or those creepy lifelike dolls because no parent can tweet every few minutes and properly care for a child.

I totally get being a full time parent is hard work even in the best of circumstances. It really is, I'm right there with you. But you know what else is hard? Working almost 30 hours a week, carpooling two kids to two different schools, coordinating after school activities, helping with homework, reading practice, writing practice, making dinner, starting laundry, cleaning my house, feeding the cats, answering emails and phone calls, sorting through the mail, doing dishes, getting both kids showered and ready for bed, and then bedtime stories and night time chats about our day. And doing 90% of it in the span of 3, maybe 4 hours on a good night. So, what a stay at home mom does in one full day is what I can get done in 3, maybe 4 hours. Then we can throw in my volunteerism, my book reviews, all of the financial duties to run my household, meal planning, shopping lists, getting birthday cards/gifts out, and trying to be a really kick ass daughter/wife/mom/friend/sister to everyone around me.

It's hard out here for a pimp, yo.

Then the kicker? The fucking god damn kicker is to have a stay at home mom have the fucking balls to tell me she's busier than me because you know, I get to go to work and maybe I should try being a better mom and person. Yeah, because all I do at work is sit and look cute. No. I'm actually working while I'm there. I am working easily from 5:30 am until 11:30 pm. The days that I am home with the kids? Watch the hell out, world. Not only do I get all of that done? But I can tell you right now that on any given Saturday? I only sit down for lunch. A 5 minute lunch where I'm eating and getting afternoon crafts with the kids ready. I have games, activities, and learning things set up for the kids when they aren't in school. We go to the library, we do other things in the community to learn about new things and gain some experience. Every day with my kids is fun for them and it's not all me working and cleaning. But to tell me I'm a bad person because I go to work while my kids are in school? You're an asshole.

And I'll be honest- I lose a little respect for a stay at home mom (and really, I'm not dogging just moms, if you're a stay at home dad- this applies to you as well) who has a messy house. Like, I get that kids make a mess and they are miniature tornadoes, but my kids understood the concept of pick up your toys by 12 months. And I don't feel like I have gifted kids- I just made it a priority that they know they need to pick up their toys. But if I can keep my house clean while being busy as hell- you can at least wash your dishes. Or vacuum your carpet. Come on now. I feel like stay at home moms should be putting me to shame and making me feel like I need to step my game up and that's not the case.

AND, I can't even say that I have a crap ton of help. Nope. I'm practically single parenting it up in here because do you think Matt is a super tremendous help? Nope. He works from 4am (sometimes 3am) until 5 or 6 pm, five days a week and then Saturdays he maybe only does an 8 hour shift. Do you think he knows the name of the teachers of our kids? Nope. Do you think he knows where Jackson's class even is? Nope. Do you think he knows anything about what they do at school or what they need to do for homework? Nope. Do you think he has cooked a real meal for the family? Nope. Can he grocery shop? Nope. But I don't expect him too because he works his ass off. So while it'd be nice to have some help at bedtime or at least have him help the kids shower without them starting to scream because he doesn't shampoo nicely, it just doesn't happen.

I am basically a single parent CEO up in here. So don't come around telling me that us working moms are less of a parent because we work outside of the home. I feel like it's about time we give some credit to moms who actually do work out of the home because I know every day of my life I think, gee- it'd be really nice to stay at home- my life would be a lot more relaxed and less stressful.

*end rant*

In other news, I have a bunch of book reviews coming over tonight and tomorrow, some questions for you, and a very cool guest post by an author on Friday. Stay tuned!

Ten on Tuesday. It's like a love letter to Linny.

I love me some Linny and I think you should too. So in my own way, I'm going to do her Ten on Tuesday so show my love for her. *smooch*

1. I got new brakes on my van today, both front and back. I am so appreciative that my Dad came home basically to replace these for me and grateful that he was able to do it. It was meant to only be my front brakes but once he started working he realized I had basically no brakes on the back either. Long story short, I'm just very happy that Baby Jeebus not let my brakes go out and die. Seriously. And since driving it with new brakes I realized how bad they were. Like, I barely tap the brake and it's like slamming on the brakes. It's kind of freaking terrifying to realize how bad it was and you don't even know it.

