I'll get your info and forward it on and you'll have a new book. BAM. Just like that, hookers.
Do you all remember when I ranted like a loon about stay at home mom's a few months ago? And how lots of you totally agreed and we almost marched on Washington with our puffy paint shirts and we could have been on CNN or something?
Of course you do.
Well I'm angry about them yet again. Yet again, bitches. Because I feel like they are morons. I had to drop off something at a person's house today because she bought this thing on Facebook from me and so I said I'd drop it off because as it turns out, she's a stay at home mom and just could not get away. Um, whatever. Kids don't hold me down, but maybe she has demon children and have them in cages or something.
But I get there, and she has me like come into this weird entry way type thing and her house? Fucking disaster. It's like a beginning hoard situation, it smells literally like shit, and her kids are running around clearly filthy and half naked. Then she has the balls to be like, "it's so hard being a stay at home mom, I just can't get it all done".
Oh no she didn't.
Because you know I simply CANNOT help myself and have a really poor impulse control when my bullshit-o-meter has hit its max and I calmly reply, "Really? Because I work about 30 hours a week, volunteer for 10, and still get it all done without a problem."
She was clearly pissed off and I got out of there before I said anything that could get me killed. For all I know, her children are feral.
Then, I'm talking to this guy at Barnes & Noble (it was a long line, I make friends easily) and somehow we get on this topic. Turns out, his wife is a SAHM and she says she just cannot get the house totally clean every day let alone dinner.
But it's really making me angry, this complex that stay at home mom's have. What the fuck are you doing all day? I don't understand. I'd really like someone to explain to me how it is possible that you cannot get your dishes done, stay on top of your laundry, run the house, take care of the kids and make dinner daily. I'm serious. I understand that we all have days where you have sick kids and they puke/piss/shit on stuff faster than you can wash it. Or you have an extra load of errands and maybe you're picking up McDonald's for dinner. I get it, it happens to all of us.
I'm telling you right now, that if you decide you are going to take on the role of a stay at home parent, you take on the responsibility of the majority of the household chores and you need to have dinner on the table. I'm sorry, but if you can't figure out a meal to have on the table for dinner while you are at home all day, there's a problem.
I also feel like children of stay at home parents should have a higher standard. I mean, if I can teach my kids manners, how to act like calm and reasonable citizens, and how to behave when running errands on our limited time doing such things, then by fucking god, if you are with your kids 24/7? They should be like best kids ever. If you end up raising brats with terrible manners, what's your excuse?
So that's one part of stabfest.
The other is, I feel like if your child is screaming at the top of their fucking lungs in say, a book store, you need to try to get them to stop. I'm all for the "cry it out" thing at bedtime, but in the middle of a store? No. That's not an OK time or place.
I have two kids and I can count on one hand in the seven years I've been a parent how many times my kids have ever done that. Once. ONE TIME have my children screamed as if I were kidnapping them in the middle of Target and it lasted for 3 seconds. I just left my cart right in the aisle and we left. Was I out of diapers? Yup. Was I out of dish soap? Yup. Was I in desperate need for pepsi and cheeto's? Yes. Was I going to continue shopping with them screaming so other people could conspire to kill me for bad parenting? No.
Because only oblivious assholes do that.
Even Matt said I looked kind of scary because I gave that shit mother the look. She's over there, reading her fucking Glamour magazine with her child screaming as if someone was performing and exorcism on him. Does she even look at her kid? No. Acknowledge that he could be being stabbed at that moment because of how he sounded? No.
She finally looked up and clearly my look was enough to make her put the magazine down and walk away. I'm also sure that having my seven and four year old look at her and her son like they were total assholes helped as well. To top it off? Jackson says clear as day, "Maybe he needs a new mom. And a nap. What a brat." The guy behind us in the line? CRACKED UP.
I've also decided I need to stop going to the mall on the weekend. Nothing good ever happens.