All things that I know.
But I also know that my kids are at the age where they are trying to figure out what it is they like. What they will maybe really love someday. I also kind of feel like it's my job to give them opportunities to figure that out to the best of my ability. This season it just happens to be soccer. And I've also decided I don't know how any family pays for multiple children to be in sports because holy mother fuck does it add up.
I have a few pictures from first real day of practice, but before I do that, let me share with you the cluster fuck this really is and how it's really all Matt's fault.
Because you know I wouldn't have done this had I been in charge. Which, my dear lambs, is why I just do it all myself. Because I end up feeling stabby as I sit on a cold gymnasium floor for three hours every Saturday for seven weeks.
I sent Matt to the YMCA to sign the kids up for youth indoor soccer. I asked that he get information because the flyer didn't really have much, and I asked that if the kids would be at the same time or not. If NOT, then only sign Olivia up. If yes, sign them both up. Easy, right? No. Apparently I speak a foreign language only I understand.
Because when I go to the meet and greet, after Matt tells me that yes! They'll both be on the same team and YES! They will play at the same time. Weird considering they are 7 and 4, two totally different ages and comprehension levels but he assures me they are breaking kids up by school. Which, weird? I didn't think it was done that way but what the fuck do I know? I'm a soccer mom virgin.
As it turns out, he was wrong and I was right. They aren't on the same team. Nope. Jackson is with the 4K-K kids and Olivia is with the grades 1-2 kids. OBVIOUSLY.
They aren't even playing at the same time. Not even back to back. No. Jackson plays from 9-10 (usually), and then Olivia plays 11-12. There is only one week in which they will be back to back. Then the meet and greet was so disorganized and they wanted me to meet with both coaches at the same time which was logistically impossible because of course one is in the gym and one is down the hall. So I'm running back and forth making sure I sign rules of conduct and trying to get the team shirt thing figured out.
Then I realized that they are handing Olivia stuff for the 4K team and Jackson's team has information about the 1-2 teams and yeah. Cluster fuck is the most appropriate adjective to use here. And I'm sorry, but how hard is your job? You can't tell me that this is the best way to run this. I get you have parents volunteering to be coaches, but you can't make them come an hour earlier to explain stuff to them before, give them their paperwork and make sure it's correct? No. Apparently not.
Then, let me tell you about picture day, which was yesterday. Not only were they running way behind by the time I got there for our 9:20 pictures for Jackson, but it was incredibly disorganized. First off, people are just standing around, down in the picture area and they aren't supposed to be there, nobody is really in charge, parents can't even remember to bring their fucking form (oh how I have a hard time with people who can't manage to hang onto a piece of god damn paper for two weeks. That's it, folks- two weeks. That is why they invented magnets and our fridges are magnetic, morons.)
I'm just saying when you tell me to get my son, who's on the gold team, downstairs, and then when I'm there- tell me that instead the red team will get theirs done instead and I should check back?
Pretty sure that's why they have a code of conduct form. Because I wanted to beat that person with their clipboard and shove a pen in his ass. That's how I was feeling. I also didn't get breakfast so it could have been low blood sugar.
But you want to see my kids in action, right?
Or shaking his booty against the goal.
Olivia on the other hand has a better concept of what to do during practice.
It's going to be a long seven weeks, homies.
Oh, and they start swimming on Monday. Because I'm clearly insane.