2. I took the first steps in switching banks. My bank apparently sold themselves to some bank in Canada and is going to start charging me outrageous amounts just to have an account. Plus, we're talking about replacing the van in the spring and I talked to them about a loan and they were total assholes. It was the nail in the coffin. So I opened a new checking/savings account for us and Tuesday we finalize everything because Matt has to sign off on everything. But I've never switched banks and everyone tells me a nightmare. Yay.

3. I am really sick and tired of bad drivers. I feel like my road rage is getting worse. Today I honked like a maniac at a person who clearly almost killed a pedestrian. Nobody even cared or slowed down. I fucking hate people.

4. Why aren't you stopping for pedestrians? Don't be a douchebag people- stop for pedestrians.

5. I am really disgusted that it is fall and getting colder here. I am fully aware that seasons come and go but I'm disgusted. Sure, sweatshirts are awesome and I love me some jeans, but I fucking hate waiting for my van windows to defrost.

6. I'd also like to point out that I don't know why I've never gotten a remote start for my van. So that means that I will have yet another winter where I'm scraping windows I can't reach because I'm too god damn short and I'll be swearing at Matt for not getting me a remote start, but by god- his piece o' crap Jeep has one. It's not like HE hauls kids and is in a rush EVERY morning, but noooooo... Sara doesn't get a remote start because it's expensive and difficult to install. What-fucking-ever.

7. Is it wrong that I am anxiously awaiting the DVD release of Magic Mike? Because if it is, I don't want to be right.

8. I feel like I am getting sick and I'd like to blame that kid who had bright green boogers who coughed on me. That little fucker probably has some bizarre strain of disease and now I'm going to die. According to WebMD I might have a brain tumor. Sure, it could just be a head cold but it could be a brain tumor.

9. Can anyone explain to me why boy short panties give me a wedgie? Do they give everyone a wedgie? Is my ass just big enough it swallows underwear?

10. I am going to be co-hosting a Halloween themed swap with my friend Jamie, so you need to get on your A-game bitches. Start buying Halloween themed goodies that are awesome and fun and anxiously await our sign ups, coming soon. And maybe you'll get me as your match. You'd be kind of bad ass then.

Sara Lately.

Bitches, I've been busy. To say I've been busy is almost an insult because busy doesn't even cover it. I feel like I have been dragged through a hedge ass first on a good day.

Just picture that visual.

But here are some things I've been doing:

 I've been cleaning up after two fat ass animals that could quite honestly, live off of their fat stores for at least two weeks. No matter where I put the food, they find it and some how open the lid. Stumpy will lay on the floor to eat and drag himself to more food. This should all change now that Lola has joined us. Wait, what? Yeah- Lola has arrived. More about her and her mayhem of crazy soon.

The kids also ran a race a few weeks ago. Just for fun and for free dinner. No, I'm not lying.

 And they were totally loving their free shirts.

Then the realized Mom was going to make them run. And then Matt realized I was going to make him run 1/8 of a mile with Jackson because hello- he's  four and every other parent was out there. Except me because I was smart and wore flip flops while I convinced Matt he should try out his new shoes. *snicker*

 He looks super pleased doesn't he?

 Jackson said Daddy held him back and he could have won if he didn't have to drag Daddy around.

 But he got a medal anyways and keeps telling people he won the Olympics.

Then Olivia ran- my little Miss Uncoordinated and Completely Un-Athletic.

 But she finished and loudly proclaimed she did it without falling. WIN.

 So she got a medal too.

 Then for her birthday we painted her room purple because she is not a baby and pink is apparently a baby color. You've all been schooled.

 It's a lot of purple, yo.

And the good folks at Home Depot aren't required to pass a math test or know how to work a calculator because we now have an extra gallon of purple we don't need. YAY.

So that's some of it. Just a little bit. Tomorrow I have a book review for you and we can meet Lola.

Weekend warrior. Kind of.

I have been on a reading roll as of late, and not just books that I'm reviewing, but books for fun too. So let's add some books to your to-read lists. 

Live Wire - Lora Leigh

Meet Captain Jordan Malone. For years he has been a silent warrior and guardian, operating independent of government protocol or oversight, leading his loyal team of Elite Ops agents to fight terror at all costs. A legend in the field, Jordan’s true identity has remained a mystery even to his own men…until now.

Tehya Talamosi, codename Enigma, is a force to be reckoned with. A woman this striking spells nothing but trouble for Jordan. Armed with killer secrets—and body to die for—she’ll bring Jordan to his knees as they both take on the most deadly mission they have ever faced. Because this time, it’s personal…

I am a huge fan of Lora Leigh and she never disappoints when you want a romance novel with a hot guy and great sex scenes. Because let's face it- when you're on your period, this is good stuff. I've read a lot of the others in the Elite Ops series, I think I am missing one (but not for long), and they were all good. We have a smart girl, we have a hot guy, we have fantastic sex scenes, we have danger and crime, and just all rolled into one really good story you can't put down.

Mine to Hold - Shayla Black

Tyler Murphy was an LAPD detective, single and happy—until a near-fatal tragedy crippled his friend, fellow detective Eric Catalano. While Tyler supported Eric, he also became a shoulder for Eric’s wife, Delaney, to lean on. But with one naughty suggestion from Eric, a drunken night with Delaney spilled into erotic abandon. Before it was over, Tyler saw his best friend’s wife as a woman and yearned for more. When Eric struggled to deal with the aftermath, Delaney begged Tyler to leave. Crushed, he fled to Louisiana, hoping to escape his longing for the one woman he could never have again…and unaware of what he’d left behind.After two years of living with regret, Tyler finds Delaney on his doorstep, her husband having abandoned her long ago. She’s protecting a shocking secret and desperately needs refuge from a stalker determined to see her dead. As they fight to stay alive and catch the killer, they struggle to resolve the guilt of their past pleasures. But they can’t deny that what was once a spark is now a flame burning out of control. To possess Delaney—body and soul—Tyler must heal her pain and thwart the evil that’s a mere breath behind her…

This was the first book I've read from Shayla Black and I of course bought it because I liked the cover. I'm going to be honest- I was worried I wouldn't like this book because it felt like it might be your run of the mill romance novel, but I was totally wrong. The story reels you in and keeps you there because you want to know how it will end- does Tyler and Delaney end up together? Do they solve Delaney's problem? I totally loved this book and it has made me a Shayla Black fan. What I really liked about this book is that it flips from past and present but not in the way where you get annoyed at having to keep track of all of this information. Nope- it's done well and it makes you root for both Tyler and Delaney. 

On The Island  Tracey Garvis Graves

Anna Emerson is a thirty-year-old English teacher desperately in need of adventure. Worn down by the cold Chicago winters and a relationship that’s going nowhere, she jumps at the chance to spend the summer on a tropical island tutoring sixteen-year-old T.J.

T.J. Callahan has no desire to go anywhere. His cancer is in remission and he wants to get back to his normal life. But his parents are insisting he spend the summer in the Maldives catching up on all the school he missed last year.

Anna and T.J. board a private plane headed to the Callahan’s summer home, and as they fly over the Maldives’ twelve hundred islands, the unthinkable happens. Their plane crashes in shark-infested waters. They make it to shore, but soon discover that they’re stranded on an uninhabited island.

At first, their only thought is survival. But as the days turn to weeks, and then months, the castaways encounter plenty of other obstacles, including violent tropical storms, the many dangers lurking in the sea, and the possibility that T.J.’s cancer could return. As T.J. celebrates yet another birthday on the island, Anna begins to wonder if the biggest challenge of all might be living with a boy who is gradually becoming a man.

OK, here is hands down my most favorite book out of the summer. I have read it three times since July. I read it for an online book club I'm in and I'll be honest-  I was hesitant. The story sounded like a cross between that movie Cast Away and a little Mrs. Robinson. Which, it kind of ended up being just that- but it was done beautifully. It really was. It was written so well and the story is really, truly great. I finished this book in just under 7 hours and I couldn't put it down. I couldn't believe the story after their plane crashed and they literally washed up on the beach. You know what will happen between Anna and TJ but when you realize how long they are on this island you not only blame them, but you root for them. I was on edge the entire time and had to take a breather during the shark incident. And the jellyfish incident. It's awesome and if you are in a book club or in the market for a really good book you'll get lots of use of because you'll want to read and re-read it- this is your book. I am so excited to see what Tracey writes next because she has herself a life time fan based on this book. 
**

What have you read lately that was really, really great